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Category Archives: Hymns and Songs

“The Now and the Not Yet” by Amy Grant

27 Oct

“The Now and the Not Yet” by Amy Grant

No longer what we were before,
But not all that we will be.
Tomorrow, when we lock the door,
On all our compromising,
When He appears,
He’ll draw us near,
And we’ll be changed by His glory,
Wrapped up in His glory….

We will be like Him,
For we shall see Him,
As He is.

No longer what we saw before,
But not all that we will see.
Tomorrow, when we lock the door,
On all our disbelieving,
When He appears (holy, holy),
Our view will clear,
And we’ll be changed by His glory,
Wrapped up in His glory….

But I’m caught in between
The now and the not yet;
Sometimes it seems like
Forever and ever,
That I’ve been reaching to be
All that I am,
But I’m only a few steps nearer,
Yet I’m nearer….

No longer what we were before,
But not all that we will be.
Tomorrow, when we lock the door,
On all our disbelieving,
And He appears (holy, holy),
He’ll draw us near,
And we’ll be changed by His glory,
Wrapped up in His glory….

When He appears (holy, holy),
He’ll draw us near,
And we’ll be changed by His glory,
Wrapped up in His glory….

Written by Pam Mark Hall

Dear God, so I woke up with another song going in my head this morning. I suppose I’m grateful these are sweet Christian songs that are coming to mind. It’s nice to know that’s where my head is when I wake up. An interesting coincidence between this song and the song I prayed about yesterday, “Finally” by Gary Chapman. Amy Grant is Gary’s ex-wife. So there’s a connection there.

I suspect (I don’t know because I don’t think I will know for sure until I am on the other side of death), that I was taught some errant things about heaven back in the 80s when I first heard this song. I don’t believe some of the rapture/tribulation theology I believed back then. So when I sat down to hear this song this morning in full, I wondered if I would be disappointed in what it said. I was relieved to know it fits into more my current thoughts on New Earth and “the not yet.”

So back to the song that apparently Pam Mark Hall wrote. With songs like this, I like to think about the writer sitting somewhere and expressing these feelings. In this case, feeling the growth of her spiritual life and development in the fruits of the Spirit, but also feeling the distance that still exists between her and the woman she wishes she could be under you. I’ve felt that a lot. I know I’m not the man I was 30, 15, 5, or even one year ago. I am slowly being formed. But if there is a spectrum of 1 to 100 on human holiness, with Jesus being 100, I have maybe moved from an 8 to a 15 (even that feels too generous). There is a long way to go between me and the “not yet.” I think the bridge to the song is my favorite part:

But I’m caught in between
The now and the not yet;
Sometimes it seems like
Forever and ever,
That I’ve been reaching to be
All that I am,
But I’m only a few steps nearer,
Yet I’m nearer….

Father, today is another day. And if I am at a 15, I have choices. I could go back to 8, or I could try to reach for 15.000001. I might only get a step nearer, yet I would be nearer. So love through me. Live through me. Speak through me. I give you glory for everything, oh, my God. Thank you for guiding me in this life. I celebrate this journey with you.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 27, 2024 in Hymns and Songs

 

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“Finally” by Gary Chapman

26 Oct

“Finally” by Gary Chapman

I wish my mind wouldn’t argue with my heart
It splits the day apart
Into time well spent and time just thrown away
I wish my heart would please make up my mind
I’m wasting so much time
Gotta catch a glimpse of how it’s gonna be

When finally I look inside Your eyes and see
Reflections of Yourself in me
The way You always said it would be
When finally, I’m loving You like You love me
It happened oh, so easily
I looked at You and it came to me finally

The day to day just keeps on spinning round
But this one thing I have found
I can close my eyes and be there in Your arms
You take me to a place that’s safe and warm
You’re my harbor in the storm
Wanna lose myself in being there with You

When finally I look inside Your eyes and see
Reflections of Yourself in me
The way You always said it would be
When finally, I’m loving You like You love me
It happened oh, so easily
I looked at You and it came to me finally

Oh, when finally I look inside Your eyes and see
Reflections of Yourself in me
The way You always said it would be
When finally, I’m loving You like You love me
It happened oh, so easily
I looked at You and the love in Your heart cut right through to me
And my eyes can see finally

Source: LyricFind

Dear God, sometimes I wake up with a song in my head and I have no idea where it came from. This one from this morning, “Finally” by Gary Chapman, is a deep cut. Of course, I heard it when I was a kid sung by T.G. Sheppard. Years later, however, I worked for a Christian music publisher called Word that distributed the song’s writer, Gary Chapman, and found this song on his first album, Everyday Man. It was then I realized it was one of those could be a song about love/could be a song about God songs that were pretty prevalent in Christian music in the 80s and 90s. So I heard it in a different way.

With that said, since I woke up with it in my head this morning, and even though I am sure I’ve probably prayed through this song before, I thought I would spend some time with again this morning.

I wish my mind wouldn’t argue with my heart
It splits the day apart
Into time well spent and time just thrown away
I wish my heart would please make up my mind
I’m wasting so much time
Gotta catch a glimpse of how it’s gonna be

Wasting time. Oh, how much time do I waste a day? Each day? Every day?!? It’s a lot. It can be so much easier to settle into watching something on a screen that it is to do something constructive that requires brain power, physical power, and conscious effort. It’s easier to just “veg.” I listened to the Russell Moore Podcast this week. It was an interview with Carlos Whittaker about his technology detoxing experience. He said his phone told him he was spending 7 hours per day on the phone. 49 hours per week. 2,500 hours per year. A full-time 40-hour per week job is 2,080 hours, so it was a lot. Therefore, he decided to try something different. He went to a monastery and spent either 21 or 23 hours per day in silence for 9 weeks. Then he went and hung out with the Amish. To some extent he rediscovered himself. Going back to the 1950s, I would say the introduction of screens into our lives has definitely shaped who we are as humans. I spent so much time watching TV as a kid. And while I don’t watch my actual living room television much anymore except for live sports, the little screen that fits in my hand has successfully replaced it effectively.

I say all of that because, even though Chapman wrote this in 1982 (I think I heard him say that in an interview), before there were cell phones and even very many personal computers, he was still finding plenty of things that would take him away from you. People always have throughout the centuries. We don’t need cell phones and the Internet to lure us away. As the hymnist wrote in “Come Thou Fount,” “Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love.” It’s who we are.

Back at Lent I purposed in my heart that I was going to make this time praying to you a priority in my life. I would spend some time every day journaling my a prayer to you. Now, I’ve decided it is part of what I must do to function. I need you. Because when I show up here I am able to see you and a reflection of you in me. I hear from your Holy Spirit. I am convicted of sin. I am inspired and instructed by the Holy Scripture you left for me to use to help me find you. And the reason I know you are a loving God is because the closer I get to you the more loving I become. The reason I know you are forgiving is because the closer I get to you the more forgiving I become.

Father, well, I’m not even sure how to pray about this. According to Whittaker, even the Amish are seeing technology like computer and flip phones enter their world because they have to use them to conduct business with the outside world. And if I think about getting a flip phone I start to wonder about texting and the apps I use to even conduct business during the day. So help me find my way in all of this. Help me glorify you in my life. Help me to not miss the opportunities you have for me to love and serve you and love and serve others.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 26, 2024 in Hymns and Songs

 

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“The Sound of Silence” by Disturbed

07 Oct

“The Sound of Silence” by Disturbed

Hello darkness, my old friend
I’ve come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams, I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
‘Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light, I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never shared
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

“Fools” said I, “You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you”
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
Then the sign said, “The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
In tenement halls”
And whispered in the sound of silence

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Paul Simon

Dear God, this is a song my family had on an 8-track tape when I was a kid. I don’t know how many times I heard it, but never heard it. Hearing without listening? Paul Simon wrote it, but frankly, his and Art Garfunkel‘s delivery didn’t do it justice compared to what Disturbed did with it here. The Simon and Garfunkel version was almost too lovely. And maybe there is some poetry in the loveliness portraying such emptiness, but I am not that perceptive. I need something to bang me over the head for me to ay attention. Disturbed did that here.

And I am sure I am missing some interpretation of this song. I just read through the lyrics slowly, and I had some thoughts on what it could mean or what Simon might have been referring to. For me it’s about loneliness. There is a lot of loneliness in this song. The winger is lonely. the people are lonely. And this was written over 50 years ago. I think research shows that, as a society, we have only gotten lonelier and more isolated. The singer was right in the second to last stanza: “Fool, you do not know. Silence like a cancer grows.”

Community is so important. I was with a man Saturday who was talking about his wife’s enjoyment of the graveyard shift at work because she is an introvert. He is a retired pastor, and she probably developed a great need for personal space after having felt like living in a fishbowl for so many years. But I wonder over the last 15-20 years if the percentage of people who self-identify as an extrovert has dropped as we sink further and further into our silos.

So, what am I doing to make sure I am in community? Am I isolated? Am I known? Do I know others, for their sake and for mine? It’s important. We need each other. Even the Bible recognizes this as it tells the story in Genesis 2:18 that you decided it wasn’t good that Adam was alone. And animals weren’t enough. He needed another person. As a mate, he needed a complementary person who would fill the gaps in him. But he ultimately needed others as well. He needed to be a dad. I’m sure he eventually had friends. And it was probably friends that helped him and Even through the tragedy with Cain and Abel. I’m going down a rabbit hole here, but you get my point. You know we need each other, but I think our insecurity and tendency to worship ourselves and make our need for certainty our idol tends to drive us away from others who will rub up against us, wear off our rough edges, and help us to live out the two great commandments that are for our benefit: to love you and love others.

Father, I am not only in community for myself. I’m in community for the others in that community as well. Make me a good member of that community. Help me to be vulnerable. Help me to speak when I talk. Help me to listen when I hear. Use those around me to form me, and use me in the lives of others as you see fit. That includes my wife, my children, my family, and others around me. Don’t let anything be wasted, Holy Spirit. Give me ears to hear and listen. Give me eyes to see and perceive. Give me a voice that is considered and directed by you.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 7, 2024 in Hymns and Songs

 

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“Come to the Table” by Michael Card

17 Sep

Come to the table and savor the sight
The wine and the bread that was broken
And all have been welcomed to come if they might
Accept as their own these two tokens

The bread is His body, the wine is the blood
And the one who provides them is true
He freely offers, we freely receive
To accept and believe Him is all we must do

Come to the table and taste of the glory
And savor the sorrow, He’s dying tomorrow
The hand that is breaking the bread
Soon will be broken

And here at the table, sit those who have loved You
One is a traitor and one will deny
But He’s lived His life for them all
And for all be crucified

Come to the table He’s prepared for you
The bread of forgiveness, the wine of release
Come to the table and sit down beside Him
The Savior wants you to join in the feast

Come to the table and see in His eyes
The love that the Father has spoken
And know you are welcome, whatever your crime
Though every commandment you’ve broken

For He’s come to love you and not to condemn
And He offers a pardon of peace
If you’ll come to the table, you’ll feel in your heart
The greatest forgiveness, the greatest release

Come to the table and taste of the glory
And savor the sorrow, He’s dying tomorrow
The hand that is breaking the bread
Soon will be broken

And here at the table, sit those who have loved You
One is a traitor and one will deny
But He’s lived his life for them all
And for all be crucified

Come to the table He’s prepared for you
The bread of forgiveness, the wine of release
Come to the table and sit down beside Him
The Savior wants you to join in the feast

Come to the table He’s prepared for you
The bread of forgiveness, the wine of release
Come to the table and sit down beside Him
The Savior wants you to join in the feast

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Michael Card / Niles A. Borop III

Dear God, I’ve kind of had the “glums” over the last day or so, and I don’t have a great reason for it outside of my normal sorrows. So, as I sat down this morning I wondered what I needed to do in this time with you to really tap into you. The answer that came back to me was “worship.” I need a song that I would love to have running around my head all day. One that will draw me to you. One that will remind me of your love and forgiveness. One that I can carry to others.

I then took my phone and started to roll through the songs on my Christian play list, and while there were a lot that would fit the bill, I came across this one from Michael Card. It’s catchy from a tune standpoint. It’s upbeat. And it speaks truth. It reminds me of Jesus’s love, teaching, sacrifice, and power.

As I sit here and think about the Last Supper, I cannot help but think again about the controversial Olympic sketch during the opening ceremony that appeared to mock this precious event. And when I think of this, I think of my disappointment in the church’s response to this event. And maybe I’m wrong, but why oh why didn’t the church come out and love the people who did that? Just like me, those people need your love. They need to be reminded that this event was as much out of your love for them as it was for me. Even if they were mocking, it was a reminder of the power of that moment–your last meal with your disciples before you gave everything for all of us. It was a moment that was on the precipice of history’s pivotal moment. “Savor the sorrow. He’s dying tomorrow.”

Father, thank you for loving me. Thank you for this sacrifice. Please help me to be sensitive to every person I meet today. I’ll come across staff, volunteers, patients, people from outside agencies, and friends. Not to mention my wife. Help me to carry you with me and to them today. Give me the words to speak in every situation that will minister to them. For your glory, Lord. My utmost for your highest.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on September 17, 2024 in Hymns and Songs

 

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Toxic or Not? Forrest and Jenny from Forrest Gump

12 Sep

Dear God, I finished watching this video as I got ready for work this morning, and it kind of fit in with the theme of the week for me: How do we understand we are loved regardless of what we bring to the table?

Of course, I talked already this week about Fr. Mike Schmitz’s homily on “Nothing to Offer” and how we make a mistake when we avoid you when we have nothing to offer and when we come to you trying to justify our presence before you by all of the good things we’ve tried to do. No, the way to come before you is just by humbly accepting your grace.

This made me think of Jenny and Forrest as they discussed them in the Cinema Therapy video above because it really didn’t matter what Jenny brought to Forrest. She could bring her best. She could bring her worst. She could bring her physically abusive boyfriend. She could reject him. She could abandon him or ignore him. She could try to seduce him in her college dorm room. It didn’t matter. The good. The bad. He just loved her with a very simple love. He wanted to be there to protect her as much as she would let him protect her. He wanted to provide for her as much as she would let him provide for her.

I can’t help but wonder, as I sit here this morning, if this isn’t at least a glimpse of you with us. We keep orbiting you in an oblong path. Sometimes we get a little closer and enter into your gravitational pull. Sometimes we move away from you and spin out on our own. Kind of like Jenny did with Forrest. But there is a need in us that, once we’ve been introduced to you, draws us back to you time and again. And so, like Jenny, we try to bring you things. Maybe a nice pair of Nikes (in Jenny’s case). Maybe giving money to a nonprofit (in my case). And you are pleased with that like Forrest was pleased with the Nikes, but it’s not why you’re there. It’s not why you love us. You just love us because we are here.

I had a difficult, scary man in my office this week who has been arrested many, many times. He has really been on my heart this week. How do I introduce him to your love for him in a way that keeps my coworkers safe? Show me what to do in that relationship.

Last night, coworker sent me a Casting Crowns song that goes with all of this. It’s called “All Because of Mercy.”

I’ll close by praying some of the lyrics of this song: 

I could stand here and try to tell you
I found my way here on my own
Brought to life this heart of stone
Made up my own mind to change my own life
Workin' my own way to good, 
As if anybody could

But the truth is, I've been broken
Since my very first breath
And the truth is, I've been wanderin' 
Since my very first step

I know the only reason 
I can stand here unashamed
It's not because I'm worthy
It's all because of mercy
There's no way I could earn it
Praise God, my dept is paid

It's not because I'm worthy
It's all because of mercy
I still remember the day He found me
Six feet under all my cshame
I heard Him call me out by name
Hallelujah, the cross has spoken
Jesus, my Savior, bled and died
To bring this dead man back to life

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on September 12, 2024 in Hymns and Songs, Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Reactions to Losing

08 Sep

Dear God, I have a weird little habit. I love college football (that’s not the weird part), but one of my favorite things to do the day after the games is go to the postgame press conferences for the coaches who lost to see what they have to say. So for yesterday’s games, I have checked out Deion Sanders (Colorado) and Joey McGuire (Texas Tech), and then I watched some reactions from a couple of people who are Notre Dame fans. Why do I do that? Why am I interested in seeing someone 1.) in pain and 2.) trying to explain that pain or their perspective on why the loss happened verbally?

I wonder if it is a “misery loves company” situation. Do I consider myself a miserable person? No. And I’m not relishing Joey McGuire’s or Deion’s pain. I like both of them. But there seems to be this communal reaction to pain that helps if it is shared by others. For the sorrows in my life, when I talk about them with others, I find that it helps them and it helps me. It makes me more human and flawed in their eyes which is usually a good thing so that people won’t think more of me than they should and feel like they have to live up to a “perfect” life they perceive me to have.

There is a line from the first season of Ted Lasso after they entire team has been through a tough loss. He says, “I promise you there is something worse out there than being sad. And that is being alone and being sad.” [Note to anyone reading: If you click that link it will be a spoiler if you haven’t seen the show]. While this scene is playing, they are running a song under it called, “You’ll never walk alone.”

“You’ll Never Walk Alone”

When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don’t be afraid of the dark

At the end of a storm
There’s a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark

Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
For your dreams be tossed and blown

Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you’ll never walk alone

You’ll never walk alone

Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you’ll never walk alone

You’ll never walk alone

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Oscar Hammerstein II / Richard Rodgers

Father, I go through setbacks, but I don’t walk alone. First, I have a God who has literally experienced any pain I can experience through his own existence and through the human life he lived 2,000 years ago. Then you’ve given me a wife, parents, siblings, and friends to walk with. Yes, I have pain. Yes, sometimes it hurts. But I am not walking alone, and for that, I am grateful.

I offer this thankful, worshipful prayer to you in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on September 8, 2024 in Hymns and Songs, Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Psalm 145:8-14

03 Sep


8 The Lord is merciful and compassionate,
    slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.
9 The Lord is good to everyone.
    He showers compassion on all his creation.
10 All of your works will thank you, Lord,
    and your faithful followers will praise you.
11 They will speak of the glory of your kingdom;
    they will give examples of your power.
12 They will tell about your mighty deeds
    and about the majesty and glory of your reign.
13 For your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom.
    You rule throughout all generations.

The Lord always keeps his promises;
    he is gracious in all he does.
14 The Lord helps the fallen
    and lifts those bent beneath their loads.

Psalm 145:8-14

Dear God, the great thing about things like this being put to song is that they stick with us more that way. For example, I know 1 John 4:7-8 because of a song I learned when I was nine years old. In this case, as soon as I read this passage this morning I thought of a song I learned over 20 years ago from the church I attended back then. I was actually able to find it on YouTube this morning. “Lord, you are gracious. You are slow to anger. Abounding in love, you are good to all.”

What a great way to pray this morning. Just worship. Lord, you are gracious. You are slow to anger. Abounding in love, you are good to all. Lord, you are gracious. You are slow to anger. Abounding in love, you are good to all. Just over and over again. I embrace those words. I appreciate those words. I wonder what that psalm sounded like when sung in the original Hebrew. The tune. How the words sounded. What exactly they said.

In the theory of psalms of orientation, disorientation, and reorientation (Walter Brueggemann), this one is definitely a psalm of orientation. This is a psalm sung by a person who is on solid footing. But then, does it have to be? Can this be a psalm of disorientation? I don’t think I’m mature enough for it to be for me, but wouldn’t it be great if I were able to get to the point that, in the middle of extreme disorientation, I was able to pray and sing these words. Lord, you are gracious. You are slow to anger. Abounding in love, you are good to all.

Father, teach me to worship you fully. Oooo, it scares me to pray those words. I’m so thick-headed sometimes that I’m afraid of what kind of breaking of my heart I would have to go through to learn that lesson completely. But I’ve given up my life. It is worth nothing to me. If only I may finish the race and complete the task you have given me. The task of testifying to your grace through Jesus (Acts 20:24).

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amens

 
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Posted by on September 3, 2024 in Hymns and Songs, Psalms

 

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“Curtains” by Ed Sheeran and “Staring at a Bird” by The Waiting

26 Aug

“Curtains” by Ed Sheeran

Can you pull the curtains, let me see the sunshine?
I think I’m done with my hidin’ place, and you found me anyway
It’s been forever, but I’m feelin’ alright
Tears dry and will leave no trace, and tomorrow’s another day

Hide and seek
I am somewhere closed away
You won’t believe
How long it’s been since we started the game
I can’t be seen
And you won’t find me today
I’ve not been
This low, but I’ll be okay

“Are you alright?” Maybe, don’t ask
‘Cause you know I never like to talk about that
Keep it inside, yeah, you say I always hold back
And I always wear long sleeves
Is it in your childhood? Somethin’ happen in your past?
Well, the sadness, yeah, I promise that it won’t last
And if I could, I would try to take it all back
There’s still more underneath and that’s when you say to me

“Can you pull the curtains, let me see the sunshine?
I think I’m done with my hidin’ place and you found me, anyway
It’s been forever, but I’m feelin’ alright
Tears dry and will leave no trace, and tomorrow’s another day”

Let me see the sunshine, shine, shine
Let me see the sunshine, shine, shine
Let me see the sunshine, shine, shine
Let me see the sunshine

Hide and seek
Count to ten and close your eyes
Try to breathe
See a message and don’t reply
Nice to meet
But in reality, say goodbye
Life can be
So beautiful if you try

“Are you okay?” Yeah, I guess so
But on some days, I feel like I’m trapped in a hole
But I keep quiet, so the ones around me don’t know
That the mountain feels so steep
And I’ll say that I’m here to help to carry the load
And the outside rays, they are good for the soul
So let’s step out of the dark, ’cause in here, it’s so cold
The day’s not out of reach and that’s when you say to me

“Can you pull the curtains, let me see the sunshine?
I think I’m done with my hidin’ place, and you found me anyway
It’s been forever, but I’m feelin’ alright
Tears dry and will leave no trace, and tomorrow’s another day”

Let me see the sunshine, shine, shine
Let me see the sunshine, shine, shine
Let me see the sunshine, shine, shine
Let me see the sunshine

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Ed Sheeran / Aaron Dessner

Dear God, I was listening to this song yesterday, and while it wasn’t a day I felt like hiding and just staying in bed, I could certainly relate to the feeling. I do get it from time to time. There are times when I just want to hide away. Thankfully, it doesn’t happen often, and when it does it doesn’t last too long–usually just several hours. I’m very grateful for that. I know some who struggle more frequently and for longer periods of time, and I know it is hard for them. And for the young, I fear that the combination of social media and videogames can only enhance this desire to lock yourself away and disengage from society.

As I listened to this song the second and third time, it reminded me of a song that was very important to me back in 2003 and 2005 when I was unemployed for a while. It was an explicitly Christian song called “Staring at a Bird” by The Waiting.

“Staring at a Bird” by The Waiting

I’m here staring at a bird in a tree
Lying still, only wishing he were me
‘Cause for a bird it’s not a crime
To try and satisfy his bird belly hunger
Or fly the blue belly sky

And from his bird’s eye view
He can pick and he can choose
He doesn’t have to grieve his spirit
No he doesn’t have to lose a moment’s joy there in his nest
No matter what his mess, and he can barrel out his chest
And he can fly away…

But I’m pinned down in my bed again
I don’t think I could fly (I wouldn’t try)
If I was a bird I would be content
To peck along the ground
‘Cause I’m pinned down again…

I’m here staring at a bird on a limb
Lying still, only wishing I was him
‘Cause I could use a haven,
A nest above my fate
Call it a rest from the chasing of me pillow and my plate

And for a bird it’s always right to love his appetite
He’s too dumb to know the struggle, to weak to know the fight
He can fly south when he gets cold, sing until he’s old
And on a whim, he can unfold his wings
And fly away

I’m here staring at a bird in the air
I wonder what I’d see if I looked down from there
I’d see a shattered temple, all it’s members in a sweat
Everyone’s been degraded, every sermon they forget

I’d see a man pulled from his bed by the same Hands of Love
That hung a cross around his neck
Just to remind him, remind him who he was…

So I guess the question I need to ask myself is how do I keep from falling into too many of these moments? I don’t think they are 100% avoidable. But I do think I need to stay away from cancerous things that can cause me anxiety such as news and too much discourse that focuses on political discussion or any kind of discussion designed to produce anxiety in me. I need to make sure I am feeding myself scripture and listening to teaching and discussions that cause my heart and mind to dwell on you. I need to be about seeking reconciliation in relationships and forgiving others who I feel have wronged me. I need to read things that inspire me to be who you need me to be for your plan and want me to be for my sake. I need to serve others, starting with my wife and family. I need to pray and spend contemplative time with you. I need to worship and remember where I am in the pecking order of life.

Father, I give you this day. I’m grateful that you have a life of joy for me. Help me to live that out and then invite others into being reconciled and joyous with you.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on August 26, 2024 in Hymns and Songs

 

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“Hard to Get” by Rich Mullins

25 Aug

“Hard to Get” by Rich Mullins

You who live in heaven
Hear the prayers of those of us who live on earth?
Who are afraid of being left by those we love
Who get hardened in the hurt
Do you remember when You lived down here?
Where we all scrape
To find the faith to ask the daily bread
Did You forget about us
After You had flown away?
Well, I memorized every word You said

Still I’m so scared, I’m holding my breath
While You’re up there just playing hard to get

You who live in radiance
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in skin?
We have a love that’s not as patient as Yours was
But still we do love now and then
Did You ever know loneliness?
You ever know need?
You remember just how long a night can get?
When You are barely holdin’ on
And Your friends fall asleep
Who don’t see the blood that’s runnin’ in Your sweat

Will those who mourn be left uncomforted
While You’re up there just playin’ hard to get?

And I know You bore our sorrows
And I know You feel our pain
And I know that it would not hurt any less
Even if it could be explained
And I know that I am only lashing out
At the One who loves me most
And after I have figured this, somehow
What I really need to know is if

You who live in eternity
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in time?
We can’t see what’s ahead and we cannot get free from what we’ve left behind
I’m reeling from these voices that keep screamin’ in my ears
All these words of shame and doubt, blame and regret
I can’t see how You’re leading me
Unless You’ve led me here
To where I’m lost enough to let myself be led

And so You’ve been here all along, I guess
It’s just Your ways and You are just plain hard to get

Dear God, yesterday, I prayed that you would direct my day and I would give it over to you. For the most part, that went well. One decision I made was to listen to worship music during my workout instead of YouTube videos on car reviews or whatever. I started with Rich Mullins’s The Jesus Record and this was the first song that came up. It was the last verse that really caught my attention:

You who live in eternity
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in time?
We can’t see what’s ahead and we cannot get free from what we’ve left behind
I’m reeling from these voices that keep screamin’ in my ears
All these words of shame and doubt, blame and regret
I can’t see how You’re leading me
Unless You’ve led me here
To where I’m lost enough to let myself be led

I think the exact part that really struck me was when he says, “We can’t see what’s ahead and we cannot get free from what we’ve left behind.” Living in the past and waiting on the future is so fruitless. And maybe I’m wrong about this approach, but I think that is why I just simply don’t care about “End Times” theology. I simply don’t see how it impacts who I am today.

That’s not to say I don’t get distracted by or anxious about the future. I certainly do. I worry about the idols I’ve developed to replace my faith in you and whether they will hold out. Will enough money continue to come in at work to pay my salary? Will my wife’s and my health continue to be good? What will my relationships with my children or other family members be like tomorrow? Who will win the elections in November in the United States and how afraid should I be of this person or that person winning? There are so many things that can distract me about the future, but they are mainly things that I allow to be idols that I think will bring me peace and certainty.

Then there’s the past. Past hurts. Traumas. Abandonments. It’s rarely the good things about the past that drive me and motivate me to act now. It’s often the negative things that haunt me.

Father, I can’t see what’s ahead and I won’t let go of what’s been left behind. I’m reeling from these voices that keep screaming in my ears. All these words of shame and doubt, blame and regret. I can’t see how you’re leading me unless you’ve led me here. To where I’m lost enough to let myself be led. That’s brilliant writing on Rich’s part, and I offer those words to you as my words this morning. I am rejecting my idols of self-pity, money, political power, health, love from others, etc. There are parts about my current situation that are amazing and bountiful. Thank you for those. There are other parts that bring me great sorrow. Thank you for those as well. You have brought me here, to a place where I am lost enough to let you lead me. Holy Spirit, please lead me again today.

I offer this to you in Jesus and with the Holy Spirit, Father,

Amen

 
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Posted by on August 25, 2024 in Hymns and Songs

 

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1 John 1:5-10 / “In the Light” by dc Talk

20 Jul

5 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6 If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.

1 John 1:5-10

Dear God, I came across this passage this morning, and it made me think of the song by dc Talk (written by Charlie Peacock), “In the Light.” Humility before you. Introspection before you. Repenting before you. Acknowledging exactly who I am before you. All of it can be very cathartic. Yes, I am sinful. Yes, I fall and fail. Yes, I do things that don’t hurt you as much as you get frustrated because they hurt me or those I love around me. The more I am in your light the more I am free.

I was texting with a friend yesterday who is reading through my series of these prayer journals I did on fathers of the Bible. One of his comments to me is that I am kind of hard on myself. I replied that when I start praying before you and bringing myself into relationship with you then some of this stuff starts pouring out. At the same time, I am experiencing your forgiveness as I put it into the light, and it is actually quite, well, as I said before, cathartic.

Some of the lines of this song I love:

I keep trying to find a light on my own apart from you — What foolishness!

What’s going on inside of me? I despise my own behavior! — Echoes of Paul in Romans 7:15-20.

Every attempt on my behalf has failed to bring this sickness under control — Only you, Jesus. Only you.

Father, I have the opportunity today to live in the light. Lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from evil. I have experienced evil this week. I have done evil this week. I am sorry. Help me to be totally in your light today and to then carry that light to others.

I offer this to you in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on July 20, 2024 in 1 John, Hymns and Songs

 

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