1 Joseph threw himself on his father and wept over him and kissed him. 2 Then Joseph directed the physicians in his service to embalm his father Israel. So the physicians embalmed him, 3 taking a full forty days, for that was the time required for embalming. And the Egyptians mourned for him seventy days.
4 When the days of mourning had passed, Joseph said to Pharaoh’s court, “If I have found favor in your eyes, speak to Pharaoh for me. Tell him, 5 ‘My father made me swear an oath and said, “I am about to die; bury me in the tomb I dug for myself in the land of Canaan.” Now let me go up and bury my father; then I will return.’”
6 Pharaoh said, “Go up and bury your father, as he made you swear to do.”
7 So Joseph went up to bury his father. All Pharaoh’s officials accompanied him—the dignitaries of his court and all the dignitaries of Egypt— 8 besides all the members of Joseph’s household and his brothers and those belonging to his father’s household. Only their children and their flocks and herds were left in Goshen. 9 Chariots and horsemen also went up with him. It was a very large company.
10 When they reached the threshing floor of Atad, near the Jordan, they lamented loudly and bitterly; and there Joseph observed a seven-day period of mourning for his father. 11 When the Canaanites who lived there saw the mourning at the threshing floor of Atad, they said, “The Egyptians are holding a solemn ceremony of mourning.” That is why that place near the Jordan is called Abel Mizraim.
12 So Jacob’s sons did as he had commanded them: 13 They carried him to the land of Canaan and buried him in the cave in the field of Machpelah, near Mamre, which Abraham had bought along with the field as a burial place from Ephron the Hittite. 14 After burying his father, Joseph returned to Egypt, together with his brothers and all the others who had gone with him to bury his father.
Dear God, it strikes me in this story that Joseph officially mourned his father’s passing for at least 90 days (70 days of mourning in Egypt, a couple of weeks traveling to the burial site, and then a solid week after they arrived before they placed him with his fathers. There were probably more days in there than that, but we know from this account that it was at least 90 days.
My wife described the Jewish traditions for mourning death several years ago, and I remember her telling me that their tradition seems to have a much more realistic and healthy way of mourning. Without remembering the details, what I do remember is that they give the person who lost their loved one a long time to get over it. They are given space, and even permission, to grieve.
When my wife lost her mother almost 20 months ago she went into her mother’s death expecting to be prepared and adjusted because her mother had been sick for a while. She is continually surprised that she still feels the pain so acutely this many months later. She feels like she should be over it by now. She thought the pain would be, if not gone, then almost totally diminished much sooner than this.
Then, a few weeks ago, my brother-in-law lost his father. He had been sick for a while as well, and yet I think it surprised him to see how hard it was for him to lose his father.
Father, I think that our modern American Christian culture needs to learn how to mourn the loss of our loved ones. There is probably something we can learn from other cultures, including the Jews. In fact, I just found this web site that outlines the Jewish mourning process: http://www.uscj.org/soeast/columbus/mourning_custom.htm Help me to be the resource that my friends and family need me to be in their times of mourning, and help me in my times of mourning. Be glorified in me and give all of us peace as we make our ways through life.
Emails to God 