Then the people who had arrested Jesus led him to the home of Caiaphas, the high priest, where the teachers of religious law and the elders had gathered. Meanwhile, Peter followed him at a distance and came to the high priest’s courtyard. He went in and sat with the guards and waited to see how it would all end… Then the high priest stood up and said to Jesus, “Well, aren’t you going to answer these charges? What do you have to say for yourself?” But Jesus remained silent. Then the high priest said to him, “I demand in the name of the living God—tell us if you are the Messiah, the Son of God.” Jesus replied, “You have said it. And in the future you will see the Son of Man seated in the place of power at God’s right hand and coming on the clouds of heaven.” Then the high priest tore his clothing to show his horror and said, “Blasphemy! Why do we need other witnesses? You have all heard his blasphemy. What is your verdict?” “Guilty!” they shouted. “He deserves to die!” Then they began to spit in Jesus’ face and beat him with their fists. And some slapped him, jeering, “Prophesy to us, you Messiah! Who hit you that time?” Meanwhile, Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard. A servant girl came over and said to him, “You were one of those with Jesus the Galilean.” But Peter denied it in front of everyone. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said. Later, out by the gate, another servant girl noticed him and said to those standing around, “This man was with Jesus of Nazareth. ” Again Peter denied it, this time with an oath. “I don’t even know the man,” he said. A little later some of the other bystanders came over to Peter and said, “You must be one of them; we can tell by your Galilean accent.” Peter swore, “A curse on me if I’m lying—I don’t know the man!” And immediately the rooster crowed. Suddenly, Jesus’ words flashed through Peter’s mind: “Before the rooster crows, you will deny three times that you even know me.” And he went away, weeping bitterly.

Matthew 26:57-58,62-75

Dear God, I wonder what it was like for Peter to sit outside Caiaphas’ house and listen to them beat Jesus. The adrenaline from the garden was gone. He didn’t have his sword any longer. Now he was just scared.

I am sure he felt helpless to stop what was happening to Jesus. I am sure he was scared for himself. As much as he had been anticipating a heroic opportunity to fight with Jesus and follow him to death, now he was anticipating a much less glorious death—helplessly being beaten and killed. Would he be forced to confess or deny that Jesus was the Messiah? Would he have to name names and indict his fellow disciples? I’ll bet he was playing it forward in his mind, and none of it was good. Admitting his identity and his allegiances would cost him everything and seemingly gain him nothing. His hubris in the upper room at the Passover meal was exposed.

It’s ironic, I suppose, that it was his love for Jesus that put him in this position. John is presumably around somewhere, but he is apparently successful at lying low. But Peter was up close. If he had run like the others he would never have been in the position to have to lie. Peter was still showing how special he was just by being there. He put himself in a position to fail, which is something that nearly all of the other disciples weren’t willing to do.

Father, I know I am going to fail you. I know that I will get into situations that will confuse me or even scare me, and I will let you down. But I guess my prayer is that you will still lead me to those situations and teach me in my failures as well as my successes. I don’t want to live so safely that I never fail. I want to live a life that exposes myself to opportunities to succeed for your glory and the potential for failure as well.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen