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Category Archives: Miscellaneous

Divine Mercy

12 Apr
“Divine Mercy” by Kristin Ashman

Dear God, you know this, but I’m just learning it. Since the early 1900s, Catholics have had a specific celebration for your “Divine Mercy.” My wife has taught me a little about it recently, and I just read about it on Wikipedia. One line from the Wikipedia entry that I liked was, “The primary focus of the Divine Mercy devotion is the merciful love of God and the desire to let that love and mercy flow through one’s own heart towards those in need of it.”

My wife’s friend, Kristin Ashman, painted the image above. When I saw it I made it the wallpaper on my phone. Then my wife actually got me the print above as a gift. I am looking forward to hanging it on my office wall when I get to work in a bit.

But back to the concept of letting your love and mercy flow through me and to others. I have a pastor friend who describes this concept as having a leaky bucket. When we are full of you, water will leak out of our bucket and onto those with whom we come into contact. In a final act, your dead body released blood and water when pierced by a spear. This image represents that as the mercy flowing out of you through your sacrifice of death on a cross for me.

Father, help me to be leaky today. Help me to be so full of you, Jesus, and your Holy Spirit that you lap over the sides of my bucket and leak out any holes in it. When I think about the “P.S.P.S.” prayer I prayed yesterday, I ask that you be with me in my prayers for others, my service to others, my conversations and “persuasions” of others, and anything I do that costs me for the good of someone else or some cause. I want to be a conduit of your divine mercy–not only receiving it, but channeling it through my life to those around me. Help me to do that effectively for the sake of those around me and your glory.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 12, 2024 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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P.S.P.S. (Prayer, Service, Persuasion, Suffering)

11 Apr

Dear God, I was listening to an interview between Andy Stanley and John Dickson last summer and that the 40-minute mark Stanley asks Dickson about a quote in his book about how the early church strove to emulate Jesus. Dickson then said that Jesus used four tools and four tools only to influence his world–Prayer, Service, Persuasion, and Suffering–and that is all he left us as well. I didn’t want to lose that concept so I memorized the acronym P.S.P.S. Obviously, it has stuck with me.

So, it’s been about nine months since I first heard that interview. How am I doing?

  • Prayer: I think I am doing well with my quality time with you, but I don’t do nearly enough in intercessory prayer, either for individuals or societal/world issues that should have my prayer cover. I’m sorry for that. I need to come up with a better system for intercessory prayer. My wife is very good at that. I am not.
  • Service: I have actually worked different service things into my life. I could always do more, but I do have some things outside of my work, which is inherently service-oriented, that help me directly touch lives that might need my input.
  • Persuasion: This one is always tricky. I think my life directly influences a lot of people around me. And I think I am able to use that to get people to consider you more. But do I do enough?
  • Suffering: I really don’t have anything here. I mean, yes, I have some sorrows in my life. Some broken relationships. And at least one of them has at least some linkage to my faith. But for the most part, I don’t know what suffering is. Is this a problem? Is no suffering a sign that I’m not putting myself out there enough? Persuading enough? Serving enough? Praying enough?

One interesting thing I noticed as I did this list is that doing all of these things isn’t only good for the world around me, but it is good for me as well. If I pray more–good for me. If I serve more–good for me. If I persuade more–good for me. If I suffer more–good for me. All of these things, even suffering, will help refine me into being more and more Jesus-like.

Father, help me to be mindful of this today. Help me to love you well. Help me to find time to pray for others and your world. Help me to jump into service. Help me to be bold and loving in my persuasion. And help me to not resist or avoid suffering if it means doing something you called me to do.

I offer all of this to you in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 11, 2024 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories, Uncategorized

 

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“How Noah Started Drinking” by Sally Fisher

05 Apr 
"How Noah Started Drinking" by Sally Fisher

Throughout the building, the plan seemed perfect:
save the little family; save the helpless beasts.
Noah thought of everything: coils of rope, wine jars,
tubs of extra pitch. Work stayed right on schedule. 
Driving home the last roofing nails
he saw the first big drops slap the shingles.

A small fire inside, the smell of wet hides,
soon the deck tilted, soon the ark lifted
from the backyard dry dock. 
Then he heard the cries.

Drinking at the bow, Noah tried not to think of them.
At last he shouted up through the ***** downpour,
If this is the solution, this is what was wrong!
No answer.
Steady rain.

Noah's little son sat on the deck with the shivers,
refusing to look at his father, or the waters.
Plans cannot always be held to.
Noah started pulling in the swimmers.

Dear God, let me start by saying that I don’t embrace everything in this poem by Sally Fisher as truth, but I think the sentiment and the frustration Noah must have felt with your plan probably isn’t far off. You asked a lot of him and his family. I’ve often wondered if I had been there whether I wouldn’t just as soon have died in the flood as opposed to being one of the survivors.

I’m curious about her line, “If this is the solution, this is what was wrong!” I’ll confess I’ve felt that way before as I’ve worked my way through life and tried to wait on your timing or submit to your plan for me or the ones I love. I can think it when I think of war zones like Ukraine and Israel/Gaza. I can think it when I hear stories about the prevalence of human sex trafficking or trafficking of any kind. Of child abuse or sexual abuse. Domestic violence and emotional abuse. “If this is the solution, this is what was wrong!”

And then I think of you and how sad all of this must make you. How sad you must be to see your creation doing such heinous things to each other. And, yes, it could be said of the story of Noah that it is you doing the heinous thing, but were you or were you just trying to make the heinous things we do stop? And whether anyone reading this believes in the literal story of Noah or not, the principle is the same. We can just be awful to each other.

So your ultimate decision was to not destroy the earth again through flood, but to send a piece of you to us to teach us, empathize with our struggles, sacrifice for us, and then reveal your power. You taught to to pray, serve, persuade, and suffer through your own example.

Father, I can appreciate the trauma Noah and his family went through. It must have been very, very hard. It must have left a lasting impact on all of them. And there are things that have happened to me in this life that have left a lasting impact. Everyone I know has had those things. And this morning, I woke up thinking of one heartache in particular that I have that I would love to see you help resolve. So I ask your mercy. I ask your forgiveness for when I break your heart. I ask for your comfort and your strength. I ask that you teach me and love through me. Holy Spirit, move in me.

I gratefully offer all of this to you in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 5, 2024 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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“The Melody” by Jody L. Collins

08 Feb
“The Melody” by Jody L. Collins

Dear God, my wife showed me this poem yesterday morning, and it really spoke to me.

I’ve decided there is one small part that unravels it for me at the end. Ms. Collins asks, “Does He steal way and wander, ‘Perhaps today my child comes home?’” The problem with being you is that you are omniscient and you know the answers. You know who is coming home and when. You know who will never come home. Knowing all of that in advance might allow you to mourn in advance or patiently wait in a way that the author and many of us cannot because we don’t know how this will end.

But I can relate to the Ms. Collins’ sentiments. The busyness that helps distract. The life that must continue to be lived, even in the midst of sorrow.

Father, help me to find the line. Help me to find the point on the spectrum between apathy and obsession. Complete apathy towards what brings me sorrow would be wrong. Complete obsession would be equally wrong. But there is a line between them I’m trying to find. And thank you for the work you’ve given me to do in the meantime. Live through me. Love through me. Comfort and inspire me. I am sorry for all that I do to disappoint you and also tie my own self down. Thank you for your grace. Thank you, Jesus, for your sacrifice, love, and example. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for walking with me and being very near. And thank you, Father, for caring so much about all of us.

I offer this prayer in Jesus and with the Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 8, 2024 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Addiction

16 Jan

Dear God, this morning during our staff prayer time, I talked to the staff about the man I prayed to you about yesterday, Dennis Parker. He is a recovering alcoholic who really offers something beautiful to the world through his relationship with you as expressed through both his music and his life. As we talked and prayed, I felt compelled to pray about the people we would encounter today who might really need us.

Then, after lunch, we had a patient in need. For privacy reasons, I cannot write much of what happened with him here, but suffice it to say he had some serious issues, including addiction, and we were able to help get him towards some resources that might be able to help him. The whole time we were dealing with him I was thinking about Dennis and his story.

Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, I want to really pray for this man right now. I want him to have amazing healing. He has a violent past. I pray that you will heal him from that. He has difficult addictions. Please heal him. He has a huge need for you, God. He simply needs you. Please help him find you. Oh, how I long for him to be an amazing story. I know there are people in the community who are afraid of him. Help him to become a backbone of the community. Help others to marvel at the transformation in him and see you and your power. Draw other people to yourself through his life. Oh, Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, please don’t let his pain be wasted. Make it count. Make it count for him. Make it count for your kingdom to come and your will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. For your glory, Lord. For your glory alone. And for the staff who helped him today. For everyone still helping him. Please touch them and bless them. Use this to draw all of us closer to you as well.

I offer all of this to you in Jesus’s name,

Amen

 
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Posted by on January 16, 2024 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

Lament

14 Jan

Dear God, I prayed a couple of days ago about what you might have for me on this retreat. Now, it’s the last morning, and I think I’ve heard you. The word has been lament. I’ve described my life to others lately as largely good with this tremendous cloud of sorrow that is constantly on the horizon. And it’s amazing how the 90% that’s good can be impacted by the 10% that is incredibly sad, but it’s real and it’s there.

I listened to two different episodes of the Voxology Podcast that I downloaded before I came on the trip. They turned out to be divine appointments. The first episode was titled “The God Who Disappoints Everyone,” and the follow-up episode was called “The Only Way Out is Through.” The first episode talked about the myriad of biblical characters who had, by worldly standards either disappointing lives or, at best, real sorrows after they received your call for them. Moses was called to lead the people to the Promised Land, but wasn’t allowed to enter. David really wanted to build your Temple, but was denied. Mary certainly had heartache. Paul’s life would have turned out better from a worldly standpoint if he had remained a Pharisee. One point he made was that just about everyone who interacted with Jesus, except for the people who were healed or forgiven of their sin (Samaritan woman, woman caught in adultery, etc.), at some point was disappointed in how things were going. Even Jesus’s closest disciples were disillusioned at one time or another. So my life, although containing sorrow, certainly does not stand out amidst these biblical characters.

The next episode was a follow-up because the first one generated so much response from people. They read a couple of emails from people who were doing everything they knew to do, but they were still not experiencing the “God is good all the time,” “You have the victory in Jesus” life. The title of the podcast was their main message. They talked about being “oriented,” “disoriented,” and “reoriented.” Oriented is knowing and feeling who I am in you. Living it fully. Disoriented is losing that feeling in my heart and soul. I know it, but that knowledge isn’t doing anything for me because I still have sorrow and lament. Reoriented is the person who has been through the disorientation and come through the other side. Their advice was for the disoriented person to find an oriented or, preferably, a reoriented person to walk with you through the darkness. Mike talked about the Prince Caspian book from the Chronicles of Narnia series and how the youngest child, Lucy, was the one who could see Aslan while they were walking in a scary and confusing place. The others followed her, trusting she could see Aslan until they were ultimately able to see him for themselves. So Mike’s suggestion was to find someone who can see Jesus from where they are and follow them, putting your trust that Jesus is there, the Holy Spirit is there, you, the Father, are there, and keep following them to you until they themselves can see you.

I’m not saying I’m in a place where I can’t see you. I’ve certainly been there before, but I’m not there now. But I do have this ache and this lament that penetrates my soul. It hurts. It brings tears to my eyes, even as I type these words. And there are times when it doesn’t feel okay. But that is why community is important. In those moments, the people you put into my life—my wife, friends, or even podcasters—give my soul rest while I simply move through the forest. There is no helicopter that will get me out of it. The only way out is through.

Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, thank you for meeting me here this weekend. I consider my life worth nothing to me. I only want to finish the race and complete the task you have given to me. The task of testifying to your grace.

I offer this prayer to you in the name of Jesus, my Lord,

Amen

 
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Posted by on January 14, 2024 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Laity Lodge Men’s Retreat – Morning 1

12 Jan

Dear God, I’m at a men’s retreat with my dad and brother-in-law (and about 50 other men), and I’m trying to be very present in it. I want to know if there is anything you have for me out of this weekend.

I took a bike ride yesterday when I first got here.

As I sat at the top of “Circle Bluff” for almost an hour and tried to be present in worshipping you, I felt the Holy Spirit telling me to, basically, clear my head of anything I think might be on the agenda for the week and just enter your presence. So that’s what I’m going to do.

The speaker this weekend is just going to talk about Philippians. I think he is going to give us an overview of all four chapters in four different sessions. I’m excited about just getting some Bible teaching. I hear sermons, but I don’t often just get straight Bible teaching from an educated expert. I think I’m going to enjoy that. As I think about it, I probably should have brought a pad and paper for notes. Maybe I’ll take this keyboard and my phone and sit in the back at a table and type up my thoughts as he speaks.

One thing I also found last night was that I spoke to some men who just seemed to need to talk. One lost his 99-year-old mother about three weeks ago. Another lost a father a couple of years ago who had lived with him for the last 14 years of his life. I felt like you were using me just to listen as I visited with both of them. So I hope I can be that for people too, including my dad and brother-in-law. And if there’s anything I need to share and there is someone out there you have provided to be your ears for me, help me to discerningly find them.

Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, help me to enter into your presence. Help me to be your hands and feet. Help me to worship you and then love others this weekend. And give me this weekend what you have for me so that I might be the man you need me to be in the world where you have planted me.

I pray all of this in your name,

Amen

 
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Posted by on January 12, 2024 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Christmas Closure

07 Jan

Dear God, I just attended a lovely worship service on the evening of Sunday June 7. It was organized and led by two young women who attend a Catholic college in Ohio, and they gave it to (I could have said “led it for,” but it felt more like a gift) the church before they head back to school.

Since today kind of marks the end of the Christmas season with the recognition of Epiphany (the wise men), they had a bit of a Christmas season focus for the songs and readings, although they weren’t specifically about Christmas itself. But the thought I had during the service was that I needed it more than I realized. I have had a really good and special Christmas season this year. I was able to really meditate on the Incarnation of Jesus and internalize the beauty of your gift to us. What I was lacking, however, was closure on the season. It was just kind of fizzling out. It’s January 7. What’s next?

But today was a good day. I heard a good sermon my Andy Stanley that challenged me to think a little. Then I helped my wife take down our Christmas decorations and return the house to its normal state. And finally I attended this service. It was really good closure.

So as I sat in that church tonight, sang the songs, and prayed to you, I thought about a lot of things. Most important were a couple who is facing a huge health crisis for the wife and had to go to the hospital. They were going to come to the service, but the ER visit got in the way. I prayed for them a lot. Then there was just worshipping you. Appreciating you. Marveling at you. And I was also really appreciating these two young women and hoping great things for them. Not great as in they will increase and you will decrease, but that the fruits of your Spirit will grow powerfully through them.

I guess I’ll close with some of the words to one of the songs they sang for us. The song is called “Humble.”

Humble and human, willing to bend You are
Fashioned of flesh and the fire of life, You are
Not too proud to wear our skin
To know this weary world we’re in
Humble, humble Jesus
Yeah eh eh

Humble in sorrow, You gladly carried Your cross
Never refusing Your life to the weakest of us
Not too proud to bear our sin
To feel this brokenness we’re in
Humble, oh oh humble Jesus

We bow our knees (We bow our knees)
We must decrease (We must decrease)
You must increase (You must increase)
We lift You high

Humble in greatness, born in the likeness of man
Name above all names, holding our world in Your hands
Oh oh oh, not too proud to dwell with us, to live in us, to die for us
Humble, humble Jesus

We bow our knees (We bow our knees)
We must decrease (We must decrease)
You must increase (You must increase)
We lift You high
We bow our knees oh oh (We bow our knees)
We must decrease (We must decrease)
And You must increase (You must increase)
We lift You high

We lift You high
We lift You high
We lift You high
We lift You high
We lift You high
We lift You high yeah
We lift You high

Humble
You are humble
Make me humble
Like you
We lift You high

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Audrey Nicole Assad

The lines that struck me:

  • Not too proud to wear our skin
  • To know this weary world we’re in
  • Not too proud to bear our sin
  • To feel this brokenness we’re in
  • We must decrease
  • You must increase

Father, make that my final prayer as I move out of the Christmas season and into the rest of the year. May I decrease and you increase. Let me model what you modeled: humble.

I pray all of this in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, my Triune God,

Amen

 
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Posted by on January 7, 2024 in Hymns and Songs, Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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My Ideal Church Service

03 Jan

Dear God, I was listening to a podcast today talk about the current paradigm for church services originating 500 years ago when people were mostly illiterate and they needed educated people to teach them what was in the Bible. But this certainly isn’t how the early church worked. There wasn’t a musical prelude, followed by a song, announcements, two more songs, a children’s sermon, an offertory, a sermon, and invitation, and a benediction (with possibly a taking of communion mixed in there somewhere). I would imagine those early church gatherings in Acts looked more like sharing lives, prayer requests, struggles, successes, etc. Maybe there would be a breaking of the bread and taking of the cup in remembrance of Jesus. Maybe someone would feel they had a message from you to share. Maybe someone would have a song they wrote that they wanted to share with everyone.

So I’ve told you many times that I’ve never really liked going to church. I always look at my watch and wonder how long until I can leave. That’s not to say that I don’t get anything out of it. There are times when I really need the experience of singing to you with other believers. Or that the pastor has a message I need to hear. So I’m not saying that I don’t need church. I’ve just never particularly enjoyed going.

So, if I were to start from scratch, take myself back to Jesus’s ascension, and then design what I thought a gathering of believers of The Way should look like, what would I want?

  • I would probably want one or two songs.
  • I would probably want someone to bring a thought for the day. Maybe 5-10 minutes.
  • I can see wanting to spend some time in prayer. Depending on how big the gathering was, I would want to have some time for everyone to go around. Maybe different people take a different aspect of prayer. 1.) Worship 2.) Confession 3.) Thanksgiving and 4.) Supplication.
  • I can see wanting to give people an opportunity to declare in intention or maybe even to accept Jesus as your savior for them.
  • Communion. I would definitely have communion be part of every gathering.

I guess the biggest change for me is the prayer part would largely replace the “sermon” of most churches today. Not that we would have a message, but it would be much less central. There would be a lot more about personal prayer requests and declaring intentions to each other in a pursuit of discipleship.

Father, help me to know what to do with this. You know I’ve had this idea of having a cross-cultural Bible study. Maybe this could be a format for it. I don’t know. I do know that I love you, and I have enjoyed even this time of exploring my heart and seeing how it wants to pursue you through corporate gatherings. Holy Spirit, speak to me and guide me. Jesus, teach me and show me the way to the Father.

I pray this in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on January 3, 2024 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

The Attractiveness of Jesus

31 Dec

Dear God, my wife and I had dinner this last week with a young woman who is still in her teens. She’s really terrific, but she is still…searching. I think she’s finding herself. She’s graduated from high school, and is doing some college, but she’s young and unsure. I don’t perceive she has any use for organized religion or a formal relationship with you, but there was one thing I noticed about her that struck me: tattoos and jewelry with Christian imagery. A cross chain. A cross in the midst of wings. A large tattoo of rosary beads. I don’t even think she knew what she was was of rosary beads, but she thought they were pretty.

As I thought about it later, I went back to the talk I heard several months ago by John Dickson and Andy Stanley about the faith and Christian life Jesus authored vs. what Christians end up living (the 43:45 mark of this video). There is something so unique and beyond genius about what Jesus taught us: love your enemies, forgive those who harm you, serve the poor, love you with everything we have, etc. I think there are people who are searching out there and they know at the root that there is something to what Jesus taught us and the path he offers us to you that is the right thing, but they can’t bring themselves to embrace it because of how Christians have represented that path.

I told my wife it reminded me of the movie Jesus revolution. There is a scene where the hippie evangelist is talking to the traditional pastor, and he’s describing the hippies of the late 60s and early 70s (my paraphrase): They are looking for God. They just don’t know they are looking for God. And they are looking in all of the wrong places. And when they find him they are amazed!

I have a friend who shared this with me just a couple of days ago (names deleted for privacy):

“We spent the afternoon and evening with [a family]. Their daughter and live-in boyfriend are here from [another state]. It was obvious that [the parents] wanted their family to be in proximity to us because of our faith life. I kind of dreaded being with them because I knew of [the daughter’s] very liberal bent. She identifies as non-binary and has no point of reference for Christ. However, I immediately felt comfortable and easily connected with [her and her boyfriend]. We spent the evening engaged in lively and energized conversations about God, the world, and other things. We left their house with full hearts and grateful for the opportunity to simply leak out life with the beautiful bonus of observing [the parents] not holding back the joy of their [recent] salvation and their faith journeys. It was a truly beautiful experience.”

I replied, “I think you found to be true what Paul and Jesus taught. It is easy to show Jesus’s love to the lost. And to even be non-judgmental about it because they are lost. It’s when they see our love and come to faith that the Holy Spirit can start to work on them and earnest conversations can begin. But I think [the daughter and boyfriend] would have been very comfortable with Jesus so they were comfortable with you and [your wife] too.”

Father, as my friend puts it, help me to be leaky for you. Give me a bucket that leaks out your fruit into the world. Whether it be on my relatives, my friends, or even strangers who read this prayer I share with the world. You, Jesus, showed us an amazing glimpse of how the Father intends us to live. Holy Spirit, guide me into that. Guide my wife as well. Show us your path.

I offer this to you in the name of my Triune God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on December 31, 2023 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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