“No Words”

Those are the first two words of my favorite Sara Bareilles song, “Uncharted.” No words.

My wife has a friend who has a terminal cancer diagnosis. What does one say to that friend? Are there no words? Or do I just not have them? I too have a friend who has what will ultimately be terminal cancer. I don’t know how long he has to live and I don’t know what his path is like. Does God have words for him that I am supposed to deliver, or does he just offer me?

There is a ministry in some churches called Stephen’s Ministry. These ministers are trained to just be with people through their situation. To sit. To be present. To love. Not to fix. Not to solve. Just to be a physical presence on God’s behalf, sharing life.

One of the tragic things we can do in a difficult situation is force the words. More often than not, when we try too hard to say just the right thing, it ends up being exactly the wrong thing. When we had our miscarriage 25 years ago today, some well-meaning people told us that it was God’s will or that something must have been wrong and there was a reason. Oh, just be quiet and sit with us in our pain. Just be present. Allow there to be no words.

“No Words”

I won’t try to speak
I’ll simply be here for you
You won’t be alone