²⁴ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Dear God, I have always found this verse interesting because this isn’t, in fact, how we act as in reality. It seems that even the Jewish custom, from what I understand, is for the wife to leave her family and become part of her husband’s family. More often than not, women are asked to leave their father and mother and unite to their husbands, as opposed to the husband leaving his parents. Why is that, and is that Biblical?

Frankly, of all of the extended family relationships I have observed in my personal life and at work, usually the most difficult one is the wife getting along with her husband’s mother and/or sister(s). These relationships tend to be very frustrating. Mothers have special bonds with their sons and it can be hard for them to turn their care over to another woman. Most husbands, on the other hand, as long as they are hardworking and nice to the wives, get along with their in-laws just fine.

So what should the Biblical model look like, and who is responsible for pulling it off? I think that it looks like a man growing up and turning loose of his parents’ expectations and control over him. He needs to become his own man, which is something too many men fail to do (I am always irritated when there is a mother calling at work to make a medical appointment for her 51-year-old son). This often breaks down, however, because the mother’s husband isn’t there to help the mother let go of the son. My dad told me something one time that I’ve never forgotten: “It is the mother’s job to nurture the child, and the father’s job to help the mother let go.” That’s an over generalization, and he knows that, but I think it is largely truth.

Father, help me to be a husband who cleaves to his wife, and help me to be a husband who helps his own wife and son through that process. Help me to be the man you need me to be for my wife and for my mother. Bless our son through me, and if he gets married one day, bless his marriage through me as well. Of course, I also want what is best for my daughter, and want you to bless her. I will just need to think and pray through what that looks like as well.