I’ve had good days, I’ve had bad days, tasted victory in defeat I’ve had problems, biggest planets turn to pebbles when You speak I’ve had nothing to my name, never lacked for anything ‘Cause You were there with me
You’ve been my Savior, Sustainer when I’m at my end My Healer, Redeemer, again and again My Mother and my Father, Brother, Sister, and Friend Everything I’ve needed Lord, You’ve always been Everything I’ve needed Lord, You’ve always been
When I stand before You guilty, oh, Your mercy bears my blame When in pride, I think I’m worthy, You point out the price You paid When I wander far away, You keep callin’ out my name You don’t give up on me
You’ve been my Savior, Sustainer when I’m at my end My Healer, Redeemer, again and again My Mother and my Father, Brother, Sister, and Friend Everything I’ve needed Lord, You’ve always been Everything I’ve needed Lord, You’ve always been
You are my strength, my rock, Jesus You are my hope, my song, Jesus Before my heart knows what to pray You’ve already made a way, Jesus
You’ve been my Savior, Sustainer when I’m at my end My Healer, Redeemer, again and again My Mother and my Father, Brother, Sister, and Friend Everything I’ve needed Lord, You’ve always been
You’ve been my Savior, Sustainer when I’m at my end My Healer, Redeemer, again and again My Mother and my Father, Brother, Sister, and Friend Everything I’ve needed Lord, You’ve always been Everything I’ve needed Lord, You’ve always been
Everything I’ve needed Lord, You’ve always been Oh, Yes, You have Thank You, Jesus, yes You’ve always been
Songwriters: Jeffrey Thomas Pardo / Jonathan Burton Lowry / Chad Michael Mattson
Dear God, I need some pebbles from my sustainer right now. I have some problems that feel big as planets. I need you to make this pain count. Make it miraculous. Bring about deep healing and closeness to you. There are people for whom I care deeply, and many of them are really hurting this morning. Some of it might even be my fault. I’m sure some of it is my fault. Show me how to reach out and bring you into this process of healing. Please give us all a path forward. Work in hearts. Make us whole.
I realize as I type this very personal prayer to you in a public way through this blog that it will come across as weird to anyone who reads it. I guess what I’m hoping is they can at least see someone who is without answers and bringing his crisis to you. No pretense. Nothing polished. Just someone who is “at his end” (see chorus) and needs you. I need you, Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit, my Triune God. I need you to do things that are way beyond me.
Father, I offer this day and my life as a living sacrifice to you. Make me willing to do whatever you need me to do today regardless of the personal cost to me. This day is not about me. It’s not about my ego or my pride. It’s about being an instrument of your peace, regardless of what is costs me. Holy Spirit, please pray for me and for everyone on my heart right now. If there is spiritual warfare involved, which I’m sure there is, Jesus, by your power and blood, free us all of this bondage. Jesus, by the power of your blood, free us all from this bondage. Leave us with healed hearts. Humble hearts. Worshipful hearts.
“Cry the Name” by Jill Phillips (originally by Rich Mullins)
I cannot hide this longing that grows In this temple of silence and stars But a thief in the night stole in and broke Every chain that had bound up my heart I cannot cling to shadows again So here on this altar tonight I lay every dream I’ve ever dreamt To burn in the fire He lights
I cry the Name of the One who loves me The Name of the One on whom I call ‘Til it roars like thunder Rolling down these canyon walls
I cry the Name of the One who loves me The Name of the One on whom I call ‘Til it roars like thunder Rolling down these canyon walls
Every breath I’ve ever breathed Was sent as a gift from on high And with all that is left of all that is me Up to the Heavens I cry
The Name of the One who loves me The Name of the One on whom I call ‘Til it roars like thunder Rolling down these canyon walls
I cry the Name of the One who loves me The Name of the One on whom I call ‘Til it roars like thunder Rolling down these canyon walls
The Name of the One who loves me Name of the One on whom I call ‘Til it roars like thunder Rolling down these canyon walls
I cry the Name of the One who loves me The Name of the One on whom I call Down these canyon walls
I cry out Your name I cry Your name out ‘Til it roars like thunder Rolling down these canyon walls
The Name of the One on whom I call ‘Til it roars like thunder Rolling down these canyon walls Down these canyon walls
Dear God, I think Rich Mullins would have liked this cover of his song. Like most people, I usually like the original more than any remakes, but this one really brings the poetry of the words alive for me.
I cannot hide this longing that grows In this temple of silence and stars But a thief in the night stole in and broke Every chain that had bound up my heart
Paul talked about Jesus coming like a “thief in the night,” (1 Thessalonians 5:2) so Rich and Beaker lean into that imagery here. Our minds think of a thief in the night as a bad thing, but, well, if you know you know, right? If you know this verse then you know the depths of what Rich and Beaker are saying. So with this verse, I just get this image of someone at the end of themselves and they’ve finally submitted to you. They let you come in the window and trusted you to rob them of everything you want to take. The beauty of it is, you want to take their shame, their guilt, their vice, their selfishness… You want to take all of that and leave them with the smooth skin of a new baby. The innocence of a spotless lamb. That’s what you stole. So now that the thief (you) have made off with all of the bad:
I cannot cling to shadows again So here on this altar tonight I lay every dream I’ve ever dreamt To burn in the fire He lights
At least at first, it’s hard to cling to the shadows again. Shadows come from the light, when things are there to block it. And we want those things in our hearts that will block your light. But you want to remove them so the light shines everywhere. And, at least at first, we want your light everywhere. We want the shadows gone. I just finished looking at Jonah and Nineveh. At first, the Ninevites and the King of the Assyrians wanted you and repented. They wanted to get rid of their shadows. The sad thing is, the thrill wears off and the comfort of our shadows and shame can slowly come back if we don’t walk through the narrow gate and persevere down the narrow path (Matthew 7:13-14). But let’s sit a little longer on this night that Rich and Beaker are describing. They have chosen to lay every dream they’ve ever dreamt and let them burn in the fire you light. Beautiful.
I cry the Name of the One who loves me The Name of the One on whom I call ‘Til it roars like thunder Rolling down these canyon walls
I know there are a lot of places with skies, stars, and canyons, but this makes me think of some moments I’ve had out at the H. E. Butt Family Foundation Ranch near Leakey, Texas. Mountaintop experiences, to be sure. Glorious. Emotional. Humbling, but in a good way. It can be hard to leave that place. So I’ll just let the poetry of these words take me back to those times. When the soil of my heart was freshly weeded. Before some thorns and weeds had crept in. Just you, me, and guiltless soil.
Father, to quote another Rich Mullins song, “Elijah,” “Sometimes my ground was stony, sometimes covered up with thorns, and only you could make it what it had to be.” Help me to weed my soil again today. Help me to go and be your ambassador in every situation I find myself in. I love you, Father. Make me what I need to be today so that you might be glorified. I want to decrease and you increase. As I teach Sunday school in an hour, I want you to move hearts. Let this be a day when we do some weeding in all of our hearts.
Say that I’m crazy or call me a fool But last night, it seemed that I dreamed about you
When I opened my mouth, what came out was a song And you knew every word and we all sang along
To a melody played on the strings of our souls And a rhythm that rattled us down to the bone
Our love for each other will live on forever In every beat of my proud corazón
Our love for each other will live on forever In every beat of my proud corazón
¡Ay mi familia! ¡Oiga mi gente! Canten a coro, let it be known Our love for each other will live on forever In every beat of my proud corazón
¡Ay mi familia! ¡Oiga mi gente! Canten a coro, let it be known Our love for each other will live on forever In every beat of my proud corazón
Written by Adrian Molina (lyrics) and Germaine Franco (composer)
Dear God, I was playing this song for some extended family last night and I had it going in my head when I woke up this morning. I thought I would sit in my sadness with it a while and bring that sadness to you. You said that those who mourn would be comforted. Please comfort me now.
I have a couple of family relationships that are completely broken and it hurts. It is a hole in my heart. Sometimes, like even right now, it brings tears to my eyes. But I’ve accepted that maybe, at least for now, this is the path you have for all of us so that you can get us to the place you want us to be. I don’t want to get in the way of your plan for them or for me just because I selfishly want them back in my life. No one ever said (besides prosperity gospel preachers) that my life wouldn’t have pain. In fact, Jesus started off the beatitudes with being poor in spirit and mourning. He knew we would experience that.
And now that I’m sitting here in this sadness, I am thinking about the sadness in Ukraine over people being randomly killed by rockets being indiscriminately fired at them. Their family. I think about those is Palestine and Israel who have experienced incredible pain and loss. I think about the families here being separated by immigration rules that need reformed. I think about the pain of people who have family members with addiction issues. Parents who are fighting and don’t love each other. Parents who are drug-addicted and CPS is having to intervene. Yes, there is a lot of mourning out there. Yes, there is a lot of pain. Yes, there is a lot of those who are poor in spirit.
So I go to this song. It’s from the movie Coco. And I’ll say up front that the theology presented in Coco is not good, but I don’t really care about that in this moment. The movie is beautiful. As this song wraps up the movie, and as I listened to it last night, the part about dreaming really hit me. There are two people about whom you give me dreams. I’ll say the dreams are from you anyway. Even though our relationship is completely fractured, every time I dream of them they are good dreams. They are dreams filled with love and mercy. Forgiveness. Repentance. Hugs. Tears. I usually wake up from those dreams with tears in my eyes. I’m grateful for those dreams. Thank you for them.
Father, I pray for restoration of the relationships that are possible on this side of life. It’s too short to reject family love. But regardless, for the people who have loss through death and the people who will not see the restoration of relationship on this side of life, I pray for an eternity that, within your will, will be spent together worshipping and serving you.
These days, my heart’s always on the run These days, the world’s spinning out of control, oh These days are fast and they’re furious Feels like the worst is ahead of us, oh, oh
Sometimes it’s hard to feel at home, but
I believe that you and I Are in the right place, at the right time God called us by name And He doesn’t make mistakes I know we were born to shine bright In a dark world that needed some light Don’t have to be afraid Maybe we were made for these days Maybe we were made for these days
What if the beauty isn’t crushed? It just needs the hope that’s inside of us, oh, oh What if it’s more than a destiny? What if we’re part of a masterpiece? Oh, oh
Until our Father brings us home
I believe that you and I Are in the right place, at the right time God called us by name And He doesn’t make mistakes I know we were born to shine bright In a dark world that needed some light Don’t have to be afraid Maybe we were made for these days Maybe we were made (for these days!)
‘Cause staying when it gets hard To love with open arms It’s something to embrace Maybe we were made for these days
I believe that you and I Are in the right place, at the right time God called us by name And He doesn’t make mistakes I know we were born to shine bright In a dark world that needed some light Don’t have to be afraid Maybe we were made for these days Maybe we were made (for these days)
Songwriters: Paul T. Duncan / Jeremy Thomas Camp / Emily Weisband / Jordan Douglas Sapp
Dear God, I woke up with this song in my head this morning. I have no idea why. It was incredibly random, and I don’t think I heard it yesterday or recently. I don’t know why it was festering in there. So I went and looked it up. I’ve listened to it several time while I was showering and getting ready to teach a Sunday school class for some friends this morning. And now I’m going to just pray about it a little and see what you might have for me through the words of these song writers.
These days, my heart’s always on the run These days, the world’s spinning out of control, oh These days are fast and they’re furious Feels like the worst is ahead of us, oh, oh
I have to say that the second line of the first verse made me bristle a little. Only because I think every generations feels like theirs is the craziest, most out of control. I know some people who look back longingly at the 90s or 80, before cell phones. Others look back at the 60s and before cable TV. Other look back to the 30s and 40s when all we had was radio, although the people that remember that are getting fewer and fewer. There are whole political campaigns about returning to a previous time when things were better. But the people who lived in the 80s longed for the 60s. The people who lived in the 60s thought things were out of control and longed for the 40s. You get the idea. I’d wager I could go back to 1800 and find people who felt like the world was just getting more and more out of control. In 1000 and 1100. In Jesus’s day. I mean, even the Old and New Testaments talk about trying times. No, this is just our time, but it’s nothing that is beyond you. It’s nothing you haven’t seen coming. Is it more than we can handle? Maybe. Maybe our technology is exacerbating it all a little. Or maybe it’s just amplifying what’s been there all along.
Real quick on the last line of this first verse, I don’t like the idea that the worst is ahead of us. I mean, it very well may be, but what is the worst? My death? Okay. So be it. What is the worst? People starving and not knowing where they will get their next meal? People in danger in a war zone or living in a violent home? Drug addiction? Yes, these are all awful. But they aren’t new. Maybe what the worst that he’s feeling int his song is just the division and animosity between people. I heard a young man say the other day that the five people you keep closest to you is very important in influencing who we are. It was another way of saying what I’ve heard said and repeated myself that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. The trick with all of this media at our fingertips is that we are allowing a lot of deviant people into our sphere of influence and we don’t even realize we are doing it. It’s the slow drip that imperceptibly fills our bucket without us realizing it.
What if the beauty isn’t crushed? It just needs the hope that’s inside of us, oh, oh What if it’s more than a destiny? What if we’re part of a masterpiece? Oh, oh
And here he brings the hope that comes from the first verse. And this is the answer you’ve had for the world since the beginning. You’ve called us to be your hope to the world, but it has to start inside of me. You have to be my hope. You have to be the source of my peace. You have to be the source of my mercy and love. You have to be the source of my motivation. I’m fascinated to see how your plan comes together for this world. It feels to me sometimes like you set it all in motion and we’ve been doing a fairly good job of mucking it up. But there is this thing you’ve offered us here on earth called forgiveness. It brings with is mercy and grace. It’s just about the most powerful thing we can then turn and offer the world. And it starts with your mercy and grace, your forgiveness of us. All we have to do is come to you, repent, and ask. But it’s not over at that point. The only way we get to accepting that forgiveness from you is to walk through the narrow gate and take the road less traveled. I think what’s frustrated me most about being an adult Christian is how many people I’ve invited to walk that road with me but they just won’t do it.
I believe that you and I Are in the right place, at the right time God called us by name And He doesn’t make mistakes I know we were born to shine bright In a dark world that needed some light Don’t have to be afraid Maybe we were made for these days Maybe we were made (for these days)
We are your Plan A, and you don’t have a Plan B this side of death. We carry you into this world. Will we do it well? Will I do it well? I’m grieved by what I see around me, Father. I’m grieved by the suffering of people in my immediate sphere, in the sphere of my community and country, and in the sphere of the world. And I cannot fix it all. But I’m not alone. I do, however, have a responsibility to do what you’ve called me to today. So this morning, as I prepare to teach a Sunday school class to a group that are mainly senior citizens, help me to take them a message you have for them. Love them through me. Encourage them. We have some relatives coming today. Help me to love them and receive your love from them. Be glorified through me, Father. Help me to bring at least one more person with me through the narrow gate today.
Dear God, I wanted to just have some Christian music playing while I got ready for church this morning, so I got on YouTube and started looking through the music section. I happened upon this concert by Michael W. Smith in Canada in 2002. I remember when this album came out. It was so successful they did a volume 2 of it. And I really liked it.
It’s funny how judgmental I can be, like I’m all that or I have it all figured out. I’m so sorry. My first response when I saw it this morning was to react negatively to all of the overproduction. Yuck. But then the Holy Spirit whispered to me, “Exactly what is your problem? There is an arena of people, thousands of people, earnestly worshipping me as best as they know how. Just how you worship me as best you know how. Their worship isn’t perfect. Your worship isn’t perfect. But all of it delights me. It is a sweet fragrance to me.” So I sank into it and came in and out of my worship as I ironed my shirt, shaved, and just got ready for church. It was a good experience. And I appreciate Michael. I think he’s a good, earnest man. I think he’s a lover and worshipper of you. He’s also a brilliant musician–especially as a pianist. And his notoriety led others to join him that evening 23 years ago to worship you.
Father, I know my worship is flawed. I know my prayer life is flawed. I’d like to think I know just how inadequate I am before you, but I still think I oversell myself and undersell you. But you smile at me. You have mercy on me. You ask me to love you, which I do. You ask me to love others and have mercy on them, which I try to do. I just want to be who you need me to be today. Walk with me, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
“We Are Not As Strong As We Think We Are” by Rich Mullins
Well, it took the hand of God Almighty To part the waters of the sea But it only took one little lie To separate you and me Oh, we are not as strong as we think we are
And they say that one day Joshua Made the sun stand still in the sky But I can’t even keep these thoughts of you from passing by Oh, we are not as strong as we think we are
We are frail, we are fearfully and wonderfully made Forged in the fires of human passion Choking on the fumes of selfish rage And with these our hells and our heavens So few inches apart We must be awfully small And not as strong as we think we are
And the Master said their faith was Gonna make them mountains move But me, I tremble like a hill on a fault line Just at the thought of how I lost you Oh, we are not as strong as we think we are
We are frail, we are fearfully and wonderfully made Forged in the fires of human passion Choking on the fumes of selfish rage And with these our hells and our heavens So few inches apart We must be awfully small And not as strong as we think we are
And if you make me laugh I know I could make you like me ‘Cause when I laugh I can be a lot of fun But we can’t do that I know that it is frightening What I don’t know is why we can’t hold on We can’t hold on
It took the hand of God Almighty To part the waters of the sea But it only took one little lie To separate you and me Oh, we are not as strong as we think we are
When you love you walk on the water Just don’t stumble on the waves We all want to go there something’ awful But to stand there it takes some grace
Dear God, I was listening to a podcast this morning, and they were talking about something they were reading that we are only able to see about 2% of what is visible around us due to our limited visual spectrum and the size of things. My wife and I talked about it a bit. We have a friend who is an ophthalmologist and she talks about the mission trips she goes on and how just something as simple as $.50 reading glasses change a person’s life because they were a seamstress and thought they could no longer work because they couldn’t see detail anymore. How much would that be us if we could all of a sudden see a fraction of what is around us that we cannot see? Is the vision of the spirits in the world actually closer than we think? Is it maybe not a veil between us, but simple ignorance?
That’s when this song came to mind for me. I am not as strong as I think I am. I think the closer I get to you the smaller I feel. And that’s a good thing. I think the closer I get to you the weaker I feel. And that’s a good thing. I don’t have to put my faith in my own strength to find my certainty or peace. I talk to people around my age who say they don’t feel their age. And that’s fine. I always tell them, “I’m not sure what 55 is supposed to feel like, but I think this is it.” I just don’t feel the need to push myself up and pretend to be something that I’m not. Is that good or bad? I’m not sure.
Thinking about this song that Beaker and Rich wrote, I wonder what they inspiration for it was. How did they decide to write this song? Were they feeling especially powerless? It starts with a broken relationship. It’s a love song to lost love. Poetically, I think my favorite part of the song talks about how we are “formed in the fires of human passion.” But the passion between those two people also succumbs sometimes to the fumes of selfish rage. This is truly an amazing song when you really sit with the lyrics.
Father, my hells and my heavens are just a few inches apart. Tonight, I will try to lean into the heavens and cling to them as I try to teach the Bible study lesson I think you gave me for these men. Help me. Be with me. Fill me. Help me to be weak. Be strong for me.
A little boy sitting on a metal folding chair In what appears to be a Sunday school room He could see that shepherd boy, His sling up in the air He could feel that giant hit with a boom In that room I saw the Red Sea part And two by two animals get in the ark And Mrs. Keen gently would say The God of the past is still God today
So tell me again of the old, old stories Tell me again of the faithful who walked In the lions’ den and the fiery furnace Of Noah and rainbows and donkeys that talked I don’t want to forget so please, tell me again
A young man sitting at a desk with a wooden chair In what appears to be a high school class He can see a battlefield there’s giants everywhere Saying, “The Bible is a thing of the past” In this new age you believe what you want to believe ‘Cause god is whatever you want it to be And I can hear Mrs. Keen gently say The God of the past is still God today
So tell me again of the old, old stories Tell me again of the faithful who walked In the lions’ den and the fiery furnace Of Noah and rainbows and donkeys that talked I don’t want to forget so please, tell me again
How the God of the ages Turned history’s pages and saw my need Tell me again of the shepherds and wise men And the star that would lead them to the baby who was born So that we could be born again
Tell me again of the Gospel story Tell me again how the whole world was lost How the Only Begotten with grace so amazing Gave up His life on an old rugged cross I don’t want to forget so please, tell me Tell me again of the old, old stories Tell me again of the faithful who walked How the Only Begotten, with grace so amazing Gave up His life on an old rugged cross I don’t want to forget so please, tell me again I dont’ want to forget, so please, tell me again
Written by Geoff Moore and Steve Chapman
Dear God, I’m I. A chapel at almost 10:00 on a Sunday evening. my wife is taking an hour to pray. I decided to take the time to be with her, although in another corner of the room and finish a book I’ve been reading. I finished the book so I started playing solitaire on the tablet and listening to my Christian playlist on shuffle (with headphones). This song was the first song up and I listened to it three or four times. It filled me with warmth. It made me remember back to sitting in Sunday school as an 8- and 9-year-old, listening to the stories. The flannel-graph was always fun (I just looked up flannel-graphs for sale—they still exist!).
I still love those stories, but I’m better at applying them to my life now. They were always great, but now I have more sympathy for the unfaithful Israelites who drove me crazy because they just kept repeating the same sins (sounds like me). I see Noah’s, Abraham’s, and Samson’s flaws. I understand the rise and fall of David and how the sin of Bathsheba/Uriah followed him to his death.
As I sit here and pray now, I pray that my children will remember these stories and times in Sunday school like I do, and mature into the stories and see the real beauty in how you’ve chosen to reveal yourself to us through them. Help them to learn about themselves through a mature look at these women and men who were wonderful and flawed. And how much you loved them. Help them to see you through these old stories of the faithful, and not so faithful.
I'm the one with two left feet Standing on a lonely street I can't even walk a straight line And every time you look at me I'm spinning like an autumn leave Bound to hit bottom sometime
Where would I be without someone to save me Someone who won't let me fall
You are everything that I live for Everything that I can't believe is happening You're standing right in front of me With arms wide open, all I know is Every day is filled with hope 'Cause you are everything that I breathe for And I can't help but breathe you in And breathe again Feeling all this life within Every single beat of my heart
I'm the one with big mistakes Big regrets and bigger breaks Than I'd ever care to confess Ah, but you're the one who looks at me And sees what I was meant to be More than just a beautiful mess
Where would I be without someone to save me Someone who won't let me fall
You are everything that I live for Everything that I can't believe is happening You're standing right in front of me With arms wide open, all I know is Every day is filled with hope 'Cause you are everything that I breathe for And I can't help but breathe you in Breathe again, feeling all this life within Every single beat of my heart
You're everything good in my life Everything honest and true And all of those stars Hanging up in the sky Could never shine brighter than you
You are everything that I live for Everything that I can't believe is happening You're standing right in front of me With arms wide open, all I know is Every day is filled with hope 'Cause you are everything that I breathe for And I can't help but breathe you in And breathe again, feeling all this life within Every single beat of my heart
You are, oh, you are. Jesus, you are You are everthing
Songwriters Matthew West and Sam Mizell
Dear God, I normally copy and paste lyrics when I do songs like this, but this time I really wanted to sink into this song and worship you with the words so I typed them out. I need some worship time. I feel like I am spinning a little. With some personal struggles combined with preaching in the morning, working alongside my wife tomorrow afternoon with a couple about to get married, teaching a Bible study Monday night and then officiating a funeral on Wednesday, I have a all of these things swirling through my head. How will I manage them? How will I do you justice in all of this? The answer: Stop and worship. Make everything in my being about you. Worship you. Take my eyes off of all of this and just fall into you. Let you do it through me.
To be clear, what I am experiencing is first-world problems. You have given me so much. I was listening to a podcast earlier today and this pastor was talking about exhorting his congregation to make a practice of observing Sabbath, and he got feedback from some that they would love to, but they cannot because they are working two jobs to make ends meet. From his view of the world, choosing to observe the Sabbath was a choice that his “internal Pharaoh” would have to grant, but he realized that a lot of people live with an “external Pharaoh” that compels them to ignore Sabbath.
Another good thing I heard today as I listened to another podcast was the importance of not teaching the secondary benefits of Christianity as our motivation for worshipping you. And I’m not talking about prosperity gospel heresy, but even making the motivation to worship you and live a life of discipleship be attaining the fruits of the Spirit. Yes, that is a side-effect, but I’m here right now not for that. I’m here right now simply because I love you. I’m into you. I first followed you almost 46 years ago. I’ve been intentionally discipling in one way or another for 38 years. Can I see your fruit in my life? Absolutely. Is that why I’m here? No. I’m here because I simply love you.
Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, inhabit me. Inhabit all of my being. I feel like I’ve been broken this week. I feel like you’ve been melting me and molding me. Now fill me to overflowing so that you might overflow onto those around me. All for your glory, oh, Lord. All for your glory.
1 Come, let us sing to the Lord! Let us shout joyfully to the Rock of our salvation. 2 Let us come to him with thanksgiving. Let us sing psalms of praise to him. 3 For the Lord is a great God, a great King above all gods. 4 He holds in his hands the depths of the earth and the mightiest mountains. 5 The sea belongs to him, for he made it. His hands formed the dry land, too.
6 Come, let us worship and bow down. Let us kneel before the Lord our maker, 7 for he is our God. We are the people he watches over, the flock under his care.
If only you would listen to his voice today! 8 The Lord says, “Don’t harden your hearts as Israel did at Meribah, as they did at Massah in the wilderness. 9 For there your ancestors tested and tried my patience, even though they saw everything I did. 10 For forty years I was angry with them, and I said, ‘They are a people whose hearts turn away from me. They refuse to do what I tell them.’ 11 So in my anger I took an oath: ‘They will never enter my place of rest.’”
Dear God, reading this as a 21st-century American, I’m shocked with how this worship psalm ends. Was this typical for them? Did it cycle around and use something as a chorus to make this ending more hopeful and worshipful. I am preaching at a church several weeks from now, and I started to wonder if the first part of this psalm wasn’t the message you wanted me to give. “If only you would listen to his voice today.” Then I saw the rest of it that ended in such a negative place. It stunned me. I know I’ve read this before, and I’ve probably had the same response before. But it still stuns me to see this description by the psalmist of what they imagined you felt (or you revealed to them you felt) for those 40 years between Egypt and they Jordan.
In today’s entry into Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation, Sister Miriam actually focused on the line I focused on, but she included the first part of verse 8, “Don’t harden your hearts…” She quote the Catholic Catechism (CCC 2840): “Now–and this is daunting–this outpouring of mercy cannot penetrate our hearts as long as we have not forgiven those who have trespassed against us.” She follows up later and says, “Forgiveness is asking Jesus Christ for the grace to forgive. It is relinquishing our grasp upon the person who hurt us, surrendering the person to Jesus and asking Jesus to restore justice. It is an acknowledgment of the pain inflicted, how it affected us, an ongoing emotional release of it, and a decision to offer that person and ourselves a gift of love and freedom.”
Father, there are times when I think I have forgiven everyone, but then anger flashed back to me. Maybe it’s a new offense. Maybe it’s a reminder of an offense that I thought I had worked through and forgiven. Maybe it’s trying to find that line between loving and forgiving while still not trusting. I do know that I don’t want a hard heart. Even in my daily vocation, I work with clients who sometimes deceive me to get what they want. It can be hard to not become calloused for the next person even though they might legitimately need me. As I sit here now, I’m reminded of an old song by Petra called “Don’t Let Your Heart be Hardened.” I just looked up the song and listened to it. Frankly, it sounded pretty trite and “easy to say,” until I got to the last verse:
Let His love rain down upon you Breaking up your fallow ground Let it loosen all the binding Till only tenderness is found
I think that the key to be really becoming forgiving and merciful is coming to deep terms with how sinful I really am and how much I really grieve you sometimes. And also how sinful I was before I finally turned to you and started worshipping you faithfully. But when I really see myself in the mirror, accept who I am and what I’ve been forgiven of, then I will more easily give your love and forgiveness to others. Help me to do all of this, Father.
Good sweet earth Sleeves rolled up and hands buried in the dirt I can see you there in one of dad’s old shirts Showin’ me how life’s supposed to work
Good straight lines You need seed and sweat and soil and sweet sunshine And once those roots take hold, you’ll be just fine
It’s a beautiful design It just takes love (love) and faith (faith) and grace, a little time
We’re all sons and daughters, just ripples on the water Tryna make it matter until our time to leave One day, they’ll carve your name in stone And send your soul on home ‘Til then it’s prayin’ for rain and pullin’ up the weeds Plantin’ trees we’ll never see
First day of spring The whole world’s wakin’ up and turnin’ green And everything connects to everything
It’s a beautiful design It just takes love and faith and grace, a little time
We’re all sons and daughters, just ripples on the water Tryna make it matter until our time to leave One day, they’ll carve your name in stone And send your soul on home ‘Til then it’s prayin’ for rain and pullin’ up the weeds Plantin’ trees we’ll never see
Statues fall and glory fades But a 100-year-old oak tree still gives shade
We’re all sons and daughters, just ripples on the water Tryna make it matter, until our time to leave One day, they’ll carve our name in stone And send our souls on home ‘Til then it’s prayin’ for rain and pullin’ up the weeds ‘Til then it’s prayin’ for rain and pullin’ up the weeds Plantin’ trees we’ll never see
Dear God, well, I would have lost the song-selection BINGO I wanted to play last night, coming up with the songs I thought Amy Grant would play for her concert. She did nothing from her first three albums, which really surprised me (“Old Man’s Rubble,” “My Father’s Eyes,” “Walking Away with You”). But some of the songs she released since I followed her career closely were lovely. This is the one that really struck me.
So much of my life–of every life–is about the seeds we plant that we never see the fruit from. And some of those seeds die. Some fall on the path. Some on the rocks. Some in the vines and thorns. But for those seeds that find the good soil… Well, that fruit can be stunning.
I remember when my kids were young and I would pray that the good seeds we were planting would find good soil and grow. Perhaps I should have prayed against the bad seeds we planted. That they would land on the path or in the rocks. But I still pray for the good seeds my wife and I tried to plant. That some of them are still in there. Still growing. Maybe dormant. Maybe I can’t see it above the soil. Not that I don’t see tons of good fruit in their lives and I know you had us have a role in planting. Especially my wife. She’s such a great woman. And our children have amazing and wonderful strengths. Oh, Father, continue to love them and grow them into people who are wholly yours. For their significant others. For the people around them who invest into their lives. I pray that you will live in and speak through all of them. Fill them all with your Spirit.
Father, I might not live to see all of the fruit from the seeds my life has planted. Both the good fruit and the bad fruit. That’s what the weeding is about, I suppose. I certainly made mistakes. I continue to make them. But my heart is to worship you with everything I have, love others, and then that will be enough for me. I don’t have to see the fruit. I don’t have to see the results. In fact, that is zero chance I will know all of the effects of my life. That’s good. Because it’s not about me. It’s about you. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
