Dear God, I was just telling a friend through the WeTree app on my daily check-in that I feel glum today. The woman I prayed about yesterday who was dying passed yesterday. Between the crying I did on Tuesday over my personal situation and then the crying I did yesterday over her loss and for her family, I am pretty emotionally wrung out. I decided a few weeks ago that I really wanted to dig into this Lenten season with you. I wanted to consider the life, suffering, death, and resurrection of Jesus in an intentional way. I wanted to hear from you in a new way. Now, as I sit here about 2/3 of the way through Lent, I can’t help but wonder if this wasn’t about making sure my branch was securely fastened to your vine when these storms came. Either way, I am incredibly grateful for you while I go through this valley of the shadow of death.

With that said, here are the passages from Sacred Invitation: Lenten Devotions Inspired by the Book of Common Prayer for today.

• AM Psalm: 69
• PM Psalm: 73
• Jeremiah 22:13-23
• John 6:41-51
• Romans 8:12-27

Psalm 69 – Verst 1: Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck. This reminds me of a line from the TV show The West Wing. One of the characters is cryptically telling someone that something confidential that is bad is happening and the person asks the character, “Friend to friend, is the water over your head?” She replies, “No, the water is right at my head.” From a functional standpoint, I don’t think the water is that high in my life, but emotionally I feel like the water is getting up to my neck. Oh, how I am grateful that it is okay to feel that. I don’t have to deny it and always be “happy all the day” as the hymn “At the Cross” suggests. There is room in your plan for me for me to mourn, even for my own sin and mistakes. I am grateful that David shows me that even as I sit here this morning praying to you in my sadness, it’s okay. The man after your own heart was sad sometimes too and prayed to you out of that pain.

Psalm 73 – Verses 25 and 26: “Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Yes. This whole psalm is worth a read for anyone who is envious of the godless who are successful, but, at least at this moment, I do not have that envy. But I am getting closer and closer to the real belief that even though my heart and flesh may fail, you are the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Jeremiah 22:13-23 – “Does it make you a king to have more and more cedar?” Oh, Lord, please keep me from envying that which is not of you. Give me your eyes to see. I’m not saying that wealth is a bad thing. I depend upon the excess wealth and generosity of others to do the work I do for your people. But I also don’t want to envy any other life. The one you gave me to live is more than enough.

Romans 8:12-27 – “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for , but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches out hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.” Holy Spirit, pray for me. Pray for those I love. Pray for the family that lost their wife, mother, daughter, sister yesterday. Thank you for searching out our hearts.

I offer all of this to you in Jesus and with the Holy Spirit,

Amen