If your instructions hadn’t sustained me with joy, I would have died in my misery.
Psalm 119:92
Dear God, this was the verse before the “verse of the day” from Bible Gateway. It really spoke to me this morning. There have been times when I have been completely miserable. Some of them in the last year. Some the last 10 years. Outside of the miscarriage my wife experienced 27 years ago, my most miserable moments in life have come in the last 10 years. But you were there. I don’t know that I would say your “instructions” sustained me with joy through these times, but you certainly sustained me.
There were two years when I didn’t do these journals to you. I didn’t walk away from you during that time, but my misery put me in a different place. I remember praying to you that I wasn’t mad, but I just couldn’t get myself there. Looking back, it reminds me of the poem “Footprints in the Sand” when the author Carolyn Carty says (quoting you):
“My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you.”
Father, Holy Spirit, thank you for walking with me. Thank you for sustaining me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for joy in the midst of misery. Thank you for using this misery for your good, for my good, and for the good of those I love even though most of the time I cannot see what you’re doing or how it is good. Thank you for being my comforter, my counselor, and my God. Thank you for giving me something bigger than myself. Thank you that I am not the center of the universe, but I am your grateful servant, ready to give everything to you.
I pray all of this through the Son, who lived, died and was resurrected for my redemption,
Amen
Emails to God 