Before each young woman was taken to the king’s bed, she was given the prescribed twelve months of beauty treatments—six months with oil of myrrh, followed by six months with special perfumes and ointments. When it was time for her to go to the king’s palace, she was given her choice of whatever clothing or jewelry she wanted to take from the harem. That evening she was taken to the king’s private rooms, and the next morning she was brought to the second harem, where the king’s wives lived. There she would be under the care of Shaashgaz, the king’s eunuch in charge of the concubines. She would never go to the king again unless he had especially enjoyed her and requested her by name. Esther was the daughter of Abihail, who was Mordecai’s uncle. (Mordecai had adopted his younger cousin Esther.) When it was Esther’s turn to go to the king, she accepted the advice of Hegai, the eunuch in charge of the harem. She asked for nothing except what he suggested, and she was admired by everyone who saw her. Esther was taken to King Xerxes at the royal palace in early winter of the seventh year of his reign. And the king loved Esther more than any of the other young women. He was so delighted with her that he set the royal crown on her head and declared her queen instead of Vashti. To celebrate the occasion, he gave a great banquet in Esther’s honor for all his nobles and officials, declaring a public holiday for the provinces and giving generous gifts to everyone.
Esther 2:12-18
Dear God, I don’t know that I have much to say about the story of Esther in this, but I was thumbing through this book this morning, and I noticed something in Bustard’s image of King Ahasuerus. He looks pensive and unassuming. He looks nervous and gentle. He looks unsure of himself. I haven’t yet read Bustard’s description of his work, but what it makes me think of is a man who, no matter what he looks like on the outside is something totally different on the inside. I guess it’s not common for people, men or women, to be completely transparent and let people see what they are experiencing on the inside. The veneer is too important.
It also makes me think of dogmatic Christians. It finally occurred to me a few months ago that the more confident someone appears that they are right about something–especially theologically, but it applies across topics–the more they are likely unsure about that very thing. For example, if I am the type of person that says every word in the Bible has to be factually accurate then it is likely that my brain needs that to be true because I am afraid everything I believe about you will unravel if it’s not true. So the fact that there are two creation stories in Genesis 1 and Genesis 2 just needs to be ignored. Who was the woman Cain married and where did she come from? I shouldn’t stop and consider that either. When and how did Davis meet Saul? Was it the Goliath story (1 Samuel 17:55) or had he met him before as his harpist (1 Samuel 16:21)?
So now that I’ve pointed the finger at others, how am I like the king in this picture? How am I like the dogmatic Christian whose faith might be more fragile than even they realize? I think the biggest mistake I sometimes make is thinking that I need to understand you to worship you. I need to understand myself completely before I can live effectively for you. Frankly, that’s not what Jesus tells me I need to do. Who are usually the most carefree people? Unless they’ve experienced some sort of trauma, it is children. They don’t understand their parents. They don’t even understand themselves or their motivations. And sure, they aren’t good at loving their neighbors as themselves, but whenever they learn to do it they are happy. And they are happy when they love their parents.
Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, I don’t even understand how the Trinity of your consubstantial oneness works. But I don’t have to to worship you. The king in this image with Esther is depicted as unsure of himself even though he probably did not physically portray that in his body language. Help me to reduce the facades I have built as much as possible. Not that it’s not appropriate to have some things about me I don’t show others, but for the most part my life is the most useful to you when I am the most transparent. So help me to be that. Forgive me for my pride. For my arrogance. For not loving you and loving others the way I should. Lead me today. Do it all for your glory.
I pray all of them through the mercy afforded to my by Jesus’s blood,
Amen
Emails to God 