Then the people who had arrested Jesus led him to the home of Caiaphas, the high priest, where the teachers of religious law and the elders had gathered. Meanwhile, Peter followed him at a distance and came to the high priest’s courtyard. He went in and sat with the guards and waited to see how it would all end. Inside, the leading priests and the entire high council were trying to find witnesses who would lie about Jesus, so they could put him to death. But even though they found many who agreed to give false witness, they could not use anyone’s testimony. Finally, two men came forward who declared, “This man said, ‘I am able to destroy the Temple of God and rebuild it in three days.’” Then the high priest stood up and said to Jesus, “Well, aren’t you going to answer these charges? What do you have to say for yourself?” But Jesus remained silent. Then the high priest said to him, “I demand in the name of the living God—tell us if you are the Messiah, the Son of God.” Jesus replied, “You have said it. And in the future you will see the Son of Man seated in the place of power at God’s right hand and coming on the clouds of heaven.” Then the high priest tore his clothing to show his horror and said, “Blasphemy! Why do we need other witnesses? You have all heard his blasphemy. What is your verdict?” “Guilty!” they shouted. “He deserves to die!” Then they began to spit in Jesus’ face and beat him with their fists. And some slapped him, jeering, “Prophesy to us, you Messiah! Who hit you that time?”
Matthew 26:57-68

Dear God, I woke up this morning at about 5:00 a.m. and I thought about it being Good Friday. I thought about where Jesus was at 5:00 a.m. nearly 2,000 years ago. I thought about his pain, anger, dread, fear, despair, sadness, etc. Then I thought about the anger and venom on the other side. Ripping clothes. Yelling. Beating. Mocking. It really fell on me, just how painful this moment was. Yet, it was so crucial. It was a critical part of the journey for me to even be here this morning.

I don’t want to waste this day today. I don’t want this to be a day when I give a head nod to Good Friday as a holiday and as the day of Jesus’s crucifixion and not really, I don’t know, contemplate it. Sit with it. Consider it. I guess I want to see you/Jesus/Holy Spirit, my Triune God, in just a bit deeper way. I want to get a new taste of what your love for me really looks like. I want to worship you better, driven by a more complete picture of you.

Father, I have a lot of thoughts swirling in my head right now. Maybe that’s good. My temptation is to fill my day with noise. Maybe I need to fill this day with more silence. Speak to me. Give me ears to hear. Give me a repentant heart and a forgiving heart. Let your kingdom come and your will be done on earth as it is in heaven through my life.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen