“Where I Began” by Caedmon’s Call

The grass looked greener on the other side
So I tried to, snatch myself from your hand
Caught a boat to anywhere but Nineveh
And, well you know, I got spit back on dry land.

Give me purity and give me continence
But oh no, not yet.
Like a coin hiding in the corner
Trying not to be swept
And I was trying not to be swept.

Kicking against these goads
Sure did cut up my feet
And didn’t your hands get bloody
As you washed them clean (you washed them!),

Here I am again, back where I began
Try as I may I can’t get away from you
And all of these roads lead me to roam,
Bring me back home.
Here I am again, back where I began.

So you have yourself your ninety nine (ninety nine),
Isn’t that enough for you?
Still you followed me to the shadowed valley
Carried me on your shoulders too.

I’ve done the work of Sisyphus
Thinking that I could get over this hill
But the one thing I can’t get over now…(is the)
Is the force of your will.

Here I am again, back where I began
Try as I may I can’t get away from you
And all of these roads lead me to roam,
Bring me back home.
Here I am again, back where I began.

Here I am again, back where I began
Try as I may I can’t get away from you
And all of these roads lead me to roam,
Bring me back home.
Here I am again, back where I began.

Dear God, well, here’s another great song that is just full of biblical reference, and happens to be a really enjoyable song to listen to as well. I’ve always noticed the references to familiar Bible stories in this song, but I’ve never really thought about the theme of how these stories fit together. This should be interesting.

The grass looked greener on the other side
So I tried to, snatch myself from your hand
Caught a boat to anywhere but Nineveh
And, well you know, I got spit back on dry land.

John 10:28 – “I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.”

Jonah 1:1-3a,17, 2:16 – The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.” But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed to Tarshish…Now the Lord provided a huge fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights…And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.

When thinking about Jesus talking in John 10 about not letting any get snatched from his hand, I don’t think I’ve ever thought about snatching myself. But isn’t that what I do? “Worshiping you and spending time with you doesn’t sound like much fun today. I have some things I’d rather do instead.” Then I start doing them. At least I can say that I do, indeed, start to miss you after a while.

Give me purity and give me continence
But oh no, not yet.
Like a coin hiding in the corner
Trying not to be swept
And I was trying not to be swept.

Luke 15:8 – “Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Doesn’t she light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it?”

I think this one is pretty self-explanatory.

Kicking against these goads
Sure did cut up my feet
And didn’t your hands get bloody
As you washed them clean (you washed them!)

Acts 26:14 – “We all fell to the ground, and I heard a voice saying to me in Aramaic, ‘Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.’ “

John 13:8 – “No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.” Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.” 

The reference to the goads takes my rebellion to the next level. Not only am I leaving you and hiding from you, but a goad is something an animal worker uses to get an animal to do its will. But like Paul was actively working against you, there are times when my selfishness actually gets in the way of your plan for me, for others, and for the world. But there you are, washing us clean.

So you have yourself your ninety nine (ninety nine),
Isn’t that enough for you?
Still you followed me to the shadowed valley
Carried me on your shoulders too.

Luke 15:-6a – “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home.”

Psalm 23:4 – Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me. 

When I read the parable about the hundred sheep and the thrill of finding the lost one, it made me think of Jesus being found by Joseph and Mary in the temple. He was too big at that point for Joseph’s shoulders, but I’ll bet their anger melted pretty quickly when they found him. He knew what it was like to see that kind of love for him from his parents.

I’ve done the work of Sisyphus
Thinking that I could get over this hill
But the one thing I can’t get over now…(is the)
Is the force of your will.

So now we get a little Greek mythology. Here’s the beginning of the Wikipedia entry for Sisyphus:

In Greek mythology Sisyphus was the king of Ephyra (now known as Corinth). He was punished for his self-aggrandizing craftiness and deceitfulness by being forced to roll an immense boulder up a hill only for it to roll down every time it neared the top, repeating this action for eternity.

“Self aggrandizing”

“Craftiness”

“Deceitfulness”

Yes, I’ve lied to you, myself, and others over the years. Who am I kidding? Maybe not so long ago. But here I am again, back where I began. And try as I may, I can’t get away from you. All of these roads that lead me to roam bring me back home. Here I am again, back where I began. I’m sorry for leaving.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen