No verse.

Dear God, it’s been 52 weeks to the day that I was in a high state of alert with the pandemic. I took on on Thursday, March 12, to attend a court hearing with a relative, and that was the day a lot of national organizations such as the NCAA started to shut things down, realizing the COVID-19 was serious and was worthy of draconian measures to stop it. I knew that the staff at work was of two minds. Some were insisting that this was all overblown and some were insisting that we weren’t taking this seriously enough. I felt like my job was to find the correct path–your path–forward. We had a fundraising dinner coming up. We had patients, volunteers, and staff who needed to be protected. We had a role to play in our community’s response to the new pandemic. What did you want us to do? What did you want me to do?

My response was to take this Sunday one year ago to fast and pray. I actually went down to the clinic where I work and went to the chapel. After praying for a little while, I got my laptop and typed an email to our medical director, dentist, and therapist, outlining my thinking and what I heard the Holy Spirit telling me. I won’t go into the details of everything we decided, but I can tell you it was a time of pressure that pushed me into a state of desiring to be as close to you as possible. I wanted to get this right under your blessing and leadership. Looking back, I think that happened. I think you really provided for us.

So now I sit here one year later, and I can see that you’ve done some amazing things. But there are still some decisions to be made. What do we do about loosening up any restrictions? How far do we go in opening up our facility at work to anyone who wants to come in the door? What do we do with our fundraising events for the rest of the year? How should we work with our donors? What role do we have to play in our community’s continued response? How do I bless the staff and balance between making their lives easier/safer, and ensuring we help every single person you bring to us? Then there are the personal things. What kinds of precautions do my wife and I still need to take? Church? Eating out? Shopping? Visiting family. We’ve both been fortunate enough to be vaccinated, but there is still so much that is unknown about the variants of COVID-19. What do you have for us to do?

Father, I want to take this day as well to fast and pray. I’ll admit that I’m not as much looking for guidance and I am wanting to center myself on you. Selfishly, I am hoping you will see this pious act on my part and reward it. Hmm, that is an interesting thing to admit to myself. What is my motivation? It’s actually pretty selfish. I’m sorry. No, what I want is your insight into this situation. I do want your guidance. Please help me as I go through this day to use this as worship of you and draw me closer to your still small voice through the Holy Spirit.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen