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Category Archives: Matthew

Mothers of the Bible — Mary, the Mother of Jesus (Part 15)

Then some of the scribes and Pharisees said to him, “Teacher, we want to see a sign from you.” He answered them, “An evil and adulterous generation demands a sign, but no sign will be given to it except the sign of the prophet Jonah. For as Jonah was in the belly of the huge fish three days and three nights, so the Son of Man will be in the heart of the earth three days and three nights. The men of Nineveh will stand up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it, because they repented at Jonah’s preaching; and look—something greater than Jonah is here. The queen of the south will rise up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it, because she came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon; and look—something greater than Solomon is here. “When an unclean spirit comes out of a person, it roams through waterless places looking for rest but doesn’t find any. Then it says, ‘I’ll go back to my house that I came from.’ Returning, it finds the house vacant, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and settle down there. As a result, that person’s last condition is worse than the first. That’s how it will also be with this evil generation.” While he was still speaking with the crowds, his mother and brothers were standing outside wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, “Look, your mother and your brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.” He replied to the one who was speaking to him, “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” Stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”
Matthew 12:38-50

Dear God, I wish I had done Part 14 and Part 15 in reverse order. I missed this story in chapter 12 before I did the story of Jesus in the synagogue from chapter 13. In reading this now, the order of the stories is that Mary and Jesus’s brothers were dissed here by Jesus, then he tells a bunch of parables by the sea, and then he goes into the synagogue and is rejected (and indicates his family has rejected him as well).

What a strange time this must have been for Mary. She apparently had a lot of children, both boys and girls. I wonder how much time she spent trying to calm the other children down as they dealt with Jesus as their brother. It had to have been hard for them, and it added an underappreciated layer of complexity to Mary’s life as a mother. Maybe it would have been easier for her to figure out how to be a mother to Jesus as an adult if he had been her only, but she had some other children to worry about as well. She was a mother to all of them. And I’m sure sometimes she did it right by standing up to them and telling them they were wrong about Jesus, and sometimes she did it wrong and gave into their perspective of him.

Being a parent, even of adult children, is so complicated. It’s true that our job to parent them is never quite over. As long as we are alive, there is a role for us to play, even if it is only to show them love. Then there are the decisions we have to make regarding whether to help them or not help them in a given situation. I hate to see them suffer, but I also don’t want to get in the way of how you might be working in their life through an obstacle that is in front of them. If I remove that obstacle, have I gotten in your way?

Father, thank you that our forefathers and foremothers we just people too. Thank you that you have given us examples of flawed people who were as lost about parenting as I feel sometimes. I would learn nothing if they were perfect, but none of them are. Now, please help my wife and me to parent our own children. Counsel us through each other and others. Raise up people in our children’s lives whom they can hear and will speak with your voice. Heal their wounds. Heal our wounds. And, in the end, be glorified in all of our lives.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
 

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Mothers of the Bible — Mary, the Mother of Jesus (Part 14)

When Jesus had finished these parables, he left there. He went to his hometown and began to teach them in their synagogue, so that they were astonished and said, “Where did this man get this wisdom and these miraculous powers? Isn’t this the carpenter’s son? Isn’t his mother called Mary, and his brothers James, Joseph, Simon, and Judas? And his sisters, aren’t they all with us? So where does he get all these things?” And they were offended by him. Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and in his household.” And he did not do many miracles there because of their unbelief.
Matthew 13:53-58

This must have been such a confusing time for Jesus’s family and everyone who knew him growing up. It certainly seems that he was not only rejected at the synagogue, but also at home because he said, “A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and in his household.” I wonder just how much grief he caught from everyone, including his family. And what were Mary’s thoughts regarding all of this? Had she lost sight of what she had heard from the angel 30 years before? Had the years worn her down a bit? Maybe she built up in her mind what her son’s life would be and she felt like it just wasn’t working out like it was supposed to. Maybe his siblings were complaining to her about him and she was giving into the pressure from them. Either way, it is apparent that Jesus was not feeling affirmed and supported.

This makes me think back to times when 1.) I didn’t have my wife around to help temper my reactions to my children’s behavior and 2.) one of the children would lobby me about how I should feel about the other and I would let their perspective unfairly influence my own. Number 1 is especially important because sometimes we definitely need that other parent to help guide us through frustrating times with our children when my emotions get the better of my judgment. I wonder how these stories might have been different if Joseph had still been around. I wonder how Joseph would have handled 30-year-old Jesus.

Father, thank you for giving me a co-parent. Thank you for giving me a wise woman to help me through those times when my emotions overrode my logic. I know there were times when I still failed my children, but the incidences are much fewer because I had a great co-parent. And I am sorry for when I failed to give my children what you needed them to have from me. I’m sorry for impatience and also for, at times, failing to give them what you needed them to have from me. I don’t have tons and tons of regrets, but I certainly have a few. Please guide all of us as we continue to mature in you.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
 

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Mothers of the Bible — Mary, the Mother of Jesus (Part 10)

After Herod died, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt, saying, “Get up, take the child and his mother, and go to the land of Israel, because those who intended to kill the child are dead.” So he got up, took the child and his mother, and entered the land of Israel. But when he heard that Archelaus was ruling over Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. And being warned in a dream, he withdrew to the region of Galilee. Then he went and settled in a town called Nazareth to fulfill what was spoken through the prophets, that he would be called a Nazarene.
Matthew 2:19-23

Dear God, was this the dream Mary had been waiting for? Was she excited about going home or nervous? Probably both. I’m sure she was glad to get back to Israel but nervous that 1.) she would have to reckon with family and friends who might judge for her having a child older than her marriage and 2.) being back in the land where her son might be in danger. But still, she was going home.

I remember back in 2005 when we were trying to decide what to do about my work. The kids were nine and six years old, and we lived in Waco, Texas. I was up for jobs in Waco, Tyler, and Grand Rapids. I really wanted that Grand Rapids job. I remember wondering at the time what each path held for my children. What friends would they have in each city? Church experience? In some ways, I thought more about them than I thought about myself–at least, that’s how I remember it. How would this impact them? As it turned out, our path surprisingly saw us move closer to both my wife’s and my families of origin. I went from being almost 200 miles from my parents to 45 miles, and my wife when from being a difficult 100 miles to an easier 80 miles. But even with the benefit of hindsight, I couldn’t tell you if this was the right path for our children or not. Fifteen years later, it seems to have been the right path for me. I guess what I’ve done is come to a place where I have simply turned their paths over to you and trusted that you are leading them exactly where you need them to be regardless of whether or not I can see your plan with my own eyes.

Father, I’m sure there was a lot on Mary’s mind as they traveled back to Israel. At least, I suppose, they got some specific instructions from the angel on where to go. I hope that was a comfort to her and Joseph. I’m grateful for how you’ve comforted me over the years too. Parenting is hard, and worrying about your children is hard. But being in your presence brings me peace. Thank you for your presence.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 1, 2020 in Matthew, Mothers of the Bible

 

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Mothers of the Bible — Mary, Mother of Jesus (Part 9)

After they were gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, “Get up! Take the child and his mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I tell you. For Herod is about to search for the child to kill him.” So he got up, took the child and his mother during the night, and escaped to Egypt. He stayed there until Herod’s death, so that what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet might be fulfilled: Out of Egypt I called my Son.
Matthew 2:13-15

Dear God, other than Simeon’s prophecy at the temple, I think this might be Mary’s first inkling that there could be scary parts of being Jesus’s mother. What was that conversation between her and Joseph like?

Joseph: Mary! Mary, wake up!

Mary: What? What is it?

Joseph: We have to go.

Mary: What do you mean, “We have to go”? Go where?

Joseph: Egypt.

Mary: Egypt?!? What are you talking about? Can’t we talking about this in the morning?

Joseph: No. The angel said we have to go immediately.

Mary: You saw an angel?

Joseph: Yes, the angel came to me like he did before and told me, “Get up! Take the child and his mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I tell you. For Herod is about to search for the child to kill him.”

Mary: What?!? Are you sure that’s what he said?

Joseph: As sure as I was when he visited me last time and told me to marry you.

Mary: Okay, let’s go!

What was that trip like? Was it frantic? Did they finance it with the gold from the wise men? I wonder what plans they had for their lives that they now had to scrap to follow the angel’s instructions. Had she made friends? Had he hit his stride with his work? Were they planning on raising Jesus in Bethlehem?

Your call to them to raise Jesus was a call to a difficult life. I like to joke that I think Noah got one of the worst deals in the Bible because of the work he had to go through and it would probably have been easier to just die in the flood, but Mary and Joseph had some real obstacles of their own. It feels like their lives were all about sacrificing to fulfill this call.

Then they probably heard about this after they arrived in Egypt:

Herod was furious when he realized that the wise men had outwitted him. He sent soldiers to kill all the boys in and around Bethlehem who were two years old and under, based on the wise men’s report of the star’s first appearance.
Matthew 2:16

Survivors remorse? Guilt over their son’s existence having incited Herod into murdering those children? The anguish on behalf of all of those parents? Relief that they were safe in Egypt? I’m sure Mary had all of these things. I wonder how this whole event changed how protective she was of Jesus for the rest of his life.

Father, parenting can be scary. You can call us to sacrifice everything for the good of our children. Even when they are adults, their good can outweigh our own. And as we age into the end of our years, we need to consider our our own ending lives will impact them and die to ourselves for their benefit. So show me at any given moment what you are calling me to do for my children. Give me great discernment between what you need them to have from me and what you don’t need them to have from me. And everything you do for them or for me, make it something that is really for you and your glory, whatever it might cost me (and help me to be willing and ready to live up to those last words I just prayed).

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
 

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Mothers of the Bible — Mary, Mother of Jesus (Part 8)

After this interview the wise men went their way. And the star they had seen in the east guided them to Bethlehem. It went ahead of them and stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were filled with joy! They entered the house and saw the child with his mother, Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasure chests and gave him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.
Matthew 2:9-11

Dear God, when I read this story this morning I asked myself, “What kind of a day has it been?” Aaron Sorkin has used that as an episode title for at least two of his TV series that he wrote. Every day is filled with so much, and we miss most of it. But this day for Mary must have been amazing. We aren’t sure how old Jesus is here, but it’s obviously been a little while because they are now in a house. That tells me that they had established their lives in Bethlehem at that point. They had either figured out a way to get their own house or they were living with someone else. Either way, they were there set up.

I’m sure the day started like any other day. She fed and changed Jesus. She kissed Joseph goodbye as he went to work. Who knows what she was going through that day. Maybe they were trying to figure out how to pay for some things. Then a knock at the door and there are some men there with gifts. They were there to worship her baby and brings gifts to him. What a surreal moment for her. Maybe even an encouragement. I’ve seen my wife go through the doldrums of those first few months of having a new baby. Even the first couple of years. It can be hard. But then you sent her these guys. And I’ve wondered for several years now if they weren’t able to use these gifts to finance their trip to Egypt. It makes sense–especially the gold. I think you were providing for them when they had no idea what was around the corner.

Father, I love the idea that Mary and Joseph were just a couple of regular parents facing the psychological, mental, physical and spiritual challenges that all of us face. You had them on a need-to-know basis, just like you have me and the rest of us. In their case, they needed to be reassured that they had not been mistaken when they heard Gabriel’s messages. These were all events that would carry them through from a mental, spiritual, and psychological standpoint. Please help me to recognize when you are doing the same for me. And thank you for all that you are doing.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
 

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Fathers of the Bible — Joseph, Jesus’s Earthly Father (Part 7)

After Herod died, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt, saying, “Get up, take the child and his mother, and go to the land of Israel, because those who intended to kill the child are dead.” So he got up, took the child and his mother, and entered the land of Israel. But when he heard that Archelaus was ruling over Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. And being warned in a dream, he withdrew to the region of Galilee. Then he went and settled in a town called Nazareth to fulfill what was spoken through the prophets, that he would be called a Nazarene.
Matthew 2:19-23

Dear God, I remember when my children were in grade school and I was unemployed. As. I prayed about job opportunities and what you had for us, one of the things that always stuck with me was where you wanted them. Where did. you want them to grow up, be in school, go to church, and make friends. They were as much a part of the decision as my wife and I were. And I’ll confess that, over the years, after we moved to this small town when they were in the fourth and first grades, I’ve wondered at times whether or not we made the right move. Was coming here what was best for them?

I finally got to a place where I just simply put my faith in you and decided that you would have closed the door or guided me in a different direction if this isn’t where you wanted all four of us. The path hasn’t been straight and there are a lot of circumstances in their being raised here that concern me. But did they need those experiences to develop something in them that I cannot see? Even if something looks wrong, is it exactly right? That’s where I putting my money through my faith in you. I’m betting that things have worked the way you ordained because 1.) I prayed to you that your will would be done in all of our lives over and over again and 2.) you will guide us all into your plan.

I say all of that because I see Joseph having to make a lot of decisions. In this passage he gets his third and fourth angel visits (1. Take Mary. 2.) Go to Egypt. 3.) Go back to Israel. 4.) Go to Galilee.) so at least he had some affirmation he was doing the right thing (although I still have to wonder how much doubt he still might have had with these visits coming in the form of dreams. But all of this–all of this—was for Jesus. This wasn’t about Mary. It wasn’t about himself. He did it all to keep Jesus safe. I wonder how much of this Jesus knew and how old he was when he knew it. I wonder how you used these years in Egypt to form Jesus’ s love for Gentiles and for the poor. A love for foreigners and those who feel out of place. A love for the lonely and the friendless because he had to make new friends at least a couple of times.

Father, thank you for the joy of learning to make decisions for the good of someone else (our children) even though it will cost us something. In this case, it cost Joseph convenience, reputation, momentum in starting/stopping/starting/stopping/starting his business, etc. But he did it for you. He did it for this boy. He did it for my Messiah. I hope I am man enough to make similar decisions.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
 

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Fathers of the Bible — Joseph, Jesus’s Earthly Father (Part 6)

After Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of King Herod, wise men from the east arrived in Jerusalem, saying, “Where is he who has been born king of the Jews? For we saw his star at its rising and have come to worship him.” When King Herod heard this, he was deeply disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him. So he assembled all the chief priests and scribes of the people and asked them where the Christ would be born. “In Bethlehem of Judea,” they told him, “because this is what was written by the prophet: And you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah: Because out of you will come a ruler who will shepherd my people Israel. ” Then Herod secretly summoned the wise men and asked them the exact time the star appeared. He sent them to Bethlehem and said, “Go and search carefully for the child. When you find him, report back to me so that I too can go and worship him.” After hearing the king, they went on their way. And there it was—the star they had seen at its rising. It led them until it came and stopped above the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were overwhelmed with joy. Entering the house, they saw the child with Mary his mother, and falling to their knees, they worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts: gold, frankincense, and myrrh. And being warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their own country by another route. After they were gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, “Get up! Take the child and his mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I tell you. For Herod is about to search for the child to kill him.” So he got up, took the child and his mother during the night, and escaped to Egypt. He stayed there until Herod’s death, so that what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet might be fulfilled: Out of Egypt I called my Son.
Matthew 2:1-15

Dear God, here’s a question that I think isn’t asked enough, but has a simple answer. Why did you pick someone like Joseph? Why not a Person of prominence to be Jesus’s dad? Why not a religious leader? Why not a king? Why was the Messiah born to a carpenter and his fiancé?

I think there are actually several answers. The obvious ones are that those fathers would have been a bad influence on him. We’ve seen how the sons of kings turn out (well, maybe except for Jonathan). We’ve seen how the sons of religious leaders like Eli and Samuel turn out. We’ve seen how Abraham’s, Isaac’s and Jacob’s sons turned out. No, there is certainly no guarantee that someone will turn out well based on who their parents are. All of us are fallible.

In this case, I think you 1.) picked the parents based on their character, regardless of what their status was. But 2,) I think it actually did matter because a person of position would have had much more to lose than Joseph did I think it was probably easier to obey you to take Mary and then do all of this moving around because he didn’t have a lot of encumbrances from his position in life. He had less to lose by going ahead and taking her as his wife. He had less to lose by waking up and deciding to obey and take Mary and Jesus to Egypt.

To relate this to myself, I’ve often wondered how much I’ve allowed myself to not obey something you’ve called me to do because of the things I’ve achieved and/or acquired. I have a lovely wife. Do I want to drag her just anywhere? I have a nice home in a safe town. Am I ready to trade that security in for physical insecurity? I have a job that pays me a nice middle class wage. Am I ready to jeopardize that for uncertainty and a life of truly living on my daily bread? No, I would never have made a good father for Jesus for a lot of reasons, but the biggest one is that I wouldn’t have been prepared to pay the price that Joseph had to pay. I wonder what it would look like if I were ready to pay that kind of price now, and what would you possibly call me to do if I were willing to completely open myself up to any possibilities?

Father, even now, I want to pray and tell you that I am willing to go wherever you want me to go and do whatever you want me to do, but I’m scared. I’m scared what you might call me to do. But I’m going to say it anyway. Father, I am willing to go, I am willing to do whatever you are calling me to do. I’m just going to tell you that you are going to have to make it very obvious because my natural inclination will be to miss anything you call me to do that is out of my comfort zone. So make your plan for me John-proof. Help me to make each decision correctly in the moment and then have this decisions and choices add up to your will.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
 

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Fathers of the Bible — Joseph, Jesus’s Earthly Father (Part 3)

20 As he considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. “Joseph, son of David,” the angel said, “do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit. 21 And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.”

24 When Joseph woke up, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded and took Mary as his wife. 25 But he did not have sexual relations with her until her son was born. And Joseph named him Jesus.
Matthew 1:20-21,24-25

Dear God, I just love this guy. “As he considered this.” I checked. This is the New Living Translation, but I wanted to see what the other translations said here. The New American Standard says, “But when he had considered this…” The New International Version says, “But after he had considered this…” They all use the word “considered. I’m not sure why I’m so hung up on this word, but I feel like it helps paint a picture. This wasn’t an impetuous decision. He wasn’t allowing himself to just react out of emotion. He considered this. I’m sure he wrestled with it. As much as I’ve ever considered, contemplated, or wrestled with any decision, that’s what Joseph had done here. And his ultimate decision was to absorb the cost and still divorce her quietly. This was not a small, insecure, vindictive man. You gave Jesus as an earthly father a man who was able to love and still show mercy in the midst of hurt. I wish my kids had grown up with that.

So then the angel appears to him in a dream. I have to admit that I had a couple of dreams last night that were pretty vivid and clear. Maybe you were talking to me through them and maybe you weren’t. They were good and affirming dreams. But I don’t know that if they had gone the other way and told me I was doing the wrong thing that I would have woken up and changed the course of my life. No, I would say that Joseph probably really wanted to believe the angel and was ready to embrace the idea that this pain he had just “considered” wasn’t legitimate. He had no reason to feel this pain because Mary hadn’t done anything wrong. In fact, quite they opposite. She had done everything so right that you wanted her to be the earthly mother of your son.

We will get into this in future journals about Joseph, but this was not to be an easy path for him. It’s probably a good thing he didn’t know. If he (or she) had known what the future held for them they would probably have passed. I know I would have. That’s why you keep me so ignorant about the future. It’s better if I just don’t know.

Father, help me to spend more time in “consider” mode. Help me to stop and prayerfully consider my situations more. Speak to me through whatever means you think will reach me. Give me ears to hear, eyes to see, and courage to either act or not act. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. And please bless the path I am on for your glory. Lead me straight down that path. Don’t let me falter from it.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 

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Fathers of the Bible — Joseph, Jesus’s Earthly Father (Part 1)

This is a record of the ancestors of Jesus the Messiah, a descendant of David and of Abraham: Abraham was the father of Isaac. Isaac was the father of Jacob. Jacob was the father of Judah and his brothers. Judah was the father of Perez and Zerah (whose mother was Tamar). Perez was the father of Hezron. Hezron was the father of Ram. Ram was the father of Amminadab. Amminadab was the father of Nahshon. Nahshon was the father of Salmon. Salmon was the father of Boaz (whose mother was Rahab). Boaz was the father of Obed (whose mother was Ruth). Obed was the father of Jesse. Jesse was the father of King David. David was the father of Solomon (whose mother was Bathsheba, the widow of Uriah). Solomon was the father of Rehoboam. Rehoboam was the father of Abijah. Abijah was the father of Asa. Asa was the father of Jehoshaphat. Jehoshaphat was the father of Jehoram. Jehoram was the father of Uzziah. Uzziah was the father of Jotham. Jotham was the father of Ahaz. Ahaz was the father of Hezekiah. Hezekiah was the father of Manasseh. Manasseh was the father of Amon. Amon was the father of Josiah. Josiah was the father of Jehoiachin and his brothers (born at the time of the exile to Babylon). After the Babylonian exile: Jehoiachin was the father of Shealtiel. Shealtiel was the father of Zerubbabel. Zerubbabel was the father of Abiud. Abiud was the father of Eliakim. Eliakim was the father of Azor. Azor was the father of Zadok. Zadok was the father of Akim. Akim was the father of Eliud. Eliud was the father of Eleazar. Eleazar was the father of Matthan. Matthan was the father of Jacob. Jacob was the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary. Mary gave birth to Jesus, who is called the Messiah. All those listed above include fourteen generations from Abraham to David, fourteen from David to the Babylonian exile, and fourteen from the Babylonian exile to the Messiah.
Matthew 1:1-17

Dear God, I wonder if Joseph grew up knowing that he was a descendant of King David. I’m sure he did. I’m sure that it was always passed down from generation to generation, and the exact order was laid out. I don’t know if Joseph was the oldest of his siblings or not, but I’m sure there was a part of the boy Joseph that walked around feeling at least a little cool that he was a direct descendant of David. It probably meant less and less and he grew and the reality hit him that his lineage wasn’t worth much more than a schoolyard brag–at least that’s what he thought.

He had no idea how his life would turn out. But the thing that fascinates me about Joseph is what a good man he was. We’ll get into that in future passages, but there is something unbelievably noble about him. More noble even that what I know of any of his forefathers between him and David. But I’m sure David would have been proud that his great, great, great,…grandson turned out to be exactly the man you needed to raise Jesus. I don’t know what caused him to be that way. Perhaps it was his upbringing. Maybe his mother and father were just great at teaching him. Maybe it was just something about him that was humble that you identified. Maybe you prepared him specially for the life you had for him. Anyway, you already know this, but I just thing the world of him.

Father, I pray that you will help me to live into the life that you have for me. I’ve made so many mistakes at this point and missed so many opportunities, but there isn’t much I can do about those now other than make amends to people I’ve hurt. What I can do is try to love on you and love on others around me as much as possible and then trust in you that you will do with me what you need to do. Whatever that is, Father, lead me straight into it as much as possible.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 31, 2020 in Fathers of the Bible, Matthew

 

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Mothers of the Bible – The Mother of James and John (Salome?)

20 Then the mother of James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to Jesus with her sons. She knelt respectfully to ask a favor. 21 “What is your request?” he asked.
She replied, “In your Kingdom, please let my two sons sit in places of honor next to you, one on your right and the other on your left.”
22 But Jesus answered by saying to them, “You don’t know what you are asking! Are you able to drink from the bitter cup of suffering I am about to drink?”
“Oh yes,” they replied, “we are able!”
23 Jesus told them, “You will indeed drink from my bitter cup. But I have no right to say who will sit on my right or my left. My Father has prepared those places for the ones he has chosen.”
24 When the ten other disciples heard what James and John had asked, they were indignant. 25 But Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. 26 But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. 28 For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Matthew 20:20-28

Dear God, parents can be so foolish. I’ve seen the wisest people I know lose total perspective when it comes to their children and give bad advice because their judgment is clouded by being a parent. We want what’s best for our children. The problem is, we think we know what that best is when the truth is we have no clue. I suppose it starts from knowing what’s best for our children at the youngest ages. Eat now. Sleep now. Don’t touch that. Clean this. Our will is completely imposed upon them. But at some point in the process of letting go we fail to learn that we no longer have a clue as to what is best for them–what you might be doing in their lives that we cannot see.

In this woman’s case (her name might be Salome, but we aren’t 100% sure), she thought she could see where all of this was going. Jesus was going to have some power and it was time to make sure her boys were positioned to be at the top of the food chain. Maybe they were too meek for her taste. Maybe they had understood more of what Jesus was teaching than she had and knew better than to ask. But then they were too weak to tell her no. They might have secretly wanted this, but they might have also just been going along with her. Either way, she made her position very clear. This is what she wanted for her sons.

Ironically, her two boys would end up being at opposite ends of the life spans for the 11 remaining disciples after Judas killed himself. James would be the first to die as a martyr, and John would die of natural causes and be the last living of the original 12. Going back to what I learned from my study contrasting Peter and John, John was actually pretty immature and had a lot to learn from Jesus before the crucifixion. He was always ready to bring down fire from heaven to wipe out the Samaritans or whatever. Those rough edges were certainly worn down by the time he wrote his gospel and the three letters we have from him. No, you had a very different plan for these boys’ lives than his mother did. She loved you. She believed in you. But she was very foolish in this moment. But better to love you and be foolish, I suppose, than to just be selfish all of the time.

I guess I do kind of wonder about her concern for her boys. Their father was a man of some position in that he at least owned a boat and had others working for him. When they left to follow Jesus I’m sure his parents were concerned at first. How would they ever become respectable people capable of supporting a family? Maybe this request was part of her trying to answer that question for herself. Maybe she felt pressure to figure out how to calm her husband down from any disapproval he might have had about their decision to leave the boat and follow Jesus. I’m guessing on all of this, but my point is that there are all kinds of reasons we act foolishly. There are all kinds of reasons that I act foolishly.

Father, I think the “Serenity Prayer” from 12-Step programs is brilliant and it encompasses most of how I should be praying for myself and my children and then acting. So as I type this prayer out now, may it be in my perspective as a parent and for my wife and myself as well: “God, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” [emphasis mine]

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
 

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