Dear God, this video really struck me this morning. It was the part at the 1:50 mark when he started talking about how he allowed himself to buy into the icon he had become and it simply turned him into a “jerk.” I’m not sure why it resonated with me so much. Perhaps there’s some me in there. I mean, I’m not famous, but I’m small-town famous. A lot of people in our small town know who I am and I get a lot of acclaim for the work I do vocationally. And I can feel the temptation to start to lean into that. Not that I am a “jerk” to others. I legitimately don’t think I am. But I can start to feel pretty influential and important. I can start to feel like the town needs me. And, frankly, I can start to think I’m the one doing these things and forget to give you the credit and glory you deserve over me.

This kind of feeds into what I was praying yesterday about how small we are. I am 1/7-billionth of the world. I am 1/360-millionth of this country. I am 1/27,000th of this county. I am 1/11,000th of this town. And I couldn’t do anything on my own. I can’t do it without you, first and foremost. The way you love me and nurture my soul. The way you speak into my life through the Bible, family and friends, and even videos like the one I mentioned above. In my times of prayer like now. I am not who I am, and I cannot do what I do apart from you. My wife is amazing and patient with me. Supportive. Honest. Prayerful. Then there are the people who work with me. I get so much credit for the great work they do. When it comes to helping our clients, they are the heroes. And then there are donors and volunteers who make our work possible. None of that is me. It’s all them sharing their resources with their neighbors. It’s must my job to help them feel joy from that. Your joy. Then there are the agencies who partner with us to help the different parts of our patients’ lives. We cannot do it in isolation. Even the greatest person on this planet (who would still be the least in the Kingdom of Heaven–Matthew 11) would not be able to say they have done it on their own. No one can.

Father, I’m not sure why this keeps coming up as a theme lately, but it truly feels like you are trying to teach me something. Holy Spirit, whisper in my hear. Speak to me through your still, small voice. Help me to be who you want me to be. You you need me to be for my own good and for the good of your creation. So that your kingdom will come and your will will be done on this earth through my little 1/7-billionth.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen