18 One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up. 2 “There was a judge in a certain city,” he said, “who neither feared God nor cared about people. 3 A widow of that city came to him repeatedly, saying, ‘Give me justice in this dispute with my enemy.’ 4 The judge ignored her for a while, but finally he said to himself, ‘I don’t fear God or care about people, 5 but this woman is driving me crazy. I’m going to see that she gets justice, because she is wearing me out with her constant requests!’”
6 Then the Lord said, “Learn a lesson from this unjust judge. 7 Even he rendered a just decision in the end. So don’t you think God will surely give justice to his chosen people who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? 8 I tell you, he will grant justice to them quickly! But when the Son of Man returns, how many will he find on the earth who have faith?”
Luke 18:1-8
Dear God, I have a couple of things I’ve prayed about for years and years, and they haven’t been answered in the way I want them to be answered. Why not?!? I put that exclamation point in their intentionally even though I don’t really mean it. I’ve prayed about you not giving me the answer I want before, so I don’t want to go there. What I’ve finally come to is that answering my prayer the way I want it answered would either not be the best for the people I’m praying for or for myself.
So, in relation to this parable, that leaves me with continuing to pray. Continuing to bring my heart to you. But I shouldn’t just pray for what I want. I should let your Holy Spirit mold my prayers into looking for what is best for those I love and for your plan regardless of what it costs me. And that is where I am, at least in this moment. I’m leaning into Acts 20:24 (I consider my life worth nothing to me…). I’m here to do your bidding. You aren’t here to do mine. Yours isn’t to figure out how you can indulge my selfishness. Yours is to love me and offer me relationship with you and then eternity with you, and to accomplish everything you can through my life in the meantime.
Father, as I sit here now, I ask that you not let the pain and sorrows of my life be wasted. Use them. Use them for your good in the world. Use them for those I love, to draw them into you and help them lead whole lives in relationship with you. Use them to mold me into the man you are calling me to be. My wife and I were talking about Moses raising his staff during Joshua’s battle with the Amalekites. When the staff dropped the Amalekites had the advantage. But when your staff in Moses’s hands was high the Israelites had the advantage. Why? Because it was your reminder to them that their victories were about you and not them. So help me to remember that everything good is from you and everything that is a challenge is not of you but you want to walk with me and support me through it. Thank you, Father. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Holy Spirit.
I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,
Amen