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Tag Archives: Jealousy

Numbers 11:24-30

So Moses went out and reported the Lord’s words to the people. He gathered the seventy elders and stationed them around the Tabernacle. And the Lord came down in the cloud and spoke to Moses. Then he gave the seventy elders the same Spirit that was upon Moses. And when the Spirit rested upon them, they prophesied. But this never happened again.

Two men, Eldad and Medad, had stayed behind in the camp. They were listed among the elders, but they had not gone out to the Tabernacle. Yet the Spirit rested upon them as well, so they prophesied there in the camp. A young man ran and reported to Moses, “Eldad and Medad are prophesying in the camp!”

Joshua son of Nun, who had been Moses’ assistant since his youth, protested, “Moses, my master, make them stop!”

But Moses replied, “Are you jealous for my sake? I wish that all the Lord’s people were prophets and that the Lord would put his Spirit upon them all!” Then Moses returned to the camp with the elders of Israel.
Numbers 11:24-30

Dear God, I wonder if I could consider this attitude “sibling rivalry.” This is the Old Testament reading for many churches today. The Gospel reading in Mark 9 has the apostle John doing something similar in verse 38 when he tells Jesus he saw someone casting out demons in Jesus’s name and John told him to stop because he wasn’t part of their group. And this is after John witnessed the Transfiguration earlier in Mark 9. It’s also immediately after Jesus got onto the disciples about arguing over who would be the greatest in your kingdom. How could they do this?!?

And of course, this is when I look at myself and think about how I do this. I want to be considered to be the best Christian. I want to be more devout than someone else. I want to be wiser. I want to be more Christlike. I want to be more Godly. Me, me, me. Funny how I was praying yesterday about selfish ambition vs. humble ambition. I think this reveals my selfish heart.

I remember a few weeks ago, I was thinking about a man in our town who is very Godly. He is a humble, gentle spirt. Probably the most gentle man I know. He exudes your wisdom, peace, and presence. For anonymity for anyone reading this, I won’t list his job here, but he is not a church pastor and yet he might be the most Christlike person I know here. The reason I bring him up is because when I thought about him a few weeks ago, and I was thinking about him in this way, I felt a pang of jealousy in me. Now, if I am responding sinfully like Joshua and John, then I guess that at least puts me in good company, but it is still sin. It is still selfish ambition. I want to be known as the best Christian. Sure, I might now want credit for deeds I do, but for who I am, I want to be known as the best. So sad.

Father, I really do appreciate this man. And the most beautiful part about his is that he probably wouldn’t even think of himself in this way. I know he has struggles in his life. I know he is trying to figure out your call on him on a daily basis just like I am. I know he gets confused in difficult situations. I’m not saying he is Jesus. In fact, what I’m saying is that he is absolutely not Jesus, but he is humble enough to know that, pursue you with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength and then love others as himself. The fruits of your Spirit exude through him because of this attitude. I repent that I, for even one moment, felt jealous of him. That I had any thoughts of him that were not pure appreciation and admiration. I am sorry for thinking I have to be anything than your child who loves you, worships you, and surrenders his life to you.

I pray all of this through Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

Ecclesiastes 4:4-6

21 Jun

4 Then I observed that most people are motivated to success because they envy their neighbors. But this, too, is meaningless—like chasing the wind.

5 “Fools fold their idle hands,
leading them to ruin.”

6 And yet,

“Better to have one handful with quietness
than two handfuls with hard work
and chasing the wind.”
Ecclesiastes 4:4-6

Dear God, this kind of follows up on yesterday’s prayer. I heard it in an Andy Stanley sermon I listened to while I was on a bike ride last night. I wonder at what point Solomon emerged from this wisdom of pitying the oppressed and into being an oppressor. I was watching an interview with a movie star this morning and she mentioned that she had won her first major award at 26. She was young and pretty. But then, as she put it, people started to “remove obstacles” from her and she began to take advantage of being a star. Her father sat down with her at one point and told her, you’re becoming an ***hole. She said that she is now a believer in all of our need to have obstacles in front of us. It seems to me that she might be right in that the removal of obstacles from Solomon’s life became a detriment to the wisest man who ever lived.

All of that being said, there is a great message in these verses. When my drive for success is motivated by jealousy of and competition with others, then I will absolutely be chasing the wind. As Andy Stanley put it in the sermon, someone will always have an “er” over me. They will be smart-er, cut-er, rich-er, happi-er. They will have more successful children, better jobs, prettier homes, more fulfilling marriages, or whatever. I can’t chase them all. Better to focus on you and your call to me while ignoring all others. Following your call is the best way to find my contentment. Chasing the perceived success of someone else will only lead to exhaustion and emptiness.

Father, help me to be peacefully quiet. Help me to embrace all that you have for me today. Help me to bless others for their success and to care more about their peace and contentment than I do what they have that I don’t have. Help me to be an instrument of your peace in their lives.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

Hannah and Peninnah (and Elkanah) – 1 Samuel 1:1-8

02 Feb

[Photo from Revealed: A Storybook Bible for Grown-Ups By Ned Bustard. The artist is Erin Cross]

1 Samuel 1:1-8 NIV
[1] There was a certain man from Ramathaim, a Zuphite from the hill country of Ephraim, whose name was Elkanah son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite. [2] He had two wives; one was called Hannah and the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none. [3] Year after year this man went up from his town to worship and sacrifice to the Lord Almighty at Shiloh, where Hophni and Phinehas, the two sons of Eli, were priests of the Lord. [4] Whenever the day came for Elkanah to sacrifice, he would give portions of the meat to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters. [5] But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her, and the Lord had closed her womb. [6] Because the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. [7] This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. [8] Her husband Elkanah would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?”

Dear God, the first time I journaled on this story, I remember journaling about Elkanah’s ignorance of how women feel and how important things like this are. His question, “Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?” is absolutely foolish, but he really just didn’t know any better.

But the artist for this story is giving me something else. There is a focus on the meanness and vindictiveness of Peninnah that I’ve never spent much time with. And it’s interesting that I just used the word “vindictiveness.” Why did I use that word? Why does that word fit this story?

It is easy to make Peninnah the villain in this story, but in a lot of ways, as I sit here and think about it, she was really set up for failure. Was her attitude towards Hannah really that different than Sarah’s towards Hagar? Or probably Hagar towards Sarah for that matter. Marriage to multiple wives must have created some terrible dynamics. In this case:

Elkanah felt bad for Hannah so he gave her extra portions. Hannah was also probably more available to him because she didn’t have any kids impeding her life, so that might have helped her to be a favorite to Elkanah as well. Then there is Elkanah’s obvious need to be appreciated, as is evidenced by his last question.
Peninnah had the children, but she didn’t have Elkanah’s favor. And he apparently made that clear. The artist shows this with Peninnah holding the children while Elkanah holds a despondent Hannah.
Then there is Hannah. In a time when worth for women was measured by an ability to have children, she had no worth in society’s eyes (but she still had at least one thing in Peninnah’s eyes that Peninnah didn’t have), and Peninnah used Hannah’s weakness to get a little revenge for the pain she felt. Elkanah could not be everything Hannah needed.

In my own life, I see rivalries among coworkers, children, siblings…in fact, they are all around me. We all look for some sort of validation that affirms our place in the world, but rarely do we just look to you for that.

I used to think I could be everything my wife needed and I thought that she could be everything that I needed. I entered marriage in a very needy way, and it was oppressive to my wife. She could never meet all of my insecure needs. Then I started to figure out (I’m still learning) how to tap into you and derive my peace and joy from you. What would it have looked like if Peninnah and Hannah had been able to do the same? How much better will I be when I have completely learned to dive into you?

Father, help me to be sensitive to the motivations of others. When I see someone acting like Peninnah, help be to see the reason for their vindictiveness and not just assume they are evil and mean. Show me how I might take that knowledge and use it to be your minister to them and heal the hurts that are down deep. And help me to also examine my own heart when I find myself wanting to lash out. Show me the hurt that needs addressed and then help me to take that hurt, give it to you for your complete healing, and then strike back in love.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

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Posted by John D. Willome on February 2, 2019 in 1 Samuel, Revealed: A Storybook Bible for Grown-Ups

Tags: 1 Samuel, Elkanah, Hannah, Jealousy, Peninnah, Vindictiveness