21 “Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death. 22 You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. 23 When you are persecuted in one place, flee to another. Truly I tell you, you will not finish going through the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes.

Dear God, I’m sorry, but I’m not sure I’m willing to pay this price. I don’t want my brother, father, or children to betray me. I don’t want to have to feel persecution in one place. I know this was said to the disciples, but I think, at least at some level, this is meant for me too.

I’m at a men’s retreat right now, and men’s retreats inevitably end up centering around the idea of fathers and children. I was in a small group yesterday where we were each to tell a story about our father. Some were great: “I grew up in the Cleaver home.” And some where awful: “I always hated guys like you because of your fathers.” At one point in the day, we were also asked what our greatest sorrow is and also our greatest fear. My greatest sorrow was hard. I have had sorrows in my life, but, thankfully, nothing too debilitating. But my greatest fear was easy: Am I failing my children spiritually? In essence, am I failing you and them as their father?

I always start my last paragraph of every one of these emails by addressing you as “Father.” Well, Father, I don’t know what my future holds in terms of my relationships with my children, but let me say this: I offer my relationships with my children to you. Do with it what you will. I adore both of them and I commit to you that I am willing to pay whatever price it takes, personally, in order for them to lead lives that are joyful and peaceful through submission to you. I don’t know what price you will ask of me, but I tell you now that I will pay it. You have put me on this earth, first and foremost, to be my wife’s husband, and then to be their father. Help me to be the best one that I can be for their sakes and your glory’s sake.