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Psalm 19:12-14

16 Oct

But who can discern their own errors? Forgive my hidden faults. Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. Then I will be blameless, innocent of great transgression. May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Psalm 19:12-14

Dear God, here’s another verse (14) that is often taken out of context. And there’s nothing wrong with saying the words of that verse, but when you add the part about having unknown sin in my life and the the sins I knowingly commit, it gives even more meaning to verse 14. This isn’t just a declaration of intent, it is part of repentance. It is the turning, setting my face to the wind (I love the imagery of that phrase) and intentionally setting about ensuring these words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart will be pleasing to you. And you are not only my God and my rock. This is about repentance and you are my redeemer as well.

The meditations of my heart will often drive the words of my mouth. I was with some friends last night, and, well, it’s an election time and I noticed a meanness in them about one of the candidates. I could recognize it because I’ve had meanness about particular candidates in the past too, but for the most part I feel like I’ve gotten past a lot of it. I’m concerned and I have my opinions, but it feels like my opinions are becoming less and less important to me. On the other hand, there are some in my life towards whom I do feel legitimate and self-destructive anger. Do I allow my heart to meditate on that anger? Does that anger come out in my words? And I a terrible ambassador for you (in every way) when I do this? The answer to all of those questions is yes.

Father, I sin willfully and unknowingly. I am sorry for them all. I repent from them. May these words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 16, 2020 in Psalms

 

2 Samuel 7:22

15 Oct

22 “How great you are, O Sovereign Lord! There is no one like you. We have never even heard of another God like you!

2 Samuel 7:22

Dear God, really, who has ever heard of another God like you? I mean, there are a lot of similarities between your nature and who Muslims see you to be, but don’t we all go back to you, the God of Abraham?

So what makes you different? Well, you are one God (although I would add that you have three natures that make up the Trinity). You have demands for us, but you also offer a path to redemption. You don’t promise us greatness, but you promise us peace through selflessness. You take an active role in the world, and yet you give us our free will. And when I step back and wonder changes I would want to make to the God I worship, I can’t think of any. you are exactly who I need you to be. You are exactly who we all need you to be. Is there seemingly needless suffering that happens that I don’t understand? Yes. The biggest one is human trafficking–especially sex trafficking. I don’t understand. But I also don’t know what it would mean to have you do what would need to be done to eliminate it in your own power without us doing the work. And that leads to the question, why don’t we do the work?

Father, thank you. I worship you. I love you. I will sacrifice for you. I will work for you. But I will do my best to wait on you and do it through your inspiration, provision and blessing, and not out of my own strength.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 15, 2020 in 2 Samuel

 

Jeremiah 29:10-14

13 Oct

This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

Jeremiah 29:10-14

Dear God, you know I have a frustrating history with the one verse in this passage that is often taken out of context, but I’m going to put that aside and try to look at the forest for the trees here.

First, the you is not personal. You are not speaking to an individual in this passage because in 70 years no one listening to these words will be alive. No, you are speaking to the nation of Israel. Yes, you care about us as individuals, and I’ve been amazed at the details to which you seemed to have paid attention in my life–especially recently–but the plans you have are for Israel.

Second, we always seem to assume that our country can substitute for Israel in your eyes. And just to make sure, our country has always seen itself as Israel’s defender no matter what. It’s almost like we expect it will curry favor with you if we are good to them. And maybe it does. And maybe that is why we have been so favored. But it’s important to remember that we are not Israel.

At the same time, we are Gentiles who have been invited into your kingdom. Jesus’s sacrifice and resurrection provided that path. Thank you.

Third, we have work to do. We will humble ourselves and pray. We will call on you and you will heal our land. What does humbling ourselves look like? I have to say, at this point it feels like the Christian church on a national level has no idea what humbling ourselves looks like. We are striving for power and influence. We are striving for recognition. We are trying to take all of the traditional pathways to power and then let the philosophy of our faith guide our actions. There is nothing humble about it. There is nothing humble before you. There is nothing humble before our neighbors. There is nothing humble before our enemies. There is just self-righteousness, judgment, condemnation, and struggle for our rights. And it’s in me too. I’m very sorry.

Father, I don’t know what you will accomplish in this world during my lifetime, but it certainly feels like we are past the apex and in the decline. It feels like we are Rome crumbling. And maybe we are. And that is okay. That is the way of the world. The way of history. My faith is not in the United States government. My faith is not in the Baptist or Catholic Church. My faith is not in the Republican or Democratic parties. My faith is not in the market economy or my bank account. My faith is in you. Help me to worship you and humble myself before you. Help me to humble myself before my neighbors, family, friends, and enemies. Help me to let go of the judgment I feel towards others and offer compassion instead. Do it all for your glory. And I will accept whatever role you have for me to play in this world.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 13, 2020 in Jeremiah

 

Proverbs 1:8-9

12 Oct

Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.

Proverbs 1:8-9

Dear God, it’s interesting that the first piece of advice from Solomon is to listen to your parents’ instruction. There are some caveats to this advice, I’m sure, but in general the idea is to listen to someone who has been there.

I think about teens and all of the things they want to do and do. Partying. Sex. Sneaking out. Not all teens, mind you, but a lot. And parents don’t want them to do these things. Why? The parents wanted to sneak out when they were kids. Why don’t they want their kids to do it. The parents wanted to have sex when they were young. Why do they want their kids to wait as long as possible? The parents wanted to go out drinking with friends. Why don’t they want their kids to do it? Why do they want their kids to work hard in school? Get good grades? Make the most of their opportunities? A lot of them didn’t when they were kids. It’s because they now know something that the young ones don’t know. In fact, they know a lot of things the young ones don’t know. There is danger in sneaking out and partying with your friends. You limit your life’s trajectory when you don’t work hard and make the most of your opportunities. And there are emotional and even physical ramifications if you have/treatsex casually. And Solomon tells that young person, “Listen to them. They have been where you haven.” My grandmother used to say that you cannot put an old head on young shoulders. That’s true, but a young head that heeds the council of an old head can find itself in a much better position than if it follows its youthful foolishness.

Father, even as a 50-year-old, I still have a lot to learn. I have initiated a coaching/mentoring relationship with an older man who is retired and I’m hoping can give me some of counsel from his experience. I’m hoping you can teach me through him, through the board of directors where I work, through friends, and, yes, through my parents, both of whom I’m fortunate enough to still have. So give me ears to hear, eyes to see, and a heart humble and soft enough to absorb the guidance you want to give me through them.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 12, 2020 in Proverbs

 

Philippians 4:1-20

11 Oct

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles. Moreover, as you Philippians know, in the early days of your acquaintance with the gospel, when I set out from Macedonia, not one church shared with me in the matter of giving and receiving, except you only; for even when I was in Thessalonica, you sent me aid more than once when I was in need. Not that I desire your gifts; what I desire is that more be credited to your account. I have received full payment and have more than enough. I am amply supplied, now that I have received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent. They are a fragrant offering, an acceptable sacrifice, pleasing to God. And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Philippians 4:12-20

Dear God, I’ve been on both sides of this equation. Twenty years ago, I could never have imagined being on the receiving end of this equation. I was only on the giving end. I would try to give charitably. I made donations and supported different causes and missionaries. My wife and I have always taken a portion of the money each of us receives and earmarked it to give away. But I could never imagine being on the receiving end. To be the person who lives off of the charity of others as they support the work that I do, but as a nonprofit director that is exactly what I do. My salary comes from someone else’s decision to give of their resources to support our work. Even sitting here and typing this right now is quite humbling–even shocking. I can’t believe this is the live I’ve lived for the last 17 years and believe I will continue to live for the foreseeable future.

It’s important for me to note here that Paul does something interesting at the end of this passage. He assures them that he has enough. He is consciously turning off that pipeline from the Philippians to him and allowing that money to go somewhere else. It’s a brave thing to do. Can we ever have enough? What about tomorrow? Shouldn’t my prudence dictate that we need to receive as much as possible? It’s an incredibly fine line to draw–living by faith in you and not by faith in my bank account. I guess the way I try to live out the spirit of this passage is to not cry poor when I’m talking about raising money for our clinic, but instead tell them about our work and then allow you to move them as appropriate. If healthcare for the low-income, uninsured is their thing then we are a good outlet for them to participate in their lives. But if childcare, food, or helping with emergency expenses like rent are their thing then we aren’t a good place for their dollars. And so far you seem to have honored this path. Since I’ve been at the nonprofit where I work over the last 15 years, I’ve seen you organically grow our income to match the programs we offer, while also growing our operating reserves commensurately so that our cash flow can withstand any ebbs and flows throughout the year or over a couple of years. In fact, our reserves have been about the same percentage of our annual operating budget this entire time. It’s all just kind of worked out, but I know that isn’t coincidence. I can feel your provision. I can see when you move in someone’s heart unexpectedly in a way that shocks me. You are so good, and I am so grateful.

Father, help me to be a generous giver of my personal resources, help me to be a good steward of the resources we have at work, and help me to be part of helping others find deeper relationship with you through their decisions to share their resources with those in need. And in the end, make it all about your glory. This is for you, Father. It’s all for you. I love you.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 11, 2020 in Philippians

 

Proverbs 19:20

10 Oct

Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.

Proverbs 19:20

Dear God, I think I probably should pick at least one day a week to do a Proverb. Just little nuggets of wisdom as reminders. This one is the verse of the day from Bible Gateway, and it goes along with the self-evaluation I filled out for our board president yesterday.

As the director of a nonprofit, I have a choice to make when it comes to interacting with our board. I can be defensive, insecure, lazy, and prideful by hiding my self-perceived deficiencies from them. That’s one way to go, but the only person that possibly benefits is me (and I say possibly because if I choose to cover anything up, no matter how trivial I might think it is, it’s always the coverup that gets you). But if I am transparent about my weaknesses or failings, if I am forthcoming about things that went wrong, then we can correct or improve those things about me or our operation and benefit the staff, our clients, our community, and even me. And the irony is that transparency breeds trust and respect so it actually does me more good in the long run and I can be at peace because I don’t feel like I am hiding anything.

Father, I am writing this over two days, but the same is true today as I complete this prayer journal entry as it was yesterday when I started it. I need to submit not only to you and to the authorities in my life (government, board of directors, spouse), but I need to serve and be accountable to everyone around me. The more transparent I am, the more you will be able to touch others through me. And the more transparent I am the more I will be forced into growing on the inside the way I tell people I am growing. If I don’t give them a facade to view, but instead show them what it really going on in me then that accountability will be good for me. So help me to get over myself, my pride, my agenda, and my selfishness and worry more about your glory and how you might use me to bring your kingdom and yours will into the world.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 10, 2020 in Proverbs

 

Galatians 3:1-6

09 Oct

You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by the works of the law, or by believing what you heard? Are you so foolish? After beginning by means of the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by means of the flesh? Have you experienced so much in vain—if it really was in vain? So again I ask, does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you by the works of the law, or by your believing what you heard? So also Abraham “believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.”

Galatians 3:1-6

Dear God, I get very task-oriented. I lay out my plan for the day. I lay out my activities. I look at the landscape (political, social, personal), determine what is lacking or problematic, and then decide what I must do. I am good at it. But I am a Galatian fool!

What if, just what if, I were to start with worship and then let my actions flow from that? What if I started with my faith in you/Jesus/Holy Spirit and then started to see the world and that “landscape” I mentioned above through your eyes instead of my own? What if I looked at our politics and remembered that there is nothing to fear because you are in control, and I might never see what you are doing in this physical world in my lifetime? What if I applied that same concept to the societal issues and personal issues facing me? What if I let go of my own agenda and just allowed myself to move through the direction I feel from you instead of my own so called wisdom?

Father, right now, I have some work in front of me, and I am the luckiest man in the world because 80% of it is about loving others. I get to write thank you letters to people who sent donations. I get to write update letters to donors to whom our work means a lot. I get to write a flyer to hand out to church members on Sunday to whom I am speaking about our clinic and the work we do with our patients. I get to love, love, love as the work you have for me. Beyond that, I am having lunch with a friend, and I get to sow into his life and allow you to sow into mine through him. I get to love my wife and spend time with her tonight. And if I decided to venture into social media tonight, I have an opportunity to be a source of your love and not divisiveness. None of these things will likely change the problems I think I are important, but they might just move the needle in helping your kingdom to come and your will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. Use me as you will, and I will start by worshipping you.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 9, 2020 in Galatians

 

Psalm 63:1

07 Oct

You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water.

Psalm 63:1

Dear God, in light of what I prayed last night, I think this “verse of the day” from Bible Gateway actually turned out to be pretty on-the-nose. Just flat out worship.

You are my God

This is often true, but not always. Safety and security are sometimes my god. Achievement is sometimes my god. My wife or children are sometimes my god. Accolades and acceptance are sometimes my god. My health. My entertainment. I suppose this is becoming a confession. All of these things can become my god. But you are THE God.

I earnestly seek you

So I will endeavor to seek you. I will stop and worship you. I will seek your counsel. I will submit myself to your authority. I will remember you in the midst of my day. I so often just push on in my own power. I’m so sorry. I will earnestly seek you.

I thirst for you

Of course, the thing that gives me hope is that when I am foolish enough to seek other gods and look to my own wisdom, I find that I thirst for you. I need you. I have grown close enough to you that I definitely notice when I’m not with you. When I am far from you. Thank you for being so much…just so much you that I find myself longing for you when my restless heart wanders.

My whole being longs for you

Father, I need you. I need you as I put together next year’s budget today. I need you as I figure out how to love our patients, donors, and volunteers at work. I need you as I do things to make our staff feel appreciated and supported. I need you as I husband my wife, love my children, and care about extended family and friends. I need oneness with you as I go throughout this day. Thank you for being right there–for being near–when I reach out to you.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 7, 2020 in Psalms

 

Galatians 1:11-24

06 Oct

I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that the gospel I preached is not of human origin. I did not receive it from any man, nor was I taught it; rather, I received it by revelation from Jesus Christ. For you have heard of my previous way of life in Judaism, how intensely I persecuted the church of God and tried to destroy it. I was advancing in Judaism beyond many of my own age among my people and was extremely zealous for the traditions of my fathers. But when God, who set me apart from my mother’s womb and called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles, my immediate response was not to consult any human being. I did not go up to Jerusalem to see those who were apostles before I was, but I went into Arabia. Later I returned to Damascus. Then after three years, I went up to Jerusalem to get acquainted with Cephas and stayed with him fifteen days. I saw none of the other apostles—only James, the Lord’s brother. I assure you before God that what I am writing you is no lie. Then I went to Syria and Cilicia. I was personally unknown to the churches of Judea that are in Christ. They only heard the report: “The man who formerly persecuted us is now preaching the faith he once tried to destroy.” And they praised God because of me.

Galatians 1:11-24

Dear God, I’m not sure I’ve ever spent much time with this passage or the idea that Paul wasn’t really taught his theology by the apostles or other disciples, but had direct revelation from you. I really do wonder how much of my theology is tainted by the teaching of others. I wonder if I should spend more time just silently with you. Even when I exercise–no music, podcasts, or videos. What if I just allowed silence and tried to meditate on you?

I talked on the phone with a pastor friend today. I call him a friend, but I don’t really know him that well. But I called to ask him about something and he asked how I am doing. I told him honestly about a couple of struggles we are experiencing after losing my wife’s father a few weeks ago, and he prayed the most beautiful prayer for my wife and me over the phone. I know I’ve felt that way before. I know I’ve prayed that way before. I just don’t feel that close connection with you now. I know that emotions ebb and flow, and I can’t always be on a spiritual high or 100% tuned into you, but I pretty sure I can be better than I’ve been.

Father, I’m sorry I’ve let self-righteousness, bitterness, and judgmental-ness infiltrate my heart. I’m sorry for any way in which I’ve not been what you need me to be for my wife or anyone else. Help me to be a complete source of love for everyone I know or who touches my life. Family. Friends. Patients. Volunteers. Coworkers. Donors. My community. I don’t need to be right. I don’t need to be better than anyone else. I just need to be your vessel, messenger, and ambassador. Help me to be all of those things for your glory’s sake.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 6, 2020 in Galatians

 

Proverbs 27:1-2

04 Oct

Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring. Let someone else praise you, and not your own mouth; an outsider, and not your own lips.

Proverbs 27:1-2

Dear God, sorry to make this so trivial, but when I read this I thought about college football. Last week, Mike Leach at Mississippi State, was pretty haughty about having just beaten LSU. He was arrogant and cocky during his postgame press conference, mocking the other team a little. Well, one week later, they lost to what is perceived to be one of the worst two teams in the SEC, Arkansas. I haven’t seen his postgame comments from yesterday, but something tells me they were a little different than last week.

Just boasting in general is such a bad look. The irony is that, while it makes us feel good to make sure people are looking at something good that we did or happened to us, it is pretty transparent to the other person how insecure we are. We actually end up accomplishing the exact opposite of what we are trying to accomplish.

I’ll confess that I’m as guilty of this as anyone. I might be a little better about it now than I used to be (is hat boasting?), but it’s only because I have come to see what my boasting looks like to others and sometimes that stops me from doing it. I’ve told you many times that I my secret biggest desire is that people be impressed by me. Ironically, the thing that always impresses people as much as, if not more than, anything else is humility.

Father, whenever I boast, whenever I try to impress others, I am increasing at your expense. I am so sorry. Everything about my life should be for you, about you, and because of you. I give you my life (including my ego) and will be the one to testify on your behalf of how great, awesome, and wonderful, you are.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 4, 2020 in Proverbs

 
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