Now the Spirit of the Lord came upon Jephthah, so that he passed through Gilead and Manasseh; then he passed through Mizpah of Gilead, and from Mizpah of Gilead he went on to the sons of Ammon. Jephthah made a vow to the Lord and said, “If You will indeed give the sons of Ammon into my hand, then it shall be that whatever comes out of the doors of my house to meet me when I return in peace from the sons of Ammon, it shall be the Lord’s, and I will offer it up as a burnt offering.” So Jephthah crossed over to the sons of Ammon to fight against them; and the Lord gave them into his hand. He struck them with a very great slaughter from Aroer to the entrance of Minnith, twenty cities, and as far as Abel-keramim. So the sons of Ammon were subdued before the sons of Israel. When Jephthah came to his house at Mizpah, behold, his daughter was coming out to meet him with tambourines and with dancing. Now she was his one and only child; besides her he had no son or daughter. When he saw her, he tore his clothes and said, “Alas, my daughter! You have brought me very low, and you are among those who trouble me; for I have given my word to the Lord, and I cannot take it back.” So she said to him, “My father, you have given your word to the Lord; do to me as you have said, since the Lord has avenged you of your enemies, the sons of Ammon.” She said to her father, “Let this thing be done for me; let me alone two months, that I may go to the mountains and weep because of my virginity, I and my companions.” Then he said, “Go.” So he sent her away for two months; and she left with her companions, and wept on the mountains because of her virginity. At the end of two months she returned to her father, who did to her according to the vow which he had made; and she had no relations with a man. Thus it became a custom in Israel, that the daughters of Israel went yearly to commemorate the daughter of Jephthah the Gileadite four days in the year.
Judges 11:29-40
Dear God, I had forgotten about this story, but my wife remembered it for me. Maybe, as a woman, it had left a stronger impression on her than it did me.
I think men were prone to making stupid vows back then. Saul gets in trouble with a vow he makes later in 1 Samuel that almost causes him to kill his son Jonathan. In this case, I understand that Jephthah was trying to tell you that he would be willing to sacrifice anything he holds dear, but is that really what you required. He was obviously willing because he followed through with it, but it sure would have been nice if you’d sent him a ram like to you sent to Abraham when he was about to sacrifice Isaac.
As for me, my children’s lives are not mine to sacrifice. I can sacrifice my own life. I can sacrifice my possessions. I can sacrifice my time. I can sacrifice my career. But my children’s lives are theirs and they are yours. I suppose this is a weird cultural thing that made sense to them that doesn’t make sense to me.
On the other hand, I was with a church study group last night, and one of the things we talked about was allowing our children to live their own lives and not trying to direct their lives or live through them. Now that is something that can be a struggle for some. Frankly, I think you burned that tendency out of my wife and me over the last 23 years through some of the trials we endured as parents. I don’t feel any desire to direct the paths my children take beyond praying for them that they will find their peace in relationship with you. But I can’t make them make that decision. It is theirs to make.
Father, help me to be exactly who you need me to be for my daughter and for my son. Help me to be who you need me to be for my wife as well as we parent our children. I’ve willing to do anything for them–at least I think I am. Make my role in their life clear to me and to them so that you might be as glorified as possible through all of us.
In Jesus’s name I pray,
Amen
Emails to God 