“I STILL BELIEVE” by Russ Taff
I’ve been in a cave for forty days
Only a spark to light my way
I want to give out I want to give in
This is our crime, this is our sin
But I still believe, I still believe
Through the pain and through the grief
Through the lies and through the storms
Through the cries and through the wars
I still believe
Flat on my back out at sea
Hoping these waves don’t cover me
I’m turned and tossed upon the waves
When the darkness comes I feel the grave
But I still believe I still believe
Through the cold and through the heat
Through the rain and through the tears
Through the crowds and through the cheers
I still believe
I’ll march this road
I’ll climb this hill
Upon my knees If I have to
I’ll take my place upon this stage
I’ll wait till the end of time for You
For people like us in places like this
We need all the hope that we can get
I still believe, I still believe
Through the shame and through the grief
Through the heartache and through the tears
Through the waiting and through the years
I still believe
Words and music by Michael Been and J. Goodwin
Dear God, I first heard this song my freshman year in college when my roommate played me a version of it recorded by a group called The Call. I liked it, but I didn’t necessarily understand it. I was always trying to figure out “who” was talking. Were these biblical characters? Who’s in the cave? Is it Elijah? 40 days…is he referring to Jesus? Flat on my back out at sea…is that Jesus in the boat during the storm? Is he saying that Jesus was actually scared? Is this a Christian song at all? Marching the road and climbing the hill…is that Jesus? I’m so confused!
But perhaps I am the singer. Maybe I should turn this song inward. It’s not as important to know who is singing it as to wonder how much of it is my story.
This hit my radar today because a Christian singer, Russ Taff, who also recorded this song back in the 80s is releasing a biographical documentary about his struggle as a Christian artist who was living with the pain of hiding secrets about himself from the public. He called the movie “I Still Believe.” I watched the trailer and then decided to go back and listen to the song again.
So instead of thinking about Elijah, Jesus, The Call, Russ Taff, or the two writers of this song, Michael Been and J. Goodwin, I’m going to think about myself. When have I been in a cave just looking for a spark to light my way? When have I wanted to give out or give in? When have I been on my back out at sea, hoping the waves don’t cover me? When have I been turned and tossed and felt the grave?
Father, I’ll march this road, I’ll climb this hill–upon my knees if I have to. I’ll take my place upon this stage and I’ll wait until the end of time for you. You are my reason for breath. You are the air I breathe.
In Jesus’ name I pray,
Amen
Emails to God 