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Psalm 119:17-24 (Gimel)

24 Jul

Gimel

17 Be good to your servant,
    that I may live and obey your word.
18 Open my eyes to see
    the wonderful truths in your instructions.
19 I am only a foreigner in the land.
    Don’t hide your commands from me!
20 I am always overwhelmed
    with a desire for your regulations.
21 You rebuke the arrogant;
    those who wander from your commands are cursed.
22 Don’t let them scorn and insult me,
    for I have obeyed your laws.
23 Even princes sit and speak against me,
    but I will meditate on your decrees.
24 Your laws please me;
    they give me wise advice.

Psalm 119:17-24

Dear God, it’s time for the Gimel section of Psalm 119. I want to meditate on your word today, and the way I plan to do that is to spend some time in what this psalmist wrote to you in worship thousands of years ago. Thank you that I am tied to him and to your catholic church in this way.

  • 17 Be good to your servant, that I may live and obey your word. – I’m not sure what it means for me to tell you that I want you to be good to me. I mean, of course I want that, but is it presumptuous for me to ask? I want you to use each day to grow me closer to you. The challenges in the day. The good parts of the day. Maybe “good” in this context doesn’t mean spoil me and give me all that I selfishly want. Maybe the meaning can be found in the second part of the verse. Maybe good is giving me what you know I need so that I can become the man you have for me to be. A man who will live and obey your word.
  • 18 Open my eyes to see the wonderful truths in your instructions. – I was just listening to a discussion that is complicate to describe here, but it basically talked about how we have to have common truths among us as society in order to function as society. When be deny any moral absolutes and embrace complete individualism with no common ground then things will deteriorate. For me, I want to see the wonderful truths in your instructions, live them, and then share them with others so we can find common ground and function together to be your people.
  • 19 I am only a foreigner in the land. Don’t hide your commands from me! – I’m on vacation right now in a place I’ve never been to before. Now, it’s still in the U.S., so I have some basic understanding of how things work, but everything feels new and a little uncomfortable. When I wake up in the morning, I’m not sure where I am. When I’m not sure what to do during the day I have to rely heavily on the Internet to guide me to opportunities. But even in those moments I’m exploring and not in my comfort zone. I think this overall world is a bit like that. I am a foreigner–especially to what it would look like to have your kingdom come and your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Help me to know you more through the direction and commands you give me.
  • 20 I am always overwhelmed with a desire for your regulations. – Well, I’m not sure I can say that is true. I am sometimes overwhelmed with a desire for your regulations, but I think that is not the majority of my desires. I mean, yes, I want to follow you, but I am rarely “overwhelmed” by the desire for your regulations. Maybe a little more each day? I hope so.
  • 21 You rebuke the arrogant; those who wander from your commands are cursed. – A friend told me years ago that “[I] don’t like bullies.” Sometimes the arrogant can be bullies. But it’s not only bullies. There are just some who think they can do this on their own. They are determined to find their certainty in themselves. I so appreciate some of the men I have met through Christian Men’s Life Skills, both instructors and participants, who are humble and submitted to you, flaws and all.
  • 22 Don’t let them scorn and insult me, for I have obeyed your laws. – The people who scorn and insult me tend to be people who actually profess to follow you intently. They think I don’t follow your laws enough because I don’t believe in forcing your laws on others. I believe in loving them and then using persuasion to do it. I frustrate them, and they frustrate me. We are probably both wrong to a certain extent. Guide me, Holy Spirit, in this area.
  • 23 Even princes sit and speak against me, but I will meditate on your decrees. – For the psalmist, I wonder what this meant. For example, let’s say this is during David’s time. Were some of the king’s sons speaking against the psalmist? Regardless, the psalmist found his peace through meditating on you and your decrees. Amen.
  • 24 Your laws please me; they give me wise advice. – There is so much wisdom in your decrees. So much why. You didn’t just give us laws. There was a why behind your laws. I like to challenge church friends on the LGBTQ issue. They talk about why it’s bad to lie. Why it’s bad to murder, steal, etc. So when I ask them why someone shouldn’t be in a monogamous same-sex relationship, they can only point to the law and not the wisdom behind the law. This is just one example. Help us to share your laws with your wisdom so that we can show your compassion and love for us through your laws.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on July 24, 2025 in Psalm 119, Psalms

 

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Psalm 119:9-16 (Beth)

23 Jul

Beth

9 How can a young person stay pure?
    By obeying your word.
10 I have tried hard to find you—
    don’t let me wander from your commands.
11 I have hidden your word in my heart,
    that I might not sin against you.
12 I praise you, O Lord;
    teach me your decrees.
13 I have recited aloud
    all the regulations you have given us.
14 I have rejoiced in your laws
    as much as in riches.
15 I will study your commandments
    and reflect on your ways.
16 I will delight in your decrees
    and not forget your word.

Psalm 119:9-16

Dear God, I’m here again with Psalm 119. I’ll confess that I’m not sure I’ll end up doing this in 22 consecutive days because I found myself kind of dreading doing this prayer to you this morning, and I don’t want to dread praying to you through these journals. So we’ll see. But for this morning, I want to dive into the second section of this psalm and see what you have for me. Holy Spirit, sit with me now and speak to me. Give me eyes to see and ears to hear.

  • 9 How can a young person stay pure? By obeying your word. – Does this indicate that the author of this psalm is young? Maybe. Now that I think about it, as a psalm of orientation (as opposed to disorientation or reorientation) it makes me think that it is written by someone who hasn’t run into as many of the trials that come with life yet. I’m not as much referring to this one verse, but the rest of the psalm. In the case of this verse, however, the author seems to be talking about staying pure, and obeying your word is certainly foundational for that to happen.
  • 10 I have tried hard to find you—don’t let me wander from your commands. – This makes me think of the last verse for “Come Thou Fount:” Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it. Prone to leave the one I love. Here’s my heart, Lord, take and seal it. Seal it for thy courts above. Why am I prone to wander? Why did I even dread sitting with you in prayer this morning? Why, oh why?
  • 11 I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. – I will say that the more I spend time with you and give your Spirit room to grow in me the less I find myself sinning. Oh, I sin. Don’t get me wrong. But not nearly as much. I am much more loving than I used to be, and I can see it growing almost every day.
  • 12 I praise you, O Lord; teach me your decrees. – Continue to teach me. Teach me through these times. Teach me through people you raise up in my life. Give me ears to hear. Help me to not see someone and prejudicially assume they have nothing to teach me. Or that I am more mature, older, smarter, etc. than them because they truth is I am a flawed, ignorant man who has a lot to learn.
  • 13 I have recited aloud all the regulations you have given us. – I wonder if I should memorize scripture more (or at all). I am certainly willing to share with others what you are teaching me. Should I be doing more to engrain it in my heart?
  • 14 I have rejoiced in your laws as much as in riches. – Oh, I hope it’s more than in riches. Now, this is easy for me to say as I sit on vacation because it took some amount of riches to be here. I know a lot of people who cannot afford something like this. But I certainly don’t pursue riches. But how much do I rejoice in your laws? I think I do. I hope I do.
  • 15 I will study your commandments and reflect on your ways. – This is what it’s all about. Reflecting your ways. I want to impact the world as much as I can through my little life, but I want to do it as your servant and your child. I want to do it through my love for you. Help me to share you better.
  • 16 I will delight in your decrees and not forget your word. – I would say the theme for Beth is about learning your word and reflecting it/you to the world. Help me to do that today.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on July 23, 2025 in Psalm 119, Psalms

 

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Psalm 119: 1-8 (Aleph)

22 Jul

Aleph

1 Joyful are people of integrity,
    who follow the instructions of the Lord.
2 Joyful are those who obey his laws
    and search for him with all their hearts.
3 They do not compromise with evil,
    and they walk only in his paths.
4 You have charged us
    to keep your commandments carefully.
5 Oh, that my actions would consistently
    reflect your decrees!
6 Then I will not be ashamed
    when I compare my life with your commands.
7 As I learn your righteous regulations,
    I will thank you by living as I should!
8 I will obey your decrees.
    Please don’t give up on me!

Psalm 119:1-8

Dear God, I want to continue this journey through Psalm 119 by doubling back and starting at the beginning. As a reminder to myself, I went back and read the description of this psalm: This psalm is a Hebrew acrostic poem; there are twenty-two stanzas, one for each successive letter of the Hebrew alphabet. Each of the eight verses within each stanza begins with the Hebrew letter named in its heading. So I’m at the beginning. It’s going to take me three weeks to get through these if I do one section a day. That’s good. I need to somehow sit with this piece of art in bite-sized chunks so I can see what you might have for me through it. So were we go, verse by verse:

  • 1 Joyful are people of integrity, who follow the instructions of the Lord. – My first thought when I read this first verse was that this would be a psalm of “orientation” (as opposed to “disorientation” and “reorientation”). Life is good. Logically, this should make sense. It doesn’t always work this way. Sometimes I can have integrity and follow your instructions and still experience sorrow. But for the most part, this is true. If I don’t follow your instructions and have integrity, My life will, at a minimum, ring hollow, and, at a maximum, lead to my empty destruction.
  • 2 Joyful are those who obey his laws and search for him with all their hearts. – Searching for you with all of my heart is an interesting concept. Do I search for you? Is that what I’m doing even now as I type this prayer to you? Am I searching for you? Is that what I did yesterday when I listened to the instruction by N.T. Wright or listened to Christian music? What does it look like to search for you? That’s a good question.
  • 3 They do not compromise with evil, and they walk only in his paths. – Oh, my! What does it mean to compromise with evil? I am sure I compromise with evil every day. I wonder what the real difference is between compromising with evil and living in the world but not of it. There are things about this world I enjoy. To quote Rich Mullins in his song “Land of my Sojourn:” Nobody tells you when you get born here how much you’ll come to love it and how you’ll never belong here, so I’ll call you my country, but I’ll be lonely for my home. There are some things the world offers that I love. Mainly in the area of music and movies/television. Do I cross a line of compromising with evil when I indulge in some of it? I suppose it depends on what the evil looks like and what compromising looks like. There is a lot of secular stuff that is not evil. Help me to know how to walk only in your path.
  • 4 You have charged us to keep your commandments carefully. – This is interesting because all of us pick and choose which commandments to follow and which ones to ignore. When I read The Year of Living Biblically last year, it was a good reminder of just how selective I am with your commands. And I don’t think that’s necessarily wrong because Jesus introduced a freedom from following some of the laws. But what I really want to do is look at the Sermon on the Mount and consider Jesus’s admonition to obey the law to its fullest spirit and not just its most minimal letter: “You have heard it said…, but I say…”
  • 5 Oh, that my actions would consistently reflect your decrees! – One of my biggest desires is that my actions would reflect who I am in you. That I would be the same person in the depths of my heart that I show people publicly. I know I wrote about this a few weeks ago, but what pleased me most about the DISC personality analysis I did a few weeks ago was the consistency between who others say I am vs. how I see myself vs. who I am in a crisis. The only real difference was that, in a crisis, I leaned even harder into who I am. The big question is, do people see me reflecting your decrees and who you are through who I am? Oh, how I hope so.
  • 6 Then I will not be ashamed when I compare my life with your commands. – There is something to be said for a clear conscience. I don’t like it when I feel guilt for something. Or I have a secret of which I’m ashamed. I’m convinced that secrets of which we are ashamed is the crux of how Satan controls us. Help me to live with a clear conscience. Honestly, I think living with a clear conscience is the best way to be consistent between my public persona and who I am in my most private moments.
  • 7 As I learn your righteous regulations, I will thank you by living as I should! – How can I ever thank you enough? How can I ever tell you I love you enough? How can I ever repay you for everything you’ve done for me? The answer to all three of those questions is that I can’t. But one thing I can do is do my best to reflect you to the world and not bring shame on you. Oh, please help me to do this.
  • 8 I will obey your decrees. Please don’t give up on me! – I just love these last words: “Please don’t give up on me!” Yes, Father, I will fail you. I will anger you. I will disappoint you. I will hurt you and others. But please keep with me. Please don’t give up on me. Help me to continue, even in this day, to obey your decrees, love you with all I have, love everyone you put in my path, and represent you well to a world that needs you. Please, don’t give up on me.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on July 22, 2025 in Psalm 119, Psalms

 

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Psalm 119:25-32 (Daleth)

21 Jul

Daleth

25 I lie in the dust;
    revive me by your word.
26 I told you my plans, and you answered.
    Now teach me your decrees.
27 Help me understand the meaning of your commandments,
    and I will meditate on your wonderful deeds.
28 I weep with sorrow;
    encourage me by your word.
29 Keep me from lying to myself;
    give me the privilege of knowing your instructions.
30 I have chosen to be faithful;
    I have determined to live by your regulations.
31 I cling to your laws.
    Lord, don’t let me be put to shame!
32 I will pursue your commands,
    for you expand my understanding.

Psalm 119:25-32

Dear God, there is so much depth in this section of Psalm 119, I think what I want to do is break it up verse by verse and sit with each one.

  • 25 I lie in the dust; revive me by your word. – Whenever I try to do it myself I end up back at myself which leads to death. Just returning me to dust. Only your presence and relationship with you can lift me beyond my fallen humanity and into what you originally created me to be in Genesis 1. Fill me with your word. Your presence. Your Holy Spirit.
  • 26 I told you my plans, and you answered. Now teach me your decrees. – My plans must seem so silly to you. Even now, I have things I want to do and accomplish professionally as well as privately. I want to be part of the alumni group for Christian Men’s Life Skills. I want to grow the facility we are in and work to touch the depths of people’s lives and not just the surface. I could go on and on. I have these plans. But the truth is, I am so fragile and ignorant. I don’t know what the next moment holds, much less the next day, week, month, year, or decade. Help me to take my eyes off of my plans and help me to simply learn more of you and your decrees in this moment.
  • 27 Help me understand the meaning of your commandments, and I will meditate on your wonderful deeds. – I wonder what the psalmist meant by understanding the meaning of your commandments. I know where my head went. My head went to not just spouting off your laws and commandments at people and chastising them for not obeying you, but loving them through the meaning of your commandments. Don’t just say, “Don’t lie!” but instead talk to them about how the truth is good for them and lies harm them and others. The why. Don’t just say, “Take a Sabbath day!” but help them to understand the need for rest that you have baked into each of us. This goes into every issue the church faces today, including the LGBTQ issue. I’m frustrated with the American church in that it spouts off on the command and doesn’t seem to understand its why. When they do that, it just comes across as mean and judgmental. Help me to understand the meaning of your commandments.
  • 28 I weep with sorrow; encourage me by your word. – How did the psalmist understand the meaning of your word? For me, I am interpreting it as not only scripture, but the still small voice you use to speak to me within my soul as I spend time with you. It is the words of Christians who speak to me. It is what I read or listen to, both secular and spiritual. It is the discernment the Holy Spirit gives me as I take in the world around me. And there are times I weep with sorrow. Just two weeks ago, I was talking to my wife about a shared pain we both have, and I just started crying on her. Sorrow is in me. Help me to be comforted and encouraged by your word.
  • 29 Keep me from lying to myself; give me the privilege of knowing your instructions. – This is so good! Keep me from lying to myself. Powerful! Yes, I lie to myself. Sometimes, I take my own thoughts and agenda and ascribe your word to them and justify them as your will for me. Sometimes, I get defensive and self-righteous and tell myself that I’ve been wronged and I have rights that must seek justice. But in those moments I’m lying to myself. Teach me and help me to know your instructions.
  • 30 I have chosen to be faithful; I have determined to live by your regulations. – It almost seems like this verse should have come before the last one. I do choose faithfulness, but please help me to keep from lying to myself. And teach me to be disciplined to follow you.
  • 31 I cling to your laws. Lord, don’t let me be put to shame! – Lord, if I am to be put to shame, let it be for clinging to your laws. If that is the shame I experience then I will gladly accept it. But help me to not let go of your laws and find shame down the path of my own sin. That’s what I desperately don’t want, but I don’t want it for your sake. I don’t want to bring shame upon you. While I’m thinking about it, give me mercy for those who do claim you but follow their own path into sin. Help me to know how to help them and love them back into you.
  • 32 I will pursue your commands, for you expand my understanding. – I need you. The only way I can make my small, small, small life count for the few year I have on this earth is to lean into you, get to know you and become like you as much as I can, and then let you use me how you will. But to do that, I need to not only pursue your commands, but I need to do it with the spirit of expanding my understanding of you and then letting that flow into the world around me.

Father, I got a lot out of that this morning. Thank you for this one section of this psalm. I might just go back and do the same thing, section by section, for this whole psalm on this vacation I’m currently on. Walk with me today. Walk with my wife and our friends today. Watch over and heal those I love. Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as well.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on July 21, 2025 in Psalm 119, Psalms

 

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Psalm 119:1-8

18 Jul

Psalm 119[a]

Aleph

1 Joyful are people of integrity,
    who follow the instructions of the Lord.
2 Joyful are those who obey his laws
    and search for him with all their hearts.
3 They do not compromise with evil,
    and they walk only in his paths.
4 You have charged us
    to keep your commandments carefully.
5 Oh, that my actions would consistently
    reflect your decrees!
6 Then I will not be ashamed
    when I compare my life with your commands.
7 As I learn your righteous regulations,
    I will thank you by living as I should!
8 I will obey your decrees.
    Please don’t give up on me!

Dear God, verse 7 was the verse of the day on Bible Gateway, but it actually really works for this psalm to be a scripture I look at for today because I am going to the Poetry Society of Texas Annual Summer Conference tonight in Denton with my wife and this psalm has a special poetic dimension to it. The note that goes with the [a] next to the psalm title says, “This psalm is a Hebrew acrostic poem; there are twenty-two stanzas, one for each successive letter of the Hebrew alphabet. Each of the eight verses within each stanza begins with the Hebrew letter named in its heading.” I’m not going to do all 22 stanzas this morning, but I thought I would at least look at the stanza that includes verse 7.

Now, back to this passage. I participated in the graduation for the Christian Men’s Life Skills class last night, and it was remarkable. What has blown me away is the relationships between the men and how much some of them are clinging to this and to you right now. They are hungry and they need fed. The seeds planted are looking for good soil in which to take root. These verses reflect the state of many of their hearts right now. Of course the rains will fall. The wind will blow. When they come, will they come against lives that are established with deep roots? I pray for their roots right now. I pray for their soil. I pray that you will also help me to weed my own soil. Help your seeds to find good soil in me and develop deep roots.

Father, I have the words to “I Need Thee Every Hour” and its chorus going through my head: “I need thee, oh I need thee. Every hour I need thee. O bless me now, my Savior. I come to thee.” Bless me, my savior. Bless these men. Bless their families. We need thee every hour.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on July 18, 2025 in Psalms

 

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Psalm 102:1

08 Apr

Psalm 102

A prayer of one overwhelmed with trouble, pouring out problems before the Lord.

1 Lord, hear my prayer!
    Listen to my plea!

Psalm 102:1

Dear God, I wanted to capture not only the verse that Sr. Miriam highlighted today in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation, but also include the description of the psalm given to us by scripture. As I think about the pervasive problem in my life that I have poured out to you for well over a decade now, I can say that I’m actually tired of it. I’m tired of praying about it. I’m tired of lamenting it. I’m tired of the pain that I’m addressing when I pray about it. I’m tired of the pain I feel from it. To some extent, I feel hopeless about it, and my prayer feels fruitless.

It’s that last one that gives me pause and want to un-say all of the rest of the things I just said. Has the prayer really been fruitless? I don’t know that it has done anything to make the situation any better or the pain any less, but I can say that it has affected me. It has changed me. I’ve discovered things about myself and about you that I didn’t know 10 or 15 years ago. I’m better now. I’m also more sensitive to the pain of others. The fire has refined me. The breaking has allowed you to put me back together in a better way.

It’s interesting to get older and feel legitimately closer to death. I’m still relatively young and likely have decades ahead of me, but I’m just feeling the slippage of time in a way I didn’t used to. I think part of my pain now is that I don’t know if the situation over which I lament will be resolved in my lifetime. Will I die with this pain and disappointment?

So now I need to think about the forgiveness part of this lament. The hurt I’m experiencing was caused by the actions of many, including my own. Do I forgive the actions of the others? Do I forgive myself?

Father, that is part of this process too: Forgiveness. I need to remember that the sorrow comes from some situation, and my mind is probably blaming someone for that situation, including myself. Help me to identify what needs to be forgiven in others and myself, and help me to not only extend that forgiveness, but then know how to and how not to act on that forgiveness. Where do I draw the line? Help me get there.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 8, 2025 in Psalms, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Psalm 116:3-4

05 Apr

3 Death wrapped its ropes around me;
    the terrors of the grave overtook me.
    I saw only trouble and sorrow.
4 Then I called on the name of the Lord:
    “Please, Lord, save me!”

Psalm 116:3-4

Dear god, I happened to read a verse out of Revelation this morning when I was looking something up, and it makes me think of these verses from Psalm 116. The passage in Revelation was Revelation 12:11: “And they have defeated him by the blood of the lamb and by their testimony. And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die.”

Death is such an interesting thing for us. And it’s a hazy mystery. As much as we had to go through birth to get here, we will go through death to leave. And what will happen then? I mean we have some ideas of heaven and even hell, but none of us REALLY knows what will happen. Once a soul is born, can it be killed, or does it really exist forever? Honestly, for the sake of those who are not brought into your kingdom, I hope a soul can just die. Why torment it forever?

So this all brings me back to these two verses from Psalm 116 that Sister Miriam highlights in today’s entry in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation. To add context two them, here they are again, but this time with the two verses that preceded and followed them:

1 I love the Lord because he hears my voice
    and my prayer for mercy.
2 Because he bends down to listen,
    I will pray as long as I have breath!
3 Death wrapped its ropes around me;
    the terrors of the grave[a] overtook me.
    I saw only trouble and sorrow.
4 Then I called on the name of the Lord:
    “Please, Lord, save me!”
5 How kind the Lord is! How good he is!
    So merciful, this God of ours!
6 The Lord protects those of childlike faith;
    I was facing death, and he saved me.

A psalm of reorientation. God is good! Things were bad and I called for saving. God protected me. God is good!

Here’s something I like from Sister Miriam’s commentary today:

The bearing of wrongs, not with bitterness or numbness but with patience, is a great and crucifying gift. It means that there is a real way to freedom and restoration through suffering and the wrongs that others inflict upon us. It means that there is resurrection even in experiences of death.

Father, I have been wronged and I have wronged others. Help me to know how to apologize for the wrongs I have done to others, and help me to heal from the wrongs done to me through grace and mercy given by me to them. Where there has been pain, don’t let it be wasted. And sometimes the pains are just from life. I have a friend who lost his wife one year ago today. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, but it left it’s mark. It was a long, hard illness that exacted a toll from him. It still hurts for him. Where there is pain, bring healing. Where there is healing, use the scars to help us know how to help you heal others. In his song “First Family,” Rich Mullins talks about his parents losing a son: “But the pain didn’t leave them crippled. Only scars that made them strong.” Heal my would into scars, and use my scars for your glory.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 5, 2025 in Psalms, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Psalm 51

29 Mar

Psalm 51

For the choir director: A psalm of David, regarding the time Nathan the prophet came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

1 Have mercy on me, O God,
    because of your unfailing love.
Because of your great compassion,
    blot out the stain of my sins.
2 Wash me clean from my guilt.
    Purify me from my sin.
3 For I recognize my rebellion;
    it haunts me day and night.
4 Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;
    I have done what is evil in your sight.
You will be proved right in what you say,
    and your judgment against me is just.
5 For I was born a sinner—
    yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.
6 But you desire honesty from the womb,
    teaching me wisdom even there.

7 Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean;
    wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Oh, give me back my joy again;
    you have broken me—
    now let me rejoice.
9 Don’t keep looking at my sins.
    Remove the stain of my guilt.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God.
    Renew a loyal spirit within me.
11 Do not banish me from your presence,
    and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
    and make me willing to obey you.
13 Then I will teach your ways to rebels,
    and they will return to you.
14 Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves;
    then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness.
15 Unseal my lips, O Lord,
    that my mouth may praise you.

16 You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one.
    You do not want a burnt offering.
17 The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.
    You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.
18 Look with favor on Zion and help her;
    rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will be pleased with sacrifices offered in the right spirit—
    with burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings.
    Then bulls will again be sacrificed on your altar.

Dear God, it’s so remarkable we have any of this. That David’s sin was known, recorded, and then maintained in a way that I would know about it today. That David was confronted and humiliated by Nathan. And then to not only know that he repented of his sin, but that his repentance, at least in part, is recorded in this psalm. He was not only broken, but he vulnerably shared his brokenness with the world at the time and the world for all time. They took this repentant psalm, labeled it for exactly what it was, and then gave it to the Israelites to use when they had their own repentance to do. Like I said, it’s remarkable.

I guess the two questions I have this morning are, 1.) how good am I at truly searching my heart and repenting and 2.) how willing am I to publicly repent and give others not only an example of a flawed fellow sojourner but also an example of what to do about it?

Scale of 1-10, I would say I’m about a 5 on searching my soul and heart, discerning the sin in my life, and then repenting. One thing I’ll say about the “reconciliation” (i.e., confession) in Catholicism is that it makes you think about it, name it, and then claim it out loud to another person. I don’t believe it is something that has to be done for absolution from you, but I can see the value in it. As for my “Baptist” way of doing it, it can awfully easy to take the light approach and just think of something, tell you I’m sorry about that, and then not think of it anymore.

Regarding sharing my sin with others, I would say it depends on the sin. If it’s something that I’m really ashamed of, I just keep those between you and me. But should I? Should I be more open about sharing all of me with others? For my sake as well as theirs.

Father, as I search my heart and soul this morning, I can feel the sin of self-pity that I’ve given a special space in my heart to occupy. I also feel the sin of selfishness and lethargy. The sin of unintentionality. I am too unintentional about some of my activities, and that leads to slothfulness. I’d love to say I’m just doing “Sabbath” when I’m being slothful, but that’s not really what I’m doing. I’m just being selfish. I will claim some victory over some temptations I’ve had recently that you enabled me to withstand. But there are others that I’ve jumped right into. Undue anger. Judgment of others. Slander. I am sorry. I am really sorry. Help me to be intentional today about Sabbath, worship, loving others, and the work you’ve given me to do, even in my rest.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 29, 2025 in Psalms, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Psalm 119:133

26 Mar

133 Establish my footsteps in Your word,
And do not let any iniquity have dominion over me.

Psalm 119:133

Dear God, the last part of this one verse is so powerful. My iniquities and their influence over my life is a concept that overwhelms and humbles me. How many of the frustrations I’m experiencing now are a result of my iniquities? My sins?

It doesn’t say that David wrote this psalm, but my first thought goes to David and how his dalliance with Bathsheba (rape?) and then murder of Uriah seems to be the touchstone for his family problems later. That iniquity, though repented of in Psalm 51, seemed to have dominion over the rest of his life and even flowed into history. Amnon was the rightful heir to the throne, but Absalom killed him, led a revolt that ultimately led to his death. And Solomon would never have existed if not for David’s relationship with Bathsheba.

So, what can I pray for this morning? Well, somehow, Solomon was the pathway to Jesus through lineage. There was redemption for this somewhere down the line. Can you somehow use the ripples of the sins I’ve committed to do something positive in this world? Can you protect me from my iniquities and keep them from having dominion over me?

Father, I want to be at peace with the sorrows in my life. I can see where I made mistakes that played a role in my current sorrows, but I still don’t know how I ended up in them to the level I’m at. And it hurts. I hurt. So please be in these situations. Don’t let my mistakes and sins (sometimes mistakes aren’t sins) have dominion over me, the ones I love, or the plans you have for us. Help me to know the path forward, which starts with my very next step.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 26, 2025 in Psalms, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Psalm 84:2

24 Mar

2 My soul longs, indeed it faints,
    for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and my flesh sing for joy
    to the living God.

Psalm 84:2

Dear God, of course, things like this aren’t written and published on a whim. The psalmist isn’t correcting himself in the first line of this verse. He’s communicating intentionally. It’s like a P.S. at the end of a fundraising letter. The marketing person didn’t forget to tell you something in a letter that was reviewed and edited multiple times before it was sent. The P.S. is intentional to communicate an emotional punctuation at the end of the letter. The same is true for this first line of this verse. I just looked at about five different translations, and while they didn’t all say it like this, they all communicated some sort of emphasis about a desperation for you.

Do I feel that desperate this morning, or am I just going through the motions? If I search my heart honestly, I can see where there is a part of me that is going through the motions, but I am going through these motions because I know that I need you today. I need you this morning. I need you this hour. I need you in this moment. Who am I without you? You created me, and you want relationship with me. I am more than happy to oblige because you teach me love and forgiveness. You teach me your ways. You teach me about you.

In today’s entry from Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation, Sister Miriam focuses on how we long for the thing(s) we gave up during lent as we fast from them, and then talked about replacing the longing for that particular thing to our longing for you. Am I as desperate for you as I am for the thing I gave up for Lent? If I were to give you up for Lent–time with you, prayer, church, podcasts, Bible, music, etc.–who would I be by Easter? I shutter to think.

Father, I love you. I need you. I cannot do this without you. Love others through me. Show me how to offer reconciliation with you to those around me. I am yours. Thank you for being mine.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 24, 2025 in Psalms, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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