When Herod heard about Jesus, he said, “John, the man I beheaded, has come back from the dead.” For Herod had sent soldiers to arrest and imprison John as a favor to Herodias. She had been his brother Philip’s wife, but Herod had married her. John had been telling Herod, “It is against God’s law for you to marry your brother’s wife.” So Herodias bore a grudge against John and wanted to kill him. But without Herod’s approval she was powerless, for Herod respected John; and knowing that he was a good and holy man, he protected him. Herod was greatly disturbed whenever he talked with John, but even so, he liked to listen to him. Herodias’s chance finally came on Herod’s birthday. He gave a party for his high government officials, army officers, and the leading citizens of Galilee. Then his daughter, also named Herodias, came in and performed a dance that greatly pleased Herod and his guests. “Ask me for anything you like,” the king said to the girl, “and I will give it to you.” He even vowed, “I will give you whatever you ask, up to half my kingdom!” She went out and asked her mother, “What should I ask for?” Her mother told her, “Ask for the head of John the Baptist!” So the girl hurried back to the king and told him, “I want the head of John the Baptist, right now, on a tray!” Then the king deeply regretted what he had said; but because of the vows he had made in front of his guests, he couldn’t refuse her. So he immediately sent an executioner to the prison to cut off John’s head and bring it to him. The soldier beheaded John in the prison, brought his head on a tray, and gave it to the girl, who took it to her mother. When John’s disciples heard what had happened, they came to get his body and buried it in a tomb.
Mark 6:16-29

Dear God, for a short time I debated whether or not to include Herod and Herodias in my “Parents of the Bible” series, but I decided that we see them interacting with their daughter and making decisions with her as their parent so I guess they count. You put them and their story in here for us so let’s see what we can learn from them.

Herod

Here is a list of what we see Herod do in this story:

• He takes his brother’s wife.
• He didn’t necessarily want to arrest John the Baptist (JTB), but he did it at the behest of his wife.
• JTB made him uncomfortable by presenting Herod’s sin to Heron any chance he got, but he “respected John; and knowing that he was a good and holy man, he protected him.”
• This part is interesting. I saw a movie about Jesus one time that showed this story. It had an adult daughter dancing seductively for her father, him getting turned on, and then making a foolish, drunken vow to her. While that could be an interpretation, that’s not what the story says. It just says his daughter “came in and performed a dance that greatly pleased Herod and his guests.” That’s it. She could have been a 10-year-old that he was proud of. His vow was stupid, but it wasn’t necessarily made out of lust for his daughter. It could have been simple pride in her.
• He makes a foolish vow, but “because of the vows he had made in front of his guests, he couldn’t refuse her.” We’ll come back to that.
• He had JTB’s head given to the girl.

I guess my big thing for Herod is that he simply allowed his pride to impact his parenting. What will others think? That was a teachable moment for him with his daughter. We can’t ask for illegal and immoral things and expect to get them. But to say that to her in front of his guests would have been too much for him to swallow. In relating this to my own life, I can see where I might allow what others will say/think to influence my parenting decisions. Yes, this is part of Herod’s cautionary tale.

Herodias

Ah, Herodias. Her actions all come back to a very familiar motive: Shame. I won’t speculate as to what her role was in being Herod’s wife instead of Philip’s. But JTB’s rebukes obviously bothered her more than they did Herod so I’ll assume (and it’s a fairly big assumption) she felt some responsibility and guilt over it.

Then her daughter, perhaps unwittingly, gets involved. She does something that pleases her father, she is granted a huge favor and she doesn’t know how to respond. “Mom, what should I ask for?!? Servants? A city? Gold? Jewelry?” Then Herodias (the mother) sees an opportunity. She’s been trying to get Herod to get rid of JTB for a long time, but he’s refused. She didn’t have that much leverage over him. But now her daughter did so she used her daughter for her own gain. All to deal with her own shame.

I’d like to think I’m above ever doing anything like that, but am I? Have I ever used my children to get my way with my spouse? Just this week, I saw a divorced couple using their children to get back at each other. I’d love to judge Herodias ruthlessly for thinking of herself and her own wants/needs before her child’s, but I know I’ve done it and I’ve seen nearly every other parent do it as well.

Father, I’m glad I didn’t skip over these two parents I could seem myself in them as much as I have seen myself in any of these other biblical parents. I am sorry for the times when I put my own needs ahead of my child’s. Maybe it’s even as simple as a need to be liked by them instead of making a hard decision that will be for their best but cause them to be angry with me. Maybe it’s doing something mean out of revenge for a hurt they did to me. Guilty, guilty, guilty. I am guilty and I am sorry. Help me to be better.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen