“Watch out! Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven. When you give to someone in need, don’t do as the hypocrites do—blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I tell you the truth, they have received all the reward they will ever get. But when you give to someone in need, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you. Matthew 6:1-4
Dear God, this is a hard one for me. Well, yes and no. I’ve certainly gotten better about it. but there’s this piece of me that enjoys both doing kind deeds for people when no one is looking and then there is the part of me that enjoys an accolade now and then.
Why is it important that we give of ourselves anonymously? Well, I think those are the times when we are reflecting your image the most. After all, how many times are you doing things for me and I don’t realize it’s you? I try to recognize you in the moment and in the good things, but I know I only see a small fraction of what you’re actually doing. And when I give, pray, serve, fast, etc. privately then we are doing it as just something intimate between you and me. It’s me recognizing your goodness and then sharing a piece of my life—killing a piece of my selfishness—because there is no material gain for me. Yes, killing off a piece of my selfishness. That’s probably the best way to put it.
Father, help me to joyously kill yet another piece of my selfishness today. Love through me. Encourage through me. Bring your kingdom and Will into the world through me. I’m sorry for my vain need for notoriety.
“You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it. Matthew 7:13-14
Dear God, I know that ultimately only you know how the afterlife works. These two verses leave me wondering why it would be so hard to spend eternity with you, but something tells me I’m not going to figure it out in this moment, or really at anytime this side of death, so I’m not going to dwell on it. What I do want to appreciate this morning is the value in choosing the narrow road.
I’ve sinned enough in my life to appreciate how wide the narrow road is and what it’s like to live on it. One thing I always find on that road is guilt and shame. It’s a cloud that follows me when I’m on that road. Of course, when I feel shame then I want to hide my sin and even hide from you. I don’t want to pray. I don’t want to pursue you. I get past the initial euphoria of being on such a wide road with so many self-indulgent options and find myself feeling isolated and alone.
Father, the narrow road is hard, but it’s where I find peace. Thank you for making the narrow road attainable, both at the beginning of my Christian walk and when I stray to the other road while on my journey. Thank you for the sacrifice of Jesus. Thank you for the Holy Spirit. I’m prone to wander, Lord. I feel it. I’m prone to leave the God I love. Here’s my heart. Take and seal it. Seal it for your courts above.
But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees with his reply, they met together to question him again.
Matthew 22:34
Dear God, there was something about this particular verse this morning that made me think of our modern politics. These men were so concerned about being right and Jesus being wrong that they didn’t care about truth–seeing it or discovering it. The same is true of our country’s politics today. Those official politicians in power will meet together to conspire against the other side or to support their side, regardless of whether or not their side is right or wrong. And both sides do it. For example, President Clinton’s extramarital sexual escapades were condemned by the right and defended by the left. Twenty years later, the right defended President Trump and the left attacked him for the same reason. Of course, now with social media, that behavior has trickled throughout society.
But I’m above that, right? That couldn’t be me. I don’t judge someone to the point where it keeps me from loving them as myself. Right? Of course, I’m being sarcastic. I’m no Disney Princess. I’m the villain as much as anyone. I have someone I know right now who is hurting because his wife in (I presume) her early 50s died from COVID yesterday. When I went to his social media feed to learn more about her death I instantly judged him for the kinds of posts he had put up while she was apparently dying. Ever since, I have not loved him as myself, but maybe this is the kind of thing, tragic as it is, you can redeem and try to reach and soften his heart.
Father, I need your help to co finished to love you with all of my heart and to love my neighbor as myself. Forgive me for giving into judgment and group think. I simply want to be yours.
“You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’
“You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’ But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery.
“You have also heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not break your vows; you must carry out the vows you make to the Lord.’ But I say, do not make any vows! Do not say, ‘By heaven!’ because heaven is God’s throne.
“You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury: ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also.
“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!
Matthew 5:27,31-34,38-39,43-44
Dear God, I wonder how many “You have heard…, but I say…” statements Jesus would have for us today. I won’t try to come up with my own list because I’m too tainted by errant teaching, but I’m sure influence throughout politics would be in there somewhere.
I was talking with someone yesterday, and I asked him if there was anything he had been learning spiritually. I thought maybe he’d say something along the lines of your perspective on this, that, or the other part of life, but he said he was learning to be present in the moment with you because the present moment is where you are. Yes, that is a pretty evolved stage of spiritual development and it makes sense that that is where he is. He’s been walking with you for over 40 years, and his discipleship seems to have reached a level where he is beyond the normal dos and don’ts teachings of Christianity. He is just trying to dig deeper and deeper into communion with you.
Father, I aspire to get to that level, but it’s a process and a journey. If I live as long as he has, maybe I’ll get there, but if I don’t, at least I’ll know that I’m closer to you and knowing what you say more than I was yesterday, and I’ll have the hope of being even closer to you tomorrow. Please help me on this journey.
“Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.
Matthew 7:12
Dear God, it seems like I’ve been running across this concept lately. Whether it was Paul saying it or Jesus, the idea that what I do to others is the most important thing I do outside of worshipping you. It’s not the great thoughts I think or the multitudes I impress. It’s not about accomplishments. It’s simply about loving others, going out of my way for others, and respecting others.
It seems that there are so many leaders in our country right now who publicly proclaim you to me their God who do not align themselves with this verse. They do not do to others what they would want done to them. As I think about Congress, there are too many who call you Lord who do not legitimately listen to and consider the argument of their opponent, as they would want their opponent to do to them. They do not speak respectfully of their opponent, as they would want their opponent to speak of them. And this goes for more than Congress, obviously. It goes to churches, businesses, families, etc. All the way down to me. No, I don’t always do it as well. I am not always a good example of doing to others what I would want them to do to me.
Father, give me eyes to see my own sin in this area. Show me how I might be someone at whom others look and see an example of your grace in action. Love and nurture others through me. Enter the world through me for your glory’s sake. And thank you for everything you are doing.
After this interview the wise men went their way. And the star they had seen in the east guided them to Bethlehem. It went ahead of them and stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were filled with joy! They entered the house and saw the child with his mother, Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasure chests and gave him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. When it was time to leave, they returned to their own country by another route, for God had warned them in a dream not to return to Herod. After the wise men were gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. “Get up! Flee to Egypt with the child and his mother,” the angel said. “Stay there until I tell you to return, because Herod is going to search for the child to kill him.” That night Joseph left for Egypt with the child and Mary, his mother, and they stayed there until Herod’s death. This fulfilled what the Lord had spoken through the prophet: “I called my Son out of Egypt.”
Matthew 2:9-15
Dear God, it was probably right about 20 years ago that I asked myself about those gifts from the wise men for the first time. What was that about? I’m sure they brought them out of honor, but I’ll bet they ended up being used for more practical things. For example, it doesn’t say how much gold they brought, but I would think it came in handy when it was time to head to Egypt. The same with the other gifts. This flight to Egypt was so spur-of-the-moment that I’m sure Joseph didn’t have money saved up for it. But here you go, bringing some men from far away to meet a need that not even they knew they were meeting.
My wife and I sat down today to do some year-end giving. While we supported some nonprofits that are not in our town, most of the money stayed locally. For some, the donation will be a drop in the bucket. For others, it might enable them to do something they didn’t realize would need done. We just bring our gifts to the table and turn them over to you. How they use them under your authority (whether they acknowledge you as their Lord or not) is totally up to them. We give the money freely and expect nothing in return.
As someone who receives the gifts of others to run our ministry, I try to be cognizant of spending the money with honor. I’m not a miser with it. I try to be fair to employees and clients alike. If there is a need, I want us to be available to meet it. I want to glorify you, and I want those who partner with us to feel the joy of the good that their money does in the world.
Father, there have been countless times (literally countless) when you have shown up with a resource either in my personal or professional life that made all of the difference in the world. There was the year we had really low donations, but two bequests (decisions that had been made by the donors years before they died) made all of the difference in our success. In my personal life, I’ve seen you bring me jobs or opportunities right when I needed them. And I’ve tried to be generous back, although I know there are times when I am still selfish and self-indulgent with the gifts of time and money you give to me. So I guess my prayer is that I recognize you as the giver of all of the things that I see and perceive as good around me, and I also recognize that the challenges and struggles around me are also meant for my good. You are my God, and I will ever praise and trust you.
“God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers. Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way.”
Matthew 5:11-12
Dear God, but I thought you blessed me when I send you all of my money and do everything right. I thought the blessing was the lack of mocking and persecution. (Sarcasm implied)
I don’t know that we think about this passage near enough and how Jesus would define blessing. We think of blessings as a life lined with good things: safety, money, affirmations, love, and “plenty.” But that’s apparently not how Jesus defines it because he is saying the blessing comes when I experience the opposite of these things. So what does blessing mean?
I think it means that the persecution and/or struggles will draw me closer to you and, in return, you will grow the fruits of the Spirit in me. Love. Joy. Peace. It’s that simple. It might not look like a blessed life from the outside, but it’s what the Christian life is all about according to Jesus.
Father, I am frankly not sure I want to live a blessed life as defined by Jesus because it scares me. The world’s view of a blessed life is much more attractive. But that’s not the way this works. Much like exercising breaks down muscle so that it can build back stronger, I have to be willing to let you break me down in order to get to the blessed life you truly have for me. So do with me as you will.
“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
Matthew 6:31-34
Dear God, on the surface, this seems like ridiculous advice. Don’t worry about what we eat, drink, or wear?!? Don’t worry about tomorrow?!? Isn’t that irresponsible? I mean, if I’m going to be responsible then I need to have health insurance, life insurance, money in savings for a rainy day, a retirement account, etc. I need to set aside money I will owe for taxes at the end of the year. I need a will for my earthly possessions. I need my job so I can pay my mortgage. And to do my job right I certainly need to worry about tomorrow and plan ahead. No, this is ridiculous advice.
Or is it? What can I really control? I have zero idea what tomorrow holds. Illness? Famine? Pandemic? Recession? Death? Those are just a few of the countless possibilities. So I can plan (and a lot of what I mentioned in the beginning is really planning), but I need to 1.) remember that my plans are, by their very nature, flawed, and 2.) you are enough to cover the flawed parts of my plan. I have enough to think about today. There are broken relationships that need addressed. There are responsibilities I have to meet. There are children and a wife to love. There is a house that needs some maintenance. And most of all, there is a God to worship.
I’ll just add this, and I guess I’ll make this part of my worship of you today. I stand amazed at how powerful taking a day to pray and fast can be. I stand amazed at how you’ve blessed the fruit of my labor at work. You are amazing! And you seem to pay attention to every detail! I mean, how can you possibly do that? But you do. From our staff, to our safety, to our finances, you have not withheld anything from us at work. And for some of the surprise expenses my wife and I are experiencing right now, you seem to have provided the cash for that as well. And so for the things for family members that I’ve not yet seen answers, I trust that you are working on something I simply cannot see (and I may never see your plan come together in my lifetime). But I trust you, Lord. I trust you. Please show me what you have for me to do today.
“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs—beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people’s bones and all sorts of impurity. Outwardly you look like righteous people, but inwardly your hearts are filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness. “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you build tombs for the prophets your ancestors killed, and you decorate the monuments of the godly people your ancestors destroyed. Then you say, ‘If we had lived in the days of our ancestors, we would never have joined them in killing the prophets.’ “But in saying that, you testify against yourselves that you are indeed the descendants of those who murdered the prophets. Go ahead and finish what your ancestors started. Snakes! Sons of vipers! How will you escape the judgment of hell?
Matthew 23:27-33
Dear God, when I read this passage this morning it reminded me of the “Disney Princess Theology.” Surely, Lord, not me. It is those bad ol’ Pharisees who were like that. Our churches today aren’t like that. My church isn’t like that. Surely, Lord, not us.
Well, maybe it is us. Who do I embrace and who do I condemn? Do I embrace the wealthy, powerful, influential person over the weak and awkward person? Do I make decisions to align myself with those who will help me maintain my status and power, or am I willing to sacrifice things that I perceive to be to my benefit so that your greater plan might flourish?
Yes, I can’t help but wonder what areas of my life you are pointing out to me in this passage? I certainly judge people whom I perceive to be making bad decisions with their lives. Why don’t I befriend them and reach out to them? Am I afraid of them, or do I simply not want to extend myself into an uncomfortable situation?
Father, help me to be sensitive to my Pharisee-like ways. Help me to not assume that the bad people in the Bible are not representative of me, but instead be open to examining my own heart and discovering the parts that need purged and healed by your Holy Spirit. Love through me. I will start that process by loving you and then loving others.
After Terah was 70 years old, he became the father of Abram, Nahor, and Haran. This is the account of Terah’s family. Terah was the father of Abram, Nahor, and Haran; and Haran was the father of Lot. But Haran died in Ur of the Chaldeans, the land of his birth, while his father, Terah, was still living. Meanwhile, Abram and Nahor both married. The name of Abram’s wife was Sarai, and the name of Nahor’s wife was Milcah. (Milcah and her sister Iscah were daughters of Nahor’s brother Haran.) But Sarai was unable to become pregnant and had no children. One day Terah took his son Abram, his daughter-in-law Sarai (his son Abram’s wife), and his grandson Lot (his son Haran’s child) and moved away from Ur of the Chaldeans. He was headed for the land of Canaan, but they stopped at Haran and settled there. Terah lived for 205 years and died while still in Haran. The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father’s family, and go to the land that I will show you. I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and you will be a blessing to others. I will bless those who bless you and curse those who treat you with contempt. All the families on earth will be blessed through you.” So Abram departed as the Lord had instructed, and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he left Haran.
Genesis 11:26-12:4
Dear God, maybe we aren’t as great as we think we are. Maybe, sometimes, we are just convenient to your plan.
It’s interesting that Genesis doesn’t really give us any great insights into why you chose Abram. I imagine it had something to do with the fact that he was pretty much willing to do any weird thing you asked him to do.
Leave your family and go where I tell you (to be disclosed later). Okay
Listen to Sarah and send Hagar and Ishmael off to seemingly die. Okay.
Sacrifice your son on an altar to me. Sure.
I would imagine that the people around Abram/Abraham thought he was pretty weird. A religious zealot. But you gave him credibility through the blessings you gave him so I would imagine that was enough reason for the people around him to go along with him.
Is everything I just typed heresy? I don’t know. Maybe. But then I think of Paul. It certainly wasn’t his love for Jesus or goodness that made you call him. It was his zeal that you knew you could redeem and redirect for your purposes (is that more heresy?). Samson? Well, Samson was just a mess of a person, but certainly your person for a specific time. It certainly wasn’t his goodness or love for justice and mercy that earned him your favor. Jacob? A scoundrel if ever there was one, but you had some specific plan for this clan spawned by Abram through Isaac and Ishmael. Thousands of years later, and these are the two dominant religions in the world.
It makes me think of a Rich Mullins song called “Who God is Gonna Use.”
As part of the intro to this YouTube video he said, “Some people say, ‘Rich, don’t you feel like a phony talking about Christ?’ And I say, ‘No, I don’t because I don’t believe Christ loves me because I’m good.'” Then he goes on to sing about all of these people in the Bible you used about whom there was nothing particularly Godly. Balaam’s donkey. Pharaoh’s daughter who found Moses. Esther. Pilate.
So what’s my point in all of this? I think it’s that I can let go of any search for significance and rest assured that whatever significance you want my life to have you can accomplish with or without my decision to be significant. My job is to love you with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love my neighbor as myself. I’m called to do that because you deserve that. As to my worth in your kingdom, one day you will hold me accountable for what I did or didn’t do with my life.
“But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate the people as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will place the sheep at his right hand and the goats at his left. “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’
Matthew 25:31-40
I’ll admit that I don’t try to solve every problem I see. I don’t think there is any way that I possibly can. But then again, that is why you have the body of Christ and not just me. My job is to be sensitive to what you are calling me to do.
Father, give me ears to hear and eyes to see. Help me to not embrace my own posterity, but to embrace you. Help me to also see others through your eyes. Help me to not judge. To not assign a “kingdom value” to them. I would have totally discounted Abram, Jacob, and Samson. There are national leaders whom I discount now. I definitely have my opinions about who should win the next election for president, and I will vote that way, but I can also recognize that I don’t know your heart on this and I will trust that you are working out a greater plan that I cannot see even if it looks on the surface like we are taking two steps backward.
Emails to God 