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Psalm 23:1-3

17 Mar

The Lord is my shepherd, I will not be in need. He lets me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For the sake of His name.

Psalm 23:1-3

Dear God, I’ve just kind of felt like I’m slogging through mud lately. Low-grade depression? Maybe. I’ve been fortunate to not have experienced true depression often. I guess it just feels like there are so many little fires with which I have to deal in my life right now that maybe the cumulative effect is that they are getting to me a bit. And it’s not the kind of thing a vacation can help. I don’t think it’s burnout. I’ve been burned out before too. This is different. This is just fatigue. As I sit here and prepare to go to work, I have trouble summoning the enthusiasm the job requires.

But isn’t it interesting. Just saying that explicitly through typing these words to you helps to lift that feeling. There is so much power for Satan over our lives through our secrets. The secret struggle that we don’t want to admit out loud–not even to you. In my case, it’s just the fatigue. And at a macro level you have been so good to me. But on a micro one, I just see all of these little problems to solve. But this is where you stretch me and help me grow. This is where you train me to live beyond myself and live for you. And, according to David in this psalm (who obviously wrote it when he was feeling similarly to how I am feeling now), you will provide for what you need me to have when you need me to have it.

Father, help me to take my eyes off of everything and find the joy in serving you with each individual task ahead of me. Come alongside me and work with me. Love through me. Support the efforts you need me to take for your kingdom’s sake. Love through me. Grow me into the man you need me to be. Help men to take your presence and share it with those around me.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 17, 2021 in Psalms

 

Acts 4:5-12

15 Mar

On the next day, their rulers and elders and scribes were gathered together in Jerusalem; and Annas the high priest was there, and Caiaphas, John, and Alexander, and all who were of high-priestly descent. When they had placed them in the center, they began to inquire, “By what power, or in what name, have you done this?” Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them, “ Rulers and elders of the people, if we are on trial today for a benefit done to a sick man, as to how this man has been made well, let it be known to all of you and to all the people of Israel, that by the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, whom you crucified, whom God raised from the dead— by this name this man stands here before you in good health. He is the stone which was rejected by you, the builders, but which became the chief cornerstone . And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among mankind by which we must be saved.”

Acts 4:5-12

Dear God, the Jewish rulers, elders and scribes were the “builders,” but they used the wrong materials to build. They got the cornerstone wrong. Little did they know you were going to make Jesus the cornerstone anyway.

I just keep coming back to today’s church in America. How many pastors are using the wrong stones to build? How many are focusing on the wrong things? How many are placating their congregations or their own pride and vanity instead of submitting to you?

And now that I am throwing stones, let me aim them at myself. Where is my head right now? Am I doing what I can to point people to you through Jesus? Am I building with the wrong materials? Am I pointing to my own “wisdom” and “ability” as the cause for success instead of you.? Am I trying to solve others’ problems or my own problems with my own intellect instead of leaning on you? Are you my personal cornerstone?

Father, it seems that repentance is always the order of the day for me. I am sorry. I am sorry for so many things. Help me to see my own sin clearly, repent of it, and then take up my cross and follow you. Help me to pray for others. I have a friend right now who is particularly on my mind. I have relatives as well. There are so many who need your help. Please help. And help me to not only have you as my cornerstone, but to build the world I can influence by using you as the cornerstone in all my my work.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 15, 2021 in Acts

 

52 Weeks Later

14 Mar

No verse.

Dear God, it’s been 52 weeks to the day that I was in a high state of alert with the pandemic. I took on on Thursday, March 12, to attend a court hearing with a relative, and that was the day a lot of national organizations such as the NCAA started to shut things down, realizing the COVID-19 was serious and was worthy of draconian measures to stop it. I knew that the staff at work was of two minds. Some were insisting that this was all overblown and some were insisting that we weren’t taking this seriously enough. I felt like my job was to find the correct path–your path–forward. We had a fundraising dinner coming up. We had patients, volunteers, and staff who needed to be protected. We had a role to play in our community’s response to the new pandemic. What did you want us to do? What did you want me to do?

My response was to take this Sunday one year ago to fast and pray. I actually went down to the clinic where I work and went to the chapel. After praying for a little while, I got my laptop and typed an email to our medical director, dentist, and therapist, outlining my thinking and what I heard the Holy Spirit telling me. I won’t go into the details of everything we decided, but I can tell you it was a time of pressure that pushed me into a state of desiring to be as close to you as possible. I wanted to get this right under your blessing and leadership. Looking back, I think that happened. I think you really provided for us.

So now I sit here one year later, and I can see that you’ve done some amazing things. But there are still some decisions to be made. What do we do about loosening up any restrictions? How far do we go in opening up our facility at work to anyone who wants to come in the door? What do we do with our fundraising events for the rest of the year? How should we work with our donors? What role do we have to play in our community’s continued response? How do I bless the staff and balance between making their lives easier/safer, and ensuring we help every single person you bring to us? Then there are the personal things. What kinds of precautions do my wife and I still need to take? Church? Eating out? Shopping? Visiting family. We’ve both been fortunate enough to be vaccinated, but there is still so much that is unknown about the variants of COVID-19. What do you have for us to do?

Father, I want to take this day as well to fast and pray. I’ll admit that I’m not as much looking for guidance and I am wanting to center myself on you. Selfishly, I am hoping you will see this pious act on my part and reward it. Hmm, that is an interesting thing to admit to myself. What is my motivation? It’s actually pretty selfish. I’m sorry. No, what I want is your insight into this situation. I do want your guidance. Please help me as I go through this day to use this as worship of you and draw me closer to your still small voice through the Holy Spirit.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 14, 2021 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

1 Peter 3:14-15

11 Mar

But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. And do not fear their intimidation, and do not be in dread, but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, but with gentleness and respect;

1 Peter 3:14-15

Dear God, I was having lunch with someone last week and the subject of persecution of Christians in America came up. When he complained about it, I was able to push back a little and challenge the idea that we are really persecuted. I think we call the wrong what is happening “persecution,” when reality is that we are losing our influence because our sheer numbers are declining, and, therefore, people are not as apt to go along with our opinions and do things there way. As Christians in American society, we have been in the dominant position for so long that we have a visceral reaction to the society doing things differently that we do.

So, if, on a scale of 1-10 we call this a persecution at a stage 1 or 2, what should be our response? It seems that our temptation is to try to grasp onto that power and influence and not lose it. We make it our idol and start to ignore relationship with you. We start to look to you as more our philosophy and as something to defend. Then we look to political leaders who tell us they will defend us/you. And we start to buy into the idea that you are a God that needs defended. Peter tells us here what we are defending. We aren’t defending you to society. We aren’t trying to claim societal power and influence in your name. He tells us we need to be prepared to defend the hope that is in us. We need to be ready to explain it, share it, and then let the chips fall where they may. And when we do this, we need to do it with gentleness and respect.

Father, I have been convicted lately that I am just not good at this. I am better at talking to others about the virtual cycling program I use than I am about you. Even the words I use are words I should be using for you. Words like “changed my life,” “I do it almost every day,” and “best thing I ever did.” How backwards is that. So help me to share my story of joy and peace in you more bluntly and proudly because you are the hope in me. But help me to do it with gentleness and respect. And do it all for your glory.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 11, 2021 in 1 Peter

 

2 Timothy 1:8-9

09 Mar

Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord or of me His prisoner, but join with me in suffering for the gospel according to the power of God, who saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace, which was granted to us in Christ Jesus from all eternity,

2 Timothy 1:8-9

Dear God, I wonder what Paul would have to say to modern American Christians. What kind of suffering would he call us to? What kinds of sacrifices? How would he admonish us? What criticisms would he have? What exhortations? And then the best question of all, how would we respond?

Sometimes, I almost feel like the kid who is left alone at home without supervision. Sure, I’m doing most things right. The house is still standing. I’m not throwing any wild parties. But how much is there that I’m not doing? I’m not cleaning my room like my parents want me to. I’m not making my bed. I’m not eating healthily. I’m letting the seeds of lethargy grow.

Taking that analogy, I think the church (and I, as part of the church) is doing that right now. We are doing the worship services. We have some programs that serve people. But are we really willing to get into the weeds with people? Are we willing to expose ourselves to the suffering of others and perhaps even suffer ourselves as we serve them? I have to say that I doubt Paul would only have positive things to say to me.

Father, this is all a process, but help me to make progress in this process. Show me in this moment what I am supposed to do to serve you by serving others. Help me to know how to bring your light, hope, grace, joy, and peace to others so that they, in turn, might find the wonder that is found in submitting to you and your grace.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 9, 2021 in 2 Timothy

 

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

07 Mar

“Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Dear God, I should probably commit verses four and five to memory as many Jewish people still do today. 

“Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today.”

Maybe I should print it and put it on my bathroom mirror, saying it every morning as I get ready, making it a reminder to me that I am to love yo with all my heart, soul, and strength. I’m often amazed and disappointed at myself for how much I don’t love you with all of my heart, soul, and strength. If I were to assess myself for percentage of heart, soul, and strength with which I love you, I sadly might venture as high as 40%–maybe. Even that feels like it is being generous. In fact, I don’t even think I can envision what it would look like to love you with 100% of my heart, soul, and strength. 

Father, I’m about to speak at a church this morning. I’m going to talk about hearing your word, repenting, and then following your call to do the work you have for us to do. I’m going to tell my story from the last 21 years. Be with me as I tell it. Holy Spirit, be in the room with me. Stir hearts. Speak to souls. Inspire others to love you with all of your heart, soul, and strength. Inspire them to repent, ask for your guidance, and then follow your call. Be glorified in what I do today. Not for my glory, but for yours.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 7, 2021 in Deuteronomy

 

Joshua 1:1-9

04 Mar

After the death of Moses the Lord’s servant, the Lord spoke to Joshua son of Nun, Moses’ assistant. He said, “Moses my servant is dead. Therefore, the time has come for you to lead these people, the Israelites, across the Jordan River into the land I am giving them. I promise you what I promised Moses: ‘Wherever you set foot, you will be on land I have given you— from the Negev wilderness in the south to the Lebanon mountains in the north, from the Euphrates River in the east to the Mediterranean Sea in the west, including all the land of the Hittites.’ No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you. “Be strong and courageous, for you are the one who will lead these people to possess all the land I swore to their ancestors I would give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:1-9

Dear God, sometimes I forget to be strong and courageous. I can be timid and fearful. I can be too cautious as I evaluate all of my options. To be sure, this command to Joshua is not to be reckless, but courageous. Not to be dominating, but strong.

As I go into this day of work, help me to be mindful of this speech to Joshua as he took over for Moses. Help me to do it all under your leadership, following your rules of engagement. Help me to be strong and courageous, working with both compassion and appropriate justice. Be glorified through me so that your will might be done and your kingdom will come on earth as it is in heaven.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 4, 2021 in Joshua

 

Isaiah 55

03 Mar

“Is anyone thirsty? Come and drink— even if you have no money! Come, take your choice of wine or milk— it’s all free! Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength? Why pay for food that does you no good? Listen to me, and you will eat what is good. You will enjoy the finest food. “Come to me with your ears wide open. Listen, and you will find life. I will make an everlasting covenant with you. I will give you all the unfailing love I promised to David. See how I used him to display my power among the peoples. I made him a leader among the nations. You also will command nations you do not know, and peoples unknown to you will come running to obey, because I, the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, have made you glorious.” Seek the Lord while you can find him. Call on him now while he is near. Let the wicked change their ways and banish the very thought of doing wrong. Let them turn to the Lord that he may have mercy on them. Yes, turn to our God, for he will forgive generously. “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts. “The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth. They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry. It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it. You will live in joy and peace. The mountains and hills will burst into song, and the trees of the field will clap their hands! Where once there were thorns, cypress trees will grow. Where nettles grew, myrtles will sprout up. These events will bring great honor to the Lord’s name; they will be an everlasting sign of his power and love.”

Isaiah 55

Dear God, this is such a loving message from you through Isaiah. I know it was meant for another audience. You didn’t necessarily say it with a Gentile in the year 2021 in mind. Sure, it might apply to me, but what it definitely says is that you are so good. You are so loving. You want the best for us as your children.

Not that our lives will be easy. Not that we won’t face challenges, sorrow, or tragedies. But you will be there with us through thick and thin. You will reach out and love us. You will comfort us. Ultimately, we will be with you. We will be free from this. But even if we weren’t, the idea that you’re out there loving me is enough for me…I think.

Father, I confess that I am weak. My emotions ebb and flow. My faith is like the wind, blowing this way and that. I know that if I were to really suffer–and I don’t really know what real suffering is–then it would be harder for me to say words like this and believe them. But in this moment, right now, I am so delighted to call you my God. I love you and I want to do my part to be in this relationship.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 3, 2021 in Isaiah

 

Daniel 9:1-3

01 Mar

It was the first year of the reign of Darius the Mede, the son of Ahasuerus, who became king of the Babylonians. During the first year of his reign, I, Daniel, learned from reading the word of the Lord, as revealed to Jeremiah the prophet, that Jerusalem must lie desolate for seventy years. So I turned to the Lord God and pleaded with him in prayer and fasting. I also wore rough burlap and sprinkled myself with ashes.

Daniel 9:1-3

Dear God, I don’t know my Old Testament timelines well enough. I’ve ranted about the modern misinterpretations of Jeremiah 29:11:

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

But they almost always skip verse 10:

This is what the Lord says: “You will be in Babylon for seventy years. But then I will come and do for you all the good things I have promised, and I will bring you home again.

There are times when I think I focus too much on trying to see the forest from the trees, but sometimes I think it is important to ignore the forest and just deal with the trees for which you have given responsibility. Help me to be faithful with these trees.

Then there is Daniel’s response, from I can learn as well. Help me to be pained by my country’s sin, and help me to start with my own repentance. I should probably be more burdened for the impact my country’s sin has on the poor and/or vulnerable. What impact it has on children. What impact it has on the elderly. Marriages. Friendships. Isn’t it interesting that our temptation as Americans is to read this passage and find hope. Daniel’s response was to be convicted, heartbroken and repent. Let it convict me as well.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 1, 2021 in Daniel, Jeremiah

 

1 John 3:16-17

27 Feb

We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person?

1 John 3:16-17

Dear God, I cannot remember if I mentioned this in a prayer the other day, but I know I was talking with a friend about it yesterday. I heard a podcast where two men and a woman were talking about having been to seminary and how they think the examples held up to pastors as those you should emulate are the wrong ones. Even as a society, we often point to those who have accomplished the most with broad influence and power and valued them more than we value the faithful volunteer whose work we never see. One person in the discussion joked that instead of holding up pictures of national leaders who are influential they should hold up a picture of one of the pastors in the conversation who was serving with a seemingly smaller sphere of influence. To the pastor’s credit, he said, “No, we need to hold up a picture of Jesus on the cross. That’s the example we need to be prepared to follow.”

This passage from 1 John 3 made me think of that this morning when I read it. You are my example. You didn’t care about government power or building the kind of power structure the world builds. That was another part of their discussion. One man described the Jesus movement of the 70s and how you had these radical Christians like Larry Norman and Keith Green who went counter-culture. Keith Green made his record label angry because he gave away his records. He bought a piece of property and started a commune for homeless people. But conventional wisdom (what I’m calling the wisdom of man) takes over and says, “Hey, we need to grow our influence and reach. We need to get this out and grow.” Then we start to focus more on strategy and infrastructure and building a kingdom.

I fall into this trap at work. I work at a nonprofit that serves people. It requires staff and money. It requires a facility. And then we meet as leadership and the question we ask ourselves is, what do we need to do to grow? What’s next? And we are certain there must be an answer. There must be something that is next to grow our numbers. But it’s likely we are asking the wrong question. Is the question, how do we add more clients, or is the answer how can we be more effective with the clients we have? How can we make a meaningful impact on a few lives as opposed to a cursory impact on thousands?

Father, I am sorry I do so many things for the wrong reasons. I’m sorry for relying so much on conventional wisdom. I’m sorry for not trying to see each and every situation with your eyes. Let my biblical hero be the widow who left her two coins in the offering. She lived a small life, but it still reverberates through history 2,000 years later.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 27, 2021 in 1 John

 
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