Dear God, the verse of the day from Bible Gateway today was Jesus’s response to Judas (not Iscariot) at the Last Supper in John’s Gospel when he asked why Jesus was only revealing himself to them and not the whole world. I thought that was a really good question on his Judas’s part. So I decided to sit down this morning and just look at what John records the disciples asking Jesus that evening to see if I can get a feel for what that confusing time must have been like for them.

It starts after the foot washing scene and Jesus’s prediction of Judas Iscariot’s betrayal when Peter says this:

³⁶ Simon Peter asked, “Lord, where are you going?”

And Jesus replied, “You can’t go with me now, but you will follow me later.”

³⁷ “But why can’t I come now, Lord?” he asked. “I’m ready to die for you.”

John 13:36-37

Peter was, indeed, ready to go to battle for Jesus as is evidenced in John 18:10. He just wasn’t ready to go willingly to his death for Jesus without a fight. Jesus’s way was different.

In John 14, Jesus starts by telling the disciples he is leaving and they know the way, to which Thomas replies in verse 5, “No, we don’t know, Lord. We have no idea where you are going, so how can we know the way?” It’s interesting to see the confusion and the complete inability for these men who knew Jesus better than anyone to understand what was happening and get their heads around this new paradigm he was laying out.

Next, it is Philip’s turn. After Jesus tells them they will know you through him, Philip answers, “Lord, show us the Father, and we will be satisfied.” What exactly did Philip think he was asking for there? I have to tell you, the idea of seeing you with my own eyes terrifies me. I think was Philip was saying is much like the father who wanted Jesus to heal his son and when Jesus challenged his faith said, “I believe. Help my unbelief.” I think at this point, maybe Philip and the rest were getting a little rattled and he was wanting something that would help any unbelief that was creeping in. That’s just a guess on my part, but when you put that statement in context, it makes sense.

Now we are up to what I think is a great question from Judas (not Iscariot):  “Lord, why are you going to reveal yourself only to us and not to the world at large?” On one level, he is probably wanting you to reveal yourself to the world so the world wouldn’t that they, as your disciples, were crazy. This was all weird and unprecedented. And then on another level, it’s a good question. Isn’t it time for you to reveal yourself to the world as the Messiah? Isn’t it “go-time”? Of course, I know now that the plan was for you to die and rise again–and even then you were selective about who you revealed yourself to. And it was for a reason. A resurrected Jesus in the eyes of an entire society would still have elicited a paradigm of nationalism and rebellion against Rome. But that wasn’t the plan, either before or after the crucifixion and resurrection. But it’s a good question on Judas’s part.

Judas’s question sets off, according to John, as long speech by Jesus as he tries to explain to them what they need to know, but ends with them asking in chapter 16, “What does he mean when he says, ‘In a little while you won’t see me, but then you will see me,’ and ‘I am going to the Father’? ¹⁸ And what does he mean by ‘a little while’? We don’t understand.” This is one of the reasons I think it would have actually been difficult to hang out with Jesus on a regular basis had I been alive then. I get the feeling I would have been in a state of constant confusion. Although, I guess that’s not much different than I am feeling now and every day. I am always at least a little confused.

Finally, after Jesus gives them a little more explanation, although it doesn’t seem that much clearer to me than what he said before, they say, “At last you are speaking plainly and not figuratively. ³⁰ Now we understand that you know everything, and there’s no need to question you. From this we believe that you came from God.” Frankly, I’m not sure they really understood. I think this is one of those times when I pretend to understand something because I am tired of feeling and appearing foolish.

Father, it was fun to spend a little time with Jesus’s disciples at the Last Supper this morning. Man, they were doing their best, but they were so confused! But is it any more confused than I am at any given moment. I won’t understand what you are doing in this world until after it has happened. So my job now is to ask you to give me my direction today. Show me what to do. Show me who to love. Show me how to worship you. And lead me not into temptation, including looking at political stuff and starting to fret over an idol I am tempted to create in government, but deliver me from evil.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen