Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it.
Mark 8:34-35

Dear God, there are parts of my life I really want to hang on to. I confess it. Not just admit it–I confess it. I want some things in my life the way I want them, especially as they relate to my family. But I’m slowly getting better. I’m slowly turning loose of it. I’m turning loose of my own way and taking up my cross to follow you. I’m getting there.

Last night, I had a conversation that I thought would have messed me up pretty badly, but I think I’m really okay this morning. I think I am. Maybe I’m not, and I’m just in denial, but I think I’m okay. It feels like I given (at least mostly) the forgiveness you’ve told me to give for my own sake. To some extent, I almost feel like I’m outside of this situation looking down on it like a third party. Almost an out-of-body experience. I’m not mad this morning. I didn’t lose any sleep over it last night, although my adrenalin was a little high as I went to bed after the conversation just from the intensity of it so it took me a while to get to sleep, but I wasn’t thinking about it as I went to sleep. My own way that Jesus mentions in verse 34 is not a path to peace. It is a path to angst.

Father, there is a lot of damage that’s been done in the situation to which I’m referring from last night. Some of it really concerns me. Heal hearts. Bring repentance to all involved, including me, for each of our own sakes. I have some people on my heart right now who are really hurting. Please raise up people around them who can be your ears, your voice, and your hands to them. Bring them healing. Ease their pain and make them whole. Help them to deny their own way, turn loose of it, and take up their cross to follow you. Do all of this for their relationships with you and for your glory to come into this world. Please, continue to do the same for me.

I gratefully pray all of this to you, my God, my King, my Savior,

Amen