²⁷ Then the governor’s soldiers took Jesus into the Praetorium and gathered the whole company of soldiers around him. ²⁸ They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, ²⁹ and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand. Then they knelt in front of him and mocked him. “Hail, king of the Jews!” they said. ³⁰ They spit on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again. ³¹ After they had mocked him, they took off the robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him away to crucify him.

Dear God, I wonder why these soldiers had so much venom for Jesus. Were they annoyed by all of the Jews in town for the Passover? Were they simply bigoted against the Jews? Was this just how they normally acted in similar situations?

This makes me think of the issue of gay marriage a little. The topic has come up for me a couple of times this week since North Carolina just had their vote about not legalizing it. As a conservative Christian who has a gay relative (whom I love dearly), I confess that I am often conflicted on this issue. I know what the Bible says about it. I know the Old and New Testament verses. I also know that there are some things in the Bible that are simply no longer good theology (selling your children into slavery, allowing for multiple wives, etc.), so there might be a part of it that is out of step. At the same time, I do think that you feel strongly about our sexual lives. You feel strongly about us avoiding debauchery in all forms.

I talked with a friend this week and asked him what would be worse in your (God’s) eyes: His son goes out on a homosexual date that night and nothing physical happened, or his son goes out on a heterosexual date and has sex with the girl? Frankly, the heterosexual son seems to be much more offensive to you and your desires for us.

But coming back to my point, on the issue of gay marriage, I feel like, as a conservative Christian, I am supposed to oppose it with all of my heart, soul, and strength. But when I look at the issue I wonder what exactly I am opposing. The biggest thing I hear is that it will break down the fabric of the institutional family. Well, frankly, heterosexuals have been doing that for years. Straight families have been undermining the idea of monogamy, commitment, and faithfulness more and more each year. And gay couples can already raise children, so they are already functioning as families. So why is it important that we keep them from sharing health benefits and having hospital visitation rights?

Father, I don’t know the answers to these questions, but I know a few things. I don’t want to be a lemming who, like these soldiers who were torturing Jesus, just accepts the group’s norms as my own. I want my theology and philosophy to come from you. I also know that I don’t understand your ways. I don’t understand your plan. I don’t understand homosexuality and the idea of nature vs. nurture. Even if it comes about from nurture, wasn’t it you that allowed the person to be nurtured in that way? I do know that I have no stones to throw at anyone because I am certainly not without sin. I do know that I love my  gay relative and my gay friends, and I really don’t care that they are. I know that I want all of my friends and relatives, gay or straight, to love you and simply be open to whatever the Holy Spirit chooses to convict them of—just like I want that for myself. And I know that I love you. I am sorry for where I fail you and fall short of your standards. I pray that you will use me in whatever way you will to accomplish your purposes in the lives of those around me.