We evoke your mercy in
Humble Prayer, O Lord,
That you may cause us,
Your servants,
Corrected by penance
and schooled by good
works,
To persevere sincerely in
Your commands
And come safely to the
Paschal festivities.

Collect for Mass of the Day – April 3, 2025

Dear God, lead me on. When I read this passage this morning, what jumped to mind was the Amy Grant song “Lead Me On.” This is a journey. Trials. Pain. Victories. Sorrows. Celebrations. Laments. Lead me on!

Today marks the 25th anniversary of these prayer journals. It’s hard to believe I’ve been doing them this long. They have changed my life. I’m not the same 30-year-old who started doing these on April 3, 2000. I have more bruises and callouses. I also have some great testimonies of what you’ve done in my life. I can look back at the major events in my life since then and honestly say that they would literally not have happened if I hadn’t been doing these prayer journals.

Of course, I remember the time I stopped doing them for over a year and a half. That might have been the lowest point of my life. I remember praying to you and telling you that I wasn’t angry with you, but I just couldn’t get motivated to pray to you in this way. And I honestly felt that way at the time. But in retrospect, if I wasn’t angry with you, I was certainly disappointed. While I rejected the idea of prosperity gospel, I think I had bought into a certain level of belief that you would give me at least a little something of what I wanted in exchange for my worship and obedience. I still don’t understand what happened then or what is still happening now, but I have learned that my life is truly not about me. It is about how you will use it regardless of the consequences to me. And, to be sure, I have a very good life. But there is pain, and I am learning how to let you comfort me in that pain instead of complaining that you allowed the pain to happen.

My wife asked me over dinner last night what I think it’s done for me–all these thousands of prayer journals. I told her that on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being Jesus and 1 being who I was before I met you, I think it has moved me from a 1.6 to a 1.8. But that is closer to being more Christlike than I was before. Maybe tomorrow I can hit a 1.81. But I could also digress to a 1.5. There is just so much of you, and I have so far to go. But you are worth it. The peace and joy I find in your presence are worth it. If I can truly get my heart to where Job gets at the end of his story and Paul gets throughout the Epistles of just realizing it’s not about me, but it’s all about you, then I can continue to make that little bit of progress each day.

Father, for everything that happens, please don’t waste it. Even when I make a mistake, don’t waste the mistake. Help me to not waste time on regret, but to turn that regret into repentance and then moving forward in you. As I start this 26th year of journaling my prayers to you in this way, I pray that you will speak to me in this space. Holy Spirit, sit with me and pray with me. Teach me. Take my heart to the Father. I worship you, my Triune God.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen