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Category Archives: Musings and Stories

When People Let You Down

23 Nov

Dear God, being a Baylor fan, it’s been hard over the last four or five years to know whom I should like and whom I shouldn’t. There’s been scandal and I’ve heard conflicting information from various sources. Some have said that one football coach was to blame. Others have blamed the coach, the school president and the athletic director (AD). Some say the board of regents threw the other three under the bus, but the fault lies with them. They haven’t made it easy to be a Baylor fan.

So three years ago, the school hired a new president, AD, and coach. I think I like all three of them, but I have admittedly guarded my heart against them and tried to remain skeptical–especially of the coach. And the coach has made it hard because, even when he went 1-11 in his first year, he sure says things that I like and seems like someone I can trust.

Last Saturday morning, I found the video I linked above. It’s a 20-minute video of the coach speaking at a men’s conference after his first season (1-11) at Baylor. It was strikingly good and seemingly authentic. It spoke to me on a personal level, but it also pushed me closer to allowing myself to trust in him a little more.

Why am I praying to you about this this morning? Well, I woke up thinking about what appropriate trust in others looks like and how we should respond to their failings. When I give this coach, this AD, and/or this president my trust, what am I giving them?

  • I’m willing to donate to the athletic department, trusting that they will use the scholarship money to develop a young person and give them opportunities they wouldn’t otherwise have.
  • I’m willing to cheer and applaud for the team(s), trusting that they are people worthy of my applause.
  • I’m willing to travel to see them play, trusting that they are worth the time I’m giving to cheering them on, win or lose.
  • I’m willing to show my support for them through the clothes I wear, stickers I put on my car, and the flag I hang on my house, trusting that they aren’t doing things of which I would be ashamed. For example, I threw away my Big 12 Championship t-shirt when the scandal broke a few years ago because I just couldn’t wear it anymore.

Of course, the danger is always putting my trust in people and not in you. I’m not looking to Baylor’s athletic performance or how they behave behind the scenes to give me any kind of peace, which can only come from you. That means, when they disappoint me (not on the field, but off of it), I will look to see how they respond.

But back to the video I posted above. I think this video shows me a vulnerability and depth of character and knowledge of you that really encourages me. When a friend of mine listened to it he said, “Wow, he’s a real Christian.” I think that is true. That doesn’t mean that he is incorruptible anymore than I am. In fact, he’s probably more vulnerable because he has a lot more notoriety and power than I have. But I believe he’s the kind of man who will repent after failing instead of pretending like none of it is his fault.

Father, the lesson for me is to love people and be vulnerable myself. If I am going to appreciate someone else, it should be for the character they show, even when they fail. I should not look to them for my joy, but appreciate the work they do to bring your kingdom into the world. Matt Rhule isn’t perfect. He will make mistakes and fail. But I appreciate his willingness to vulnerably represent you. Thank you for his example and for the work you are doing through him, regardless of wins.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on November 23, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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The Four-Way Test

21 Nov

The Rotary Four-Way Test

Of the things we think, say, and do:

  • First, is it the truth?
  • Second, is it fair to all concerned?
  • Third, will it bring good will and better friendships?
  • Fourth, will it be beneficial to all concerned?

Dear God, I joined Rotary over 12 years ago and I’m so glad I did. I’ve learned a lot, and it has been a good way for me to engage in community service outside of the work I do through the social service nonprofit where I work. One of the problems with working in a nonprofit focused on a single issue like healthcare, children or animals is that you can become myopic about your cause and you lose sight of other areas of need in the community. I would imagine that working in a church would present a similar problem.

Being in Rotary, however, exposes me to a variety of service projects. And even the speakers we have will sometimes talk about their social service activities or teach us something new. Frankly, it has also helped expose the nonprofit where I work to the members with whom I serve.

At the end of each meeting, we recite the four-way test I listed above. I’ve actually used this test several times. Years ago, I was in the middle of a crisis with our facility that ultimately resulted in our organization suing the builder. I didn’t want to do it, but their insurance company told us they wouldn’t engage with us until we brought a lawsuit. Through the whole process, however, whenever I had a decision to make or needed to give my advice to our board of directors, I would actively try to run it through this four-way test.

My problem with some Rotary clubs when I visit them is that they add a fifth test–Is it fun? Really? That’s a way to measure whether I should do something or not? I should base my decision making and choices on whether or not something is fun? No. I reject that. I prayed with my wife this morning and told her that a hard thing I had to do yesterday passed the four-way test, but it was not fun. As Fred Smith reminded us in his blog this morning, there is also duty, and oftentimes duty is not fun.

Father, help me to remember that you pretty much gave us a two-way test:

  • Am I loving you with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength?
  • Am I loving my neighbor as myself?

Paul said that a fruit of the Spirit is joy, but nowhere are we told in scripture that joy, fun or happiness should be our pursuit. That is just something Thomas Jefferson threw into the Declaration of Independence. Happiness is fleeting, but joy comes to us from the peace of doing our duty. Help me to do my duty today.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on November 21, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Faithful Grinders

16 Nov

Dear God, it is so important for us to be part of others’ lives. Yesterday, I talked to you about “making old friends” and seeing what surprises there might be in developing relationships with people from my past with whom I didn’t use to have anything in common. Then there’s the other side of the spectrum. It’s those existing old friends who just impress you and inspire you.

Last night, I spent the night with one of the most amazing couples I’ve ever known. The husband was my high school youth minister. I first met them over 32 years ago. I knew them before they were engaged, much less married. Keeping up with them and knowing them now is an unbelievable inspiration. Of course, you know them and their story better than I do, but they they have faced a lot of adversity. They’ve each had significant health problems. And I mean significant. They have lived their children through difficult paths and watched them grow into fine people who love you. They exemplify everything that is true about gifts of the Holy Spirit. They exhibit love, joy, peace… And there is nothing flashy about them. They are still getting up every day and grinding their way through life. They are still facing challenges. But I see zero bitterness. I see no selfishness or self-pity. My goodness, you radiate through them.

Father, help me to be more like you by being more like them. Oh, how I still like to feel sorry for myself. I still like to see the negatives. I’m sorry. Thank you for this couple. Thank you for showing through them that you don’t have to completely remove the struggle from our lives for your joy and peace to be in us. And I’ll add here, please guide them. Provide for them. Help them to feel your love. And help them to see a little of what they contribute to your kingdom through just living their lives and radiating you.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on November 16, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

Making Old Friends

15 Nov

Dear God, I read Fred Smith’s weekly blog this morning, as I do every week, and this week’s post’s title made me think before I even read the piece: “Making Old Friends”

I suppose you could interpret that sentence in several ways, but my first instinct was to think back to high school and wonder if I could ever be close to people I didn’t care for back then. Would the change in us over the years make us more compatible than we were then? Have I written people off because my image of them is that of the 16-year-old they were instead of the 50-year-old they are?

Then there are others I know, but have never taken time to know well. Do I need to take a better look around me and see if there are friendships that you would like me to cultivate for my benefit, their benefit, and the benefit of your kingdom? I’m sure the answer is yes.

There was a man that lived here when I first moved here nearly 14 years ago. He was in his 70s and single so I assume a lot of his actions were driven by loneliness, but he had lunch out almost every day with someone different, including me. He would call me about 10:00 in the morning and invite me to lunch. I’d go out to lunch with others and see him there with someone (almost always someone different). He was a man about town who attended three church services at three different churches very Sunday so he could sing in three choirs. I wonder if I don’t need a little bit more of him in me.

Father, lead me into local relationships here that will help me to grow closer to you and will bless you and those around me. Yesterday, I sat and ate alone in a restaurant for lunch. A little later, a widowed volunteer came in and sat by herself as I was finishing. I wish I had asked he to lunch. I should have thought about her having that need. So open my eyes so that I can see what you are trying to show me.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on November 15, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

“Unreasonable People” by Fred Smith

31 Oct

This prayer was inspired by Fred Smith’s blog post, “Unreasonable People.”

Dear God, Tuesday night I spoke to a group of donors about our nonprofit, and I mentioned the vision you gave our founding director to get involved in her local community and the health of those who couldn’t afford traditional healthcare. You showed her what to do each step of the way, and you answered the faith that she and others that came around her put in you. Now, 27 years later, it is a full-service medical, dental, and counseling clinic with over a $1 million budget that helps thousands of people. It started with one seed and no apparent resources.

Then, yesterday, I introduced some local people to the first nonprofit where I worked back in Waco. Again, your inspiration led four women to change the life trajectories of those living in deep, urban, multigenerational poverty by starting a therapeutic nursery that helps children starting at birth. Once again, they started with nothing but a vision and an inkling of what their next step was.

Then, this morning, I read Fred’s piece about to different pairs of people who had a vision to impact a problem. One was to clean up trash in the ocean (especially plastic) and the other was to do something about the medical debt that crushes people. They didn’t start with money, but just a vision and an idea of what to do next. I don’t know what role faith played in either of their stories, but I’ve noticed some themes.

  • No one did it alone. Even the woman who started our clinic had key people share her vision and partner with her to make it happen. The four women in South Waco had each other. Each of Fred’s stories has pairs of people, not a Lone Ranger (who had Tanto).
  • They started with no resources or apparent way to pay for it. The just did what was next.
  • They were faithful over a long period of time. These weren’t short-term solutions where people just swooped in, fixed it, and left. They committed for the long term.
  • Through their work, you didn’t eliminate the lack of access to healthcare on a grand scale, multigenerational poverty, trash in the ocean, or medical debt. It’s still out there. But you did move the needle through these people.

Part of the talks I give sometimes are about Nehemiah moments. You inspired Nehemiah to do something about Jerusalem in a way that you didn’t inspire anyone else. Then he took that inspiration, got people to come around him, including the king, and support his work. The money came. The resources came. But Nehemiah didn’t start with money and say, “What should I fix?” He started with a vision and then inspired others to join him.

Father, obviously, there is a role for those who have resources to try to figure out how to solve problems. But maybe one of the problems with that paradigm is that it is too easy to go it alone–without partners. It is too easy to try to take control of the process instead of depending on others to help you make it better. In our weakness, you are strong. You make us better through each other. You make us better through the iron of others sharpening us and our iron sharpening them in return. So please help me to have the humility I need to accept the help of others and embrace the process of them making our organization (and, in the process, me) better. Thank you that you don’t just fix things, but that you enter the world through your people. As Chuck Colson said, “Our hope isn’t in who governs us, or what laws we pass, or what great things we do as a nation. Our hope is in the power of God working through the hearts of people. That’s where our hope is in this country. That’s where our hope is in life.”

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 31, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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“Deep Dive” by Fred Smith

18 Oct

Please take a moment to read this blog post by Fred Smith before reading my prayer below.

Dear God, reading this blog yesterday morning gave me a lot to think about. It came out on a Thursday morning, and on Wednesdays I meet with a sixth-grade boy in a mentoring program at the local middle school. The boy has some particularly difficult circumstances and I’ll confess that I’ve wondered if I’m doing him any good at all. We get about half an hour a week together and I’ve been talking with him a little while he eats and then playing ping pong with him. I have no idea how he sees our time together, and I’ve been trying to think through if I need to do anything different. Then I read this blog post and it helped me a little. I even sent the link to the leadership of the mentoring program so they could see it too.

So what did I get out of it? I really liked how Fred Smith focused on the depth of character that anchors you in an upright position. It’s the first step to address before you start working about where you are going or how you’re going to get there. Do you have that character to anchor you in an upright position first?

It reminds me of the CPR class I took. When someone is in trauma they told you to remember A-B-C: Airway, Breathing, and Cardiovascular. Is the airway clear? Are they able to breathe? Is their heart pumping? In that order. The leg that is broken and pointed in the wrong direction is unimportant in that moment. First, A-B-C. I think that concept can be applied to this. As his mentor, my first concern should be how I can influence his keel. I don’t need to focus on how he’s doing in his classes or what he wants to be when he grows up. I mean, sure, those are things for us to discuss, but if I don’t spend some time purposefully talking about character things with him then I will be missing the point.

Father, help me to be what you need me to be for him. Now that you’ve given me this insight, help me to seek out people who can teach me how to do it. Show me exactly what you need for me to do for this boy. Do it all for your glory, sweet Jesus, so that he might be a reflection of you and experience your love, joy, and peace.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 18, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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The Value in Suffering

03 Oct

The son of one of the nouveau riche, Francis of Assisi, was raised as a spoiled and privileged young man. Imprisoned for a year for being on the losing side of a war with a rival city, his friends noticed a change. He found a little abandoned church and spent whole days there praying. He renounced his inheritance and all claims on his family. 

From “The Inconvenient Elder” by Fred Smith

Dear God, I read Fred Smith’s blog this morning and, while this wasn’t the point of his peace at all, something struck me. It was a follow-up thought to a conversation I had with a friend yesterday. Suffering is an important tool that you use to teach us and help us grow.

In Francis’s case, I knew that he had renounced his family’s wealth out of devotion to you, but I didn’t know that his transformation included a year in prison. Apparently, he got arrested being part of a military expedition (prisoner of war?) and this changed his life. In his older life, I’m sure he regretted his participation in the military expedition, but I also wonder if he was ultimately grateful for the fruit of that suffering. It changed his life.

Isn’t it funny? We all know that the only way we grow is through struggle and yet we do everything we can to avoid it personally, and our temptation is to interfere with our children’s lives so that they will avoid it too. I’m as guilty as anyone. Maybe not as much in my personal life, but certainly at work. I like to build a very comfortable, low-stress environment, sometimes at the expense of expanding our services. I talk a good game, but does my reality reflect what I say I believe?

Father, make me sensitive to any action you’re calling me to. Maybe it will mean struggle for me. Maybe you’re calling our nonprofit to grow and serve more, but my fear keeps it small. Maybe I let my ego and desire to get the approval of others keep me from pushing the envelope. I’m sorry. Give me your vision and the courage to follow it. And please bless my path, not for my comfort, but so that others will be served from you working in my life.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 3, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Friendship

18 Sep

A few years ago, a colleague mentioned to me that he was going to meet with David Brooks, the New York Times columnist and author of some of my favorite books. I gave my colleague an assignment: “Ask him what he would do with several million dollars. What does he think the world really needs right now?”

A few weeks later, David published his answer in the New York Times, which really surprised me. His answer surprised me, too: “…friendship is not in great shame in America today [so]…I’d try to set up places that would cultivate friendships.”

Why? Friends help each other make good decisions. They bring out the best in each other. They hold each other accountable.

Good friends help each other become better people.

David Rogers, President, H.E. Butt Foundation
Echoes Vol. 4, No. 3

Dear God, I was trying to think of what I wanted to talk to you about this morning when I sat down to breakfast and I saw the latest issue of the H.E. Butt Foundation’s magazine/newsletter on the table. I opened it up with the intent of being inspired, and the first thing I saw on the inside cover was David Rogers’s editorial on the inside cover. The importance of friendship seemed like something good to pray to you about.

Friendships have been harder to achieve as an adult than I thought they would be. It is so easy to isolate. Even when I’m out in public, it is easy to have a hundred casual relationships that at one level are friends, but they certainly aren’t on a deeper level.

I suppose I’m grateful not only for my wife, but also for a friend with whom I visit every week on the phone. We share our lives with each other. We talk about accountability issues. I wish he lived closer, but, on the other hand, if he lived closer would we make the time to visit like we do now? Is the distance actually good for us in how we discipline ourselves to visit?

I don’t know how many levels of friendships there are, but let’s say I break it simply into three: Superficial, Moderate, and Deep. Superficial are the relationships I have with most of the people in this town. They know me, but they don’t really know me. And I’m the same way with them. Moderate friendships are like the ones in my church group. They are people with whom my wife and I meet once a month and we talk about our lives in those settings, but we don’t really see each other outside of that. Then there are the deep friendships, of which I only have a couple. I’m grateful for them, but I wonder if I shouldn’t have more.

Father, help me to find the relationships you want me to have so that you can use me in other men’s lives and so that you can use them in mine. Help us to sharpen each other so that we might be the men you need us to be for our families, our work, and our community. And most of all, for your glory.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on September 18, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Suicide Prevention Month

07 Sep

Dear God, I was scanning through The Athletic for some college football news (it’s Saturday, after all) and I found this video series on Suicide in college athletics and what some schools are doing to address mental health. I’ve put a link there. Since it is a pay site, I don’t know if people will be able to click on it or not. I would hope that that The Athletic would make the series freely available.

Anyway, it got me to thinking about suicide. It must pain you to see us in such pain. When you’re watching people attempt or succeed in taking their lives, are you weeping? I imagine you are. Our lives are so precious. Our time here is so short. It must be maximized, at least to some extent. To cut it short for any reason seems like a slap in the face.

But having been around enough people who have struggled, I can see how people would get to the point where they just give up. I never considered myself suicidal at the time, but looking back to some of the struggles I went through six years ago, I can tell you that there were times when I was on a bike ride that I would think that if a car were to hit me then the pain I was experiencing would be over. Even typing that makes it sound much more stark or powerful than the thought felt at the time. I would actually compare it more to the little thoughts Satan plants to tempt us. “Hey, wouldn’t it be nice.” No, sorry, Satan. You can’t get rid of me that easily. But he must have sensed that I was at a weak moment to throw that at me.

I’d like to sit here and come up with what is going through people’s minds when they are suicidal and then think about your response, but the truth is that I don’t know. I know that, for my own mental health, the best things that I do include these prayer journals to you and exercise. I know that when I put myself in the mindset that “I consider my life worth nothing to me,” (Acts 20:24a) then I start looking for ways to use my life for your glory and not give up because there is no glory for me. I know that when I am feeling good physically and getting the right hormones going through my brain then the brain you gave me responds and clears up a lot of bad thinking. You designed our bodies for motion and activity. You designed us to move, give, love, and serve. If we aren’t doing those things then our bodies will not respond correctly.

Of course, I’m not trying to minimize clinical depression or other forms of mental illness. I know that it’s not always as easy as just saying a prayer and hopping on a bicycle for some situations. But I also think that we are over consuming antidepressants in our country simply through lethargy and selfish, self-indulgent lifestyles.

Father, I pray over my own mental health, the mental health of my family, and the mental health of those who are in my sphere. Help me to be a source of your love and hope to them. I will spend some time with a friend later who is walking a dark road. Help me to know what to say and how to be there for him. Help me to love him. Help me to reveal your essence to him.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on September 7, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Revelation

05 Sep

Dear God, I was speaking to a young man in my office yesterday who is heavily influenced by pastors that focus on the rapture and tribulation. He gave me a website to check out and a DVD to view. I watched a little of the DVD and looked at the cover of the website. I’m thinking about writing the young man today with my thoughts.

My first thought is that any time anyone around Jesus was afraid he told them to fear not. Jesus didn’t sell his message using fear. He offered mercy. If I believe what I say I believe and if I share that with others then the rapture and the tribulation will take care of themselves. My job isn’t to scare anyone into Heaven. That isn’t much of a sales pitch anyway.

While we were in my office, he referenced the fruits of the Spirit and said that the first one is love. I agreed with him, but then we listed through the others and I tried to point out peace to him. I’ve told you this many times before, but peace is the one thing that I can’t fake. I can pretty much put up a facade and fake the other fruits. To other people, I can make myself look loving, joyful, kind, gentle, etc., but I am unable to fake peace. When I am truly in you is when I am at peace, and if I am not following you then I have no peace.

Father, I could go on and on, but I guess the thing I really want to say is that I am grateful that you take away all my fear. Your love drives out all my fear. (1 John 4:18). I don’t have to fear the rapture, the tribulation, a one world government or the anti-Christ because you are my God. You have this. I am in you and you are in me. You gave me a great bridge to reach you through coming to earth through the part of your essence that is your son, Jesus, and showed me not only how much you love me, but also how to love and live. Thank you for all of this. I need you.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on September 5, 2019 in 1 John, Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories, Revelation

 

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