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Category Archives: Hymns and Songs

“Your Love Stays with Me” — Gary Chapman

15 Mar

“Your Love Stays with Me” by Gary Chapman

It’s dark in here
I feel so alone
But there’s a light
That Somebody just turned on
It opened my eyes
And lets me see
And once again
it amazes me

How your love stays with me
When shadows fall
And everybody leaves
I’m not alone
I know I’ll never be
Your love stays with me

When cold rains fall against my skin
It chills my body
But not the soul within
‘Cause I’ve got a fire
And it burns so bright
It keeps me warm
Through the longest night

Oh, how your love stays with me
When shadows fall
And everybody leaves
I’m not alone
I know I’ll never be
Your love stays with me

Written by Mike Reid and Rory Bourke

Dear God, I find it fascinating that when I want to spend some time in deep prayer about something I usually have a song from the recesses of my mind come out of hiding. In this case, “Your Love Stays with Me” by Gary Chapman popped into my head. I love the sound of this song as much of the lyrics. The simple piano, the soulful sound, and the humble lyrics combine to great effect.

It’s a Sunday and all over the world churches are empty. I understand why, but something seems so wrong about that. Churches have always been a touch point for us during tragedies. Pearl Harbor. D-Day. VE-Day. Kennedy assassination. Apollo 13. 9/11. People go back to you through the local church. Now, most of those doors are closed. Will we miss you or will this be the beginning of us not going to you during those times of crisis?

For me, I’ve decided that I need to really have some focused prayer time. I want to pray for world political leaders, health leaders, spiritual leaders, etc. I also want to pray for local leaders. Everyone from a mayor to the director of the local community choir. I want to pray for my own work and how I lead our charitable medical clinic through this unknown wilderness. As a medical clinic, we can’t simply shut down. But there are certain things we can do that will be smart. Where do I draw that line? Then there’s my role in loving my wife and helping care for loved ones around us. And I have a role in this community where others look to me for my opinion. In fact, I had someone call me last night and ask that I speak to their group about what to do. I found another solution, but it’s a certain type of responsibility that I have.

So let me go back to this song and then pray about these things.

It’s dark in here
I feel so alone
But there’s a light
That Somebody just turned on
It opened my eyes
And lets me see
And once again
it amazes me

I think a lot of people are feeling the darkness right now. It is evidenced by the runs on the stores. I’m convinced that if so much of our commerce weren’t electronic and not cash-based there would be runs on the banks. Will anyone look for the light to turn on? Will anyone look for you? Will we look to you for our peace? Will we look to you for direction? Will pastors be able to shift their paradigm and figure out how to be the church in this new set of circumstances?

But when we open our eyes and see you there is peace. You love us. You don’t promise how any of this will work out for us on this earth, but you continuously encourage us to not be afraid. You amaze me.

When cold rains fall against my skin
It chills my body
But not the soul within
‘Cause I’ve got a fire
And it burns so bright
It keeps me warm
Through the longest night

I happened to be in a situation yesterday when cold rain fell against my skin while I was on a three-hour bike ride. Is there a metaphor in there that would go with this verse? I never got too cold because my movement kept me warm. Does my continuing to move in my relationship with you keep me warm? Well, the metaphor might be a stretch, but I suppose I can make it fit.

The big thing is that this is where my “peace” thing comes in. The fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) are love, joy, peace, patience… I’ve said for a long time that peace is my litmus test. I can fake the others, but I cannot fake the peace. When I’m good with you then peace tends to transcend my being. When I find myself not at peace, it’s usually driven by fear or insecurity. It’s driven by losing sight of serving you and instead focusing on serving others for my glory or benefit. To feed my own ego. But the Holy Spirit fire in my heart, when I let it burn, will keep me warm in the longest night.

Oh, how your love stays with me
When shadows fall
And everybody leaves
I’m not alone
I know I’ll never be
Your love stays with me

Yes, your love stays with me. Shadows are daunting. They are scary. Satan wants to mess with my mind right now and suggest that I will run out of food (or the ability to clean myself when I go to the bathroom). He wants me to believe that I should be scared and hide. The truth is, I can be at peace. I’m not alone. I’ve never been alone. I’ve seen you provide in miraculous ways before. You are a great God and you will provide for me one way or another. And should I contract this disease. Should I become one of the 2-3% who die from it, I’ll be okay. My wife will be okay. My children and relatives will be okay. Because your love stays with all of us.

Now, as I sit down and try to sort through some of this work stuff, please guide me and be with me. Help me to hear you. Make my path straight.

I pray for the pastors here in our community and across the world. Lead through them. Speak through them. Lead a revival in them and through them. Let your church be the church you always intended it to be.

Do not let this pain and grief return void. Make it count, Father. Comfort those who have already lost someone or who are concerned about their loved ones who are either sick or quarantined because of possible exposure. Comfort those afflicted with the disease and all other diseases.

Help guide our appointed health and human service officials. Guide our local primary care doctors all the way up to the highest health officials around the world. Give them humility. Give them wisdom and discernment. Fill them with your presence and your perspective.

And for our political leaders. May they be given a sense of your presence in their lives. Help them to stop blaming and posturing. Help them to stop trying to use this as any sort of advantage. I’ll be bold enough to ask that you use this to transform our leaders into the men and women you need and long for them to be. That we need them to be.

Father, this is unprecedented to me, but it isn’t unprecedented to you. This is overwhelming to me, but it isn’t overwhelming to you. I don’t know where all of this is going, how it all works out, or what I should do in the meantime, but you do. So help us. Help us to humble ourselves before you and seek you first and your righteousness.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 15, 2020 in Hymns and Songs

 

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“Arms of Love” by Amy Grant

10 Mar

“Arms of Love” by Amy Grant

Lord, I’m really glad you’re here.
I hope you feel the same when you see all my fear,
and how I fail.
I fall sometimes.

It’s hard to walk in sinking sand.
I miss the rock, and find I’ve nowhere else to stand.
I start to cry.
Lord, please help me.
Raise my hands, so you can lift me up.
Hold me close, hold me tighter.

I have found a place where I can hide;
it’s safe inside
your arms of love.
Like a child who’s held throughout a storm;
I’m safe and warm
in your arms of love.

Storms may come and storms may go.
I wonder just how many storms it takes
until I finally know
you’re here always.
Even when my skies are far from grey.
Let me stay, Lord, teach me to stay.

In the place I’ve found where I can hide;
it’s safe inside
your arms of love.
Like a child who’s held throughout a storm;
I’m safe and warm
in your arms of love.

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Gary W Chapman / Amy Grant Gill / Michael Whitaker Smith

 

Dear God, last night I had the glums. I just felt a little down. Depressed is too strong, but I was definitely feeling…well, a lack of peace. I was wondering why when it started to occur to me that they uncertainty about the Corona Virus and how it will impact the charitable clinic where I work, our fundraising, etc. might be getting to me. In the grand scheme of things, I’m embarrassed that something like this could derail me so easily.

Since I had lost some of my peace, it made me wonder what I had started doing in my relationship with you that might have distracted me. My conclusion was that I have been so focused on this Mothers of the Bible and Fathers of the Bible series that I haven’t been spending much, if any, time in personal worship.

Then, as I was going to bed, this song from my childhood came to mind. I think it came out around 1981. It wasn’t the most famous song on Amy Grant’s Age to Age album, but it’s a good one. So I thought I would spend some time with it today. It seemed to capture what I was experiencing.

Lord, I’m really glad you’re here.
I hope you feel the same when you see all my fear,
and how I fail.
I fall sometimes.

This just seems so honest and transparent. I’m glad I know I have you to pray to and talk to. I hope you’re glad you have me, even after knowing who I really am and what I’ve really done or failed to do. This beginning of the first verse is a nice set up.

It’s hard to walk in sinking sand.
I miss the rock, and find I’ve nowhere else to stand.
I start to cry.
Lord, please help me.
Raise my hands, so you can lift me up.
Hold me close, hold me tighter.

That’s what I felt like I had done yesterday. I tried to walk, but I had missed the rock. I missed your rock. I missed just spending time worshiping you. So help me to raise my hands so you can life me up (the most poetic line of the song). I’m not much of a hand raiser, but is that one of the things I’m missing out on by not raising my hands in worship? Do I miss the opportunity to have you life me up? Then there’s the last three words: “hold me tighter.” How tight can you hold me? What a great image.

Storms may come and storms may go.
I wonder just how many storms it takes
until I finally know
you’re here always.
Even when my skies are far from grey.
Let me stay, Lord, teach me to stay.

I often try to put myself in the position of the songwriters when I hear songs like this. I don’t know if it was Michael, Gary, or Amy that wrote these lyrics, of if they sat together and wrote them, but I can see exploring the idea of the ups and downs of life and how we are continuously learning to have the same relationship with you regardless of our circumstances. The same peace. The same joy. Yes, we might mourn, but there can be a peace and joy that under-girds it all.

I have found a place where I can hide;
it’s safe inside
your arms of love.
Like a child who’s held throughout a storm;
I’m safe and warm
in your arms of love.

It seems like there were several songs with this sentiment back in the 80s. Twila Paris’s “The Warrior is a Child” and such. I guess there have been a couple of times in my life where I just wanted to shut down and hide from the storm, but I’m not sure that’s what you are calling me to do. When I think of this, I think of Elijah running and hiding in the cave. You finally ask him, “What are you doing here.” (1 Kings 19:9-13) The thought of hiding in your arms is nice, but I think you are more interested in us walking through the storm with you by our side (or carrying us through the storm as in “Footprints in the Sand“). It’s a fine line to walk between hiding in your arms and riding in your arms.

Father, thank you for your arms of love. Thank you that they stretched out through Jesus to forgive me. Thank you that they reach out and lift me up. Thank you for holding me and comforting me. And thank you for using them to provide for me, even when I don’t feel like you are.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 10, 2020 in Hymns and Songs

 

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“Even If” by MercyMe

25 Feb

“Even If” by MercyMe

They say sometimes you win some
Sometimes you lose some
And right now, right now I’m losing bad
I’ve stood on this stage night after night
Reminding the broken it’ll be alright
But right now, oh right now I just can’t
It’s easy to sing
When there’s nothing to bring me down
But what will I say
When I’m held to the flame
Like I am right now

I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone

They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain
Well good thing
A little faith is all I have, right now
But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Oh give me the strength to be able to sing
It is well with my soul

I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You’d just say the word
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone

You’ve been faithful, You’ve been good
All of my days
Jesus, I will cling to You
Come what may

‘Cause I know You’re able
I know You can
I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, I know the hurt
Would all go away if You’d just say the word
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone

It is well with my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Bart Millard / Ben Glover / Crystal Lewis / David Garcia / Tim Timmons

Dear God, I thought about just titling this prayer journal entry “Apology.” I owe you an apology. Now, I know that goes without saying. There is so much I do wrong. I can sin with the best of them, and I am, indeed, sorry for those things. But this is different. I’m not sure I’ve ever apologized to you for thinking you were unfaithful to me or your word.

My wife and I went through some trials a few years ago, and I remember telling friends, “I knew that when I became a Christian that I wouldn’t be protected from suffering, but in praying for my children and loved ones, I thought there would be some amount of protection.” One friend responded to me that I was disappointed in you. Yes, I thought. That’s it. I’m disappointed.

Well, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for ever being disappointed in the God of the universe. I’m sorry for ever thinking that I deserve better than I’m getting.

The song above, “Even If,” is a good song. It’s one of those that really works in a church setting. It says all of the right things. I can picture myself standing in a church with this song on the overhead and singing along–and even meaning it. But it’s the story that the lead singer tells in the video I’ve attached that helped me see that I owe you an apology.

The other thing that helped me see it was some of the stuff I’m been doing with Naomi and Ruth chapter 1 lately. One thought that occurred to me is that Naomi owes you an apology for trying to rename herself Mara. You were there the whole time. You were making a way, not only for her, but also all of Israel. You hadn’t made her life bitter. It just didn’t look how she thought she deserved it to…ohhhhhh. That’s me. I guess I owe you an apology too.

Father, I am sorry. I know you are able to do anything. I know you can change any life circumstance at your own will. But even if you don’t, my hope is in you alone. I choose to instead tell you thank you for loving me. I choose to let go of my selfishness and what I think I deserve to simply say, “It is well with my soul.”

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 25, 2020 in Hymns and Songs

 

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“Nobody” by Casting Crowns (featuring Matthew West)

23 Feb

“Nobody” by Casting Crowns (featuring Matthew West)

Why you ever chose me has always been a mystery
All my life I’ve been told I belong at the end of the line
With all the other not-quites, with all the never-get-in-rights
But it turns out they’re the ones You were lookin’ for all this time

‘Cause I’m just a nobody, tryin’ to tell everybody
All about somebody who saved my soul
Ever since You rescued me, you gave my heart a song to sing
I’m livin’ for the world to see nobody but Jesus
I’m living for the world to see nobody but Jesus

Well, Moses had stage fright, and David brought a rock to a sword fight
You picked 12 outsiders nobody would’ve chosen and you changed the world
Well, the moral of the story is everybody’s got a purpose
So, when I hear that Devil start talkin’ to me, sayin’,
“Who do you think you are?” I say

I’m just a nobody, trying to tell everybody
All about Somebody who saved my soul
Ever since You rescued me, you gave my heart a song to sing
I’m livin’ for the world to see nobody but Jesus
I’m livin’ for the world to see nobody but Jesus

So let me go down, down, down in history
As another blood-bought faithful member of the family
And if they all forget my name, well that’s fine with me
I’m livin’ for the world to see nobody but Jesus

So let me go down, down, down in history
As another blood-bought faithful member of the family
And if they all forget my name, well that’s fine with me
I’m livin’ for the world to see nobody but Jesus

‘Cause I’m just a nobody, trying to tell everybody
All about Somebody who saved my soul
Ever since you rescued me, You gave my heart a song to sing
I’m livin’ for the world to see nobody but Jesus
I’m livin’ for the world to see nobody but Jesus
I’m livin’ for the world to see nobody but Jesus

Written by Bernie Herms, Mark Hall, and Matthew West

Dear God, this song is exactly what I needed this morning. I’ve found that the most important thing I can do on the mornings I preach is get my heart right before you. It has to be you speaking through me. It has to be the Holy Spirit. If I get up there out of my own ego then I have failed everyone involved, most especially you. So I decided I needed to start with some praise music. I contemplated going to my usual mix on my phone, but wanted something fresh. I chose to try Christian music videos on YouTube and let it pick my mix (it’s almost like I was casting lots). I thought about whom I wanted to hear and I thought of Casting Crowns. I searched “Casting Crowns songs” and it gave me a mix starting with this song.

I’ve heard “Nobody” before, and I haven’t loved it. It sounded a little too spot-on for my taste. Too Christian-y. Too obvious. Like a Sunday school lesson with no depth. But this morning I sat down and listened to it while watching the video. It’s exactly what my heart needed to hear on a morning when I will stand in front of people and hopefully–prayerfully–deliver your message to them. When I’m standing up there, I’m just a nobody trying to tell all of them about what you have taught me. You have taught me through my successes, but more often than not you have taught me through my failures. You have taught me through my struggles and insecurities. You have taught me through repentance and forgiveness. I’m just one of them, standing in front of them give them hope, direction, inspiration and lead them in worship of and devotion to you.

So let’s look at this song in four chunks: the two verses, the chorus, and the bridge.

Why you ever chose me has always been a mystery
All my life I’ve been told I belong at the end of the line
With all the other not-quites, with all the never-get-it-rights
But it turns out they’re the ones You were lookin’ for all this time

I will confess to you that I’ve never wondered why you chose me. I grew up in the church at an early enough age that I never doubted that you came for everyone, including me. Now, where this verse does fit me is the idea that I do feel like I don’t measure up. I don’t measure up to others’ expectations, and I certainly don’t measure up to who you are or would want me to be. I have received your mercy and grace for this, and I am grateful, although I do confess that I take this for granted often. It’s such an amazing gift, how could I not? There’s no way I’ll ever be able to intellectually understand just how amazing your grace is.

Well, Moses had stage fright, and David brought a rock to a sword fight
You picked twelve outsiders nobody would’ve chosen and you changed the world
Well, the moral of the story is everybody’s got a purpose
So, when I hear that Devil start talkin’ to me, sayin’,
“Who do you think you are?” I say

That’s the beauty of the way you gave us scripture. Outside of Leviticus, Deuteronomy and parts of Exodus, you really didn’t give us an owner’s manual. You gave us a book of stories and letters. And the stories are filled with flawed people. Adam was flawed. Abraham. Noah. Moses. Job. Elijah. David. Peter. Paul. James. John. Mary. Joseph. They were all flawed. But that’s us. We are your people. You love us. My children are flawed and I love them very much. We are flawed and you love us even more.

I’m just a nobody tryin’ to tell everybody
All about Somebody that saved my soul
Ever since You rescued me, You gave my heart a song to sing
I’m livin’ for the world to see nobody but Jesus
I’m livin’ for the world to see nobody but Jesus

That’s it. I almost put an exclamation point there, but it’s more relaxed than that. It’s simple. That’s it. I’m just a guy sharing my faith this morning. I’ve spent time with you in prayer. I’ve studied and contemplated the scriptures. I’ve listened to the Holy Spirit. And now I feel like the Holy Spirit has something to say through me this morning. And the message is all based on things you’ve taught me. Waiting on you. Understanding I can’t see the whole picture. Not expecting all sunshine and roses. Rejoicing and worshipping anyway.

So, let me go down, down, down in history
As another blood-bought faithful member of the family
And if they all forget my name, well that’s fine with me
I’m livin’ for the world to see nobody but Jesus

I wasn’t put on this earth for my glory. I wasn’t put on this earth for fame and attention. I wasn’t put here to be remembered. My life will be largely forgotten two generations from now. My greatgrandchildren will probably know very little about me, if anything at all. But my life will have rippled into theirs in ways they will never know, just as thousands, millions, and even billions of lives have rippled into mine. My name won’t be attached, but if those around me can see you–if my children, my family, and my friends can see you–then my life has a shot at being a catalyst for the world to see you.

Father, help me to decrease as you increase this morning. Love through me. Live through me. Inspire through me. Convict and motivate through me. Let every person there see you and not me.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 

 
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Posted by on February 23, 2020 in Hymns and Songs

 

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“Lord (I Don’t Know)” by Newsboys

20 Feb

https://youtu.be/JZeYMj_WF1M

You are the author of knowledge
You can redeem what’s been done
You hold the present and all that’s to come
Until your everlasting kingdom
Lord, I don’t know where all this is going
Or how it all works out
Lead me to peace that is past understanding
A peace beyond all doubt
You are the God of tomorrow
Turning the darkness to dawn
Lifting the hopeless with hope to go on
You are the rock of all salvation
Lord, I don’t know where all this is going
Or how it all works out
Lead me to peace that is past understanding
A peace beyond all doubt
Oh, Lord, you are the author
Redeeming what’s been done
You hold us in the present
And all that is to come
Lord, we don’t know where all this is going
Or how it all works out
Lead us to peace that is past understanding
A peace beyond all doubt

Dear God, the deeper I get into your presence and studying your word, the more I see the truth in this song. I’m supposed to be leading a devotion for the ministerial association today. It’s interesting that it is coinciding with me preaching this weekend. I think the message will largely be the same–just shorter. The message is that our limited vision makes us completely incapable of seeing what you see. We cannot see where all of this is going. We cannot see how it all works out.

And we are in good company. Noah couldn’t see it. Abraham. Jacob. Moses. Naomi. Ruth. Samuel. Saul. David. Skip to the New Testament. Peter. Paul. James. John. Paul had no idea that his incarceration would bring Christianity to the West. He just knew he wanted to go a different direction and you kept. Closing the door. He knew his incarceration was for you, but he had no idea why.

Now, I have a family member who is really struggling emotionally. Come to think of it, I have several. I have a few that are really facing some major hurdles. Some are scared. Some are fighting for something and they aren’t sure how to get it. Some are fighting and they would be hard-pressed to say why except that they are feeling sorry for themselves. I have a friend undergoing a second back surgery today because the first one only made things worse. I don’t know why she is having to go through this. I don’t know where all of this is going. But I know you can redeem. I know you can heal. I have a relative in the hospital right now. I don’t really know him and probably haven’t seen him in 40 years. But I should be praying for him more than I have because you could be using this in his life to bring him to peace in you.

Father, help me to turn loose of where all of this is going. Help me to stay in the moment with you. Help me to accept the circumstances around me and lead me in the ways in which I should respond to them. Help me to love well. Help me to bring your presence and peace into every situation.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 20, 2020 in Hymns and Songs

 

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Dear Evan Hansen — “Waving Through a Window”

01 Feb

“Waving Through a Window”

I’ve learned to slam on the brake
Before I even turn the key
Before I make the mistake
Before I lead with the worst of me
Give them no reason to stare
No slipping up if you slip away
So I got nothing to share
No, I got nothing to say

Step out, step out of the sun
If you keep getting burned
Step out, step out of the sun
Because you’ve learned, because you’ve learned

On the outside, always looking in
Will I ever be more than I’ve always been?
‘Cause I’m tap, tap, tapping on the glass
I’m waving through a window
I try to speak, but nobody can hear
So I wait around for an answer to appear
While I’m watch, watch, watching people pass
I’m waving through a window, oh
Can anybody see, is anybody waving back at me?

We start with stars in our eyes
We start believing that we belong
But every sun doesn’t rise
And no one tells you where you went wrong

Step out, step out of the sun
If you keep getting burned
Step out, step out of the sun
Because you’ve learned, because you’ve learned

On the outside, always looking in
Will I ever be more than I’ve always been?
‘Cause I’m tap, tap, tapping on the glass
Waving through a window
I try to speak, but nobody can hear
So I wait around for an answer to appear
While I’m watch, watch, watching people pass
Waving through a window, oh
Can anybody see, is anybody waving?

When you’re falling in a forest and there’s nobody around
Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?
When you’re falling in a forest and there’s nobody around
Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?
When you’re falling in a forest and there’s nobody around
Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?
When you’re falling in a forest and there’s nobody around
Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?
Did I even make a sound?
Did I even make a sound?
It’s like I never made a sound
Will I ever make a sound?

On the outside, always looking in
Will I ever be more than I’ve always been?
‘Cause I’m tap, tap, tapping on the glass
Waving through a window
I try to speak, but nobody can hear
So I wait around for an answer to appear
While I’m watch, watch, watching people pass
Waving through a window, oh
Can anybody see, is anybody waving back at me? (oh)
Is anybody waving?
Waving, waving, whoa-oh, whoa-oh

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Benj Pasek / Justin Paul

Dear God, you know that this musical really hit me. Of course, it doesn’t have a spiritual angle to it, but in so many ways you are the answer to the questions people are asking and the loneliness they are facing. One thing I like about this musical is that it doesn’t just look at the story from the students’ views. And it doesn’t just look at it from the parents’ views. While everyone comes into the story touching just one part of the elephant, the audience has the unique perspective of getting to see, while maybe not the entire elephant, multiple parts.

This song is sung by the main character, Evan Hansen, but it coupled be sung by any of them. Conner, Conner’s sister, his parents, Evan’s mom (and even his dad), his friends, etc. Every person in that audience, no matter how popular they were in high school, could identify with this song. I know I could.

So let’s begin looking at it verse by verse, the chorus, and then the bridge.

I’ve learned to slam on the brake
Before I even turn the key
Before I make the mistake
Before I lead with the worst of me
Give them no reason to stare
No slipping up if you slip away
So I got nothing to share
No, I got nothing to say

My first thought is the quote often attributed to Mark Twain: “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than speak and remove all doubt.” In this case, so many of us just don’t want to stand out in the crowd and be thought a fool. That’s why only a few will answer group questions. Just keep your head down and stay off the radar of others–especially bullies.

Also, the part about just not participating because of fear. I’ll confess that I’ve needed people in my lie to push me out of my comfort zone. From parents getting me to do things when I was little to my wife getting me to do things as an adult, I’d rather stay in the relative safety of my own little carefully constructed world. And I had to play that role for my children when they were younger and I need to play it for my wife now. I remember getting pressure from my dad to get a job. The application process alone was intimidating. But it had to be done and I needed that push. That skill served me well later in life when I needed to find a job. Then came my turn to pressure my children to get jobs. They didn’t like it and there was conflict, but they learned.

Last Wednesday, I was at my mentoring session with the sixth grader I mentor when I saw another mentor who is a friend. He mentioned that his mentee is an awkward boy who gets bullied a lot. They normally meet together on a different day, but when I saw them that day I remembered the boy from last year. I saw him each week. He’s a sweet boy, but he is certainly developmentally delayed in some way. I’m glad he has my friend, but I’ve thought about him all week. Seeing him and knowing what he went through took me back to those feelings with my son. . Oh, it hurts to remember. Is there anything I can do to help this boy? I’ve even though about getting my mentee to look out for him, but I’ve also wondered if my boy is one of the bullies. Give me wisdom when we meet next week to know if there is anything I can do to help this situation.

We start with stars in our eyes
We start believing that we belong
But every sun doesn’t rise
And no one tells you where you went wrong

One of the hardest things to do as a parent is send your kids to school that first time. Really, to send them anywhere. Even Sunday school. You’ve had them in a controlled environment that has hopefully been nurturing and loving. Then they go into the world thinking that the rest of the world will treat them the same way, but you know there is pain ahead. You just hope that they will learn to deal with that pain and that it will make them stronger. That would be one of the arguments against homeschooling–that children need to experience the positives and negatives of socialization. Of course, one argument for home school is that it will keep them from being exposed to too much too soon. Both arguments have their good points. Oh, how we just hope it turns out okay.

For my part, I’m still not sure what the final results of my children’s childhoods will be as they become adults. I feel like I am still watching them bake in the oven. I suppose they’ll never stop. I’m still baking too. But this verse starting with the description of Evan’s self confidence eroding into self-doubt through rejection is powerful imagery.

Step out, step out of the sun
If you keep getting burned
Step out, step out of the sun
Because you’ve learned, because you’ve learned

On the outside, always looking in
Will I ever be more than I’ve always been?
‘Cause I’m tap, tap, tapping on the glass
I’m waving through a window
I try to speak, but nobody can hear
So I wait around for an answer to appear
While I’m watch, watch, watching people pass
I’m waving through a window, oh
Can anybody see, is anybody waving back at me?

There’s an interesting juxtaposition between getting out of the sun and presumably going in and then being on the outside, always looking in. I supposed that a lot of us do get conditioned to just stop trying. We’ve been burned too many times. But when we stop, we are left with this sense of loneliness and longing.

One of the things that spoke to me in this musical is the barriers that all of the characters feel. The parents feel like they can’t get to their children (the first song, “Does Anybody Have a Map?“). The children, for their part, feel like they can’t get, really I suppose, to themselves. Evan cannot be comfortable with himself and who he is with others. He feels alone. He feels like who he is as a person is keeping him from others. It’s a barrier he doesn’t know how to overcome. I suppose at some point in these prayer journals I will need to get into the irony of social media connecting and isolating us at the same time, but that will be for another song. For now, I can just feel Evan’s loneliness.

When you’re falling in a forest and there’s [slight chuckle] nobody around
Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?
When you’re falling in a forest and there’s nobody around
Do you [slight chuckle] ever really crash, or even make a sound?
[emotion builds] When you’re falling in a forest and there’s nobody around
Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?
[emotion builds more] When you’re falling in a forest and there’s nobody around
Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?
Did I even make a sound?
Did I even make a sound?
It’s like I never made a sound
Will I ever make a sound?

I added some tone-of-voice descriptions to this section. It’s interesting that he kind of chuckles at a couple of points in the first two lines. If you haven’t seen the musical you won’t get the forest reference, but he’s recalling how he broke his arm by falling out of a tree in the forest. He describes at the beginning how he kept waiting for a ranger or someone to find him, but no one ever came so he had to go and find someone.

His life feels so insignificant, he is taking that metaphor (and the famous existential question about a branch falling in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound) and applying it to his entire life. Is anything that I do consequential?

At the end of the bridge, the last four lines overtly personalize it. Did I make a sound? I have no evidence that I have made a difference in anyone’s life. Will my life ever matter?

Of course, It’s a Wonderful Life teaches us how our lives ripple through history. And teenagers are famous for wondering about their meaning in life while simultaneously wanting everything done for them. We’ve all been there. As an adult now, I’ve learned through you that the meaning in my life is found in giving of myself. In fact, in November, I was listening to an interview Charlie Rose did with Fred Rogers. Mr. Rogers gave this quote that I wrote down: “Have you ever know anybody who was really satisfied or happy who had never made a difference in somebody else’s life?” The answer to this question really does wash away a ton of emptiness.

Father, I am here to worship you and give your love to others. If I am not about doing those two things then my life will be empty. “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40) That’s what Jesus said. It’s really that simple. Oh, Holy Spirit, help me to do these two things for the glory of the Father, the Son, and your glory as well.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 1, 2020 in Dear Evan Hansen, Hymns and Songs

 

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Dear Evan Hansen — “Does Anybody Have A Map?”

12 Jan
https://youtu.be/–F-nTJM4kQ
Mom: Have you been writing those letters to yourself? “Dear Evan Hansen, this is going to be a good day and here’s why…”
Evan: I started one.
Mom: Those letters are important honey. They’re going to help you build your confidence
Evan: I guess
Mom: Can we try to have an optimistic outlook? Huh? Can we buck just enough to see the world won’t fall apart? Maybe this year we decide we’re not giving up before we’ve tried. This year, we’ll make a new start. I know you can go around today and ask the other kids to sign your cast. How about that?
Evan: Perfect (sarcasm implied)
Mom: I’m proud of you already.
Evan: Oh…Good…
Mom (by herself): Another stellar conversation for the scrapbook. Another stumble as I’m reaching for the right thing to say. I’m kind of coming up empty, can’t find my way to you…Does anybody have map, anybody maybe happen to know how the hell to do this? I don’t know if you can tell but this is me just pretending to know. So where’s the map? I need a clue ‘cuz the scary truth is I’m flying blind and I’m making this up as I go.
—-
Mom: It’s your senior year, Conner. You are not missing the first day.
Conner: I already said I’d go tomorrow.
Dad: He doesn’t listen. Look at him. He’s probably high.
Sister: He’s definitely high.
Mom: I don’t want you going to school high, Conner
Conner: Perfect, so then I won’t go. Thanks, Mom!
Mom: Another masterful attempt ends with disaster.
Dad: Interstate is already jammed.
Mom: Pour another cup of coffee and watch it all crash and burn.
Sister: Conner finished the milk
Mom: It’s a puzzle, it’s a maze. I try to steer through it a million ways, but each day’s another wrong turn.
Dad: I’d better head out.
Sister: If Conner’s not ready I’m leaving without him.
—
Both Moms: Does anybody have a map, anybody maybe happen to know how the hell to do this? I don’t know if you can tell, but this is me just pretending to know. So where’s the map? I need a clue ‘cuz the scary truth is I’m flying blind, I’m flying blind, I’m flying blind, and I’m making this up as I go…as I go

Dear God, I actually prayed to you about this song earlier, but it was all lost in a saving error, and I just couldn’t bare to lose it so I thought I just look at this song one more time. Maybe it will be better a second time–kind of like watching a movie a second time and catching things you missed the first time.

The first thing is that this song is obviously all about the two moms. Both living in different worlds, and both desperate to break through the walls all around them, especially with their boys.

The musical actually opens up before this song with Evan talking to his friend on the computer. His mom walks in the room and he slams the laptop lid shut. It exhibits instant distrust. The Evan doesn’t trust him mom to be part of that world, and his mom must wonder what Evan is hiding. As a parent, those walls can be so difficult. You move from a time of being part of your child’s world and being trusted to being excluded. And while the children are kind of ready for that break, in a way they aren’t. Oh, the teen years just seem like such a cruel process for both the children and the parents. As a dad who went through it with two children, I can say that I knew it would be hard, but I still underestimated. When I saw the musical, it was painful to watch a lot of this from the parents’ perspective.

In the Evan’s mom’s little speech about bucking up and having a positive attitude, you can almost feel how she wishes she could do this for him. It’s almost like she’s saying, “Honey, I’ve been in this hole before and I know the way out.”

Shift to Conner’s family. Instant battling, and I can’t help but notice that the dad already seems to have surrendered. While the mom is trying to pull the fat out of the fire the father’s words are:

He doesn’t listen. Look at him. He’s probably high.

Interstate is already jammed.

I’d better head out.

You can tell he’s already charged hell with his water pistol too many times and he’s done. This battle is his wife’s to fight if she still wants to.

The sister is done with Conner too.

He’s definitely high.

Conner finished the milk.

If Conner’s not ready I’m leaving without him.

One of the setups is that Conner doesn’t have any friends. I find this puzzling on the part of the writers. It seems like kids like Conner would always have plenty of like-minded people to see at school and get high with outside of school.

But back to the moms. After all, it is there song. The feel so alone. Even Conner’s mom is alone in her quest to help her son. They are looking for ways into their sons’ lives.

One thing I used to wonder when my children were that age was, “What does it look like to turn your children over to God?” They were still children. They were under my roof. I had a responsibility. Sure, now that they are grown I can turn them over to you and be in the background to support them, but while they were still in school I could never find that place of peace with them. I never found a good answer to my question, and I still don’t know.

Father, I pray for my adult children. I pray for my wife as we try to find our way in still being their parents now that they are adults. I pray for my sisters and brothers-in-law as they raise their children. I pray for my nieces and nephews. It’s so hard. Show my wife and me how to be there for all of them as well. Whatever I can do in any life around me, including the sixth-grade boy I am mentoring, please let me know what you would have me do. Give me eyes to see and ears to hear. And for every time I have grieved you as you have tried to be my father, I am truly sorry.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on January 12, 2020 in Dear Evan Hansen, Hymns and Songs

 

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“Good Christian Men, Rejoice!”

25 Dec

“Good Christian Men, Rejoice!”

Good Christian men, rejoice
With heart and soul and voice!
Give ye heed to what we say
Jesus Christ is born today
Man and beast before Him bow
And He is in the manger now
Christ is born today
Christ is born today!

Good Christian men, rejoice
With heart and soul and voice!
Now ye hear of endless bliss
Jesus Christ was born for this
He hath opened heaven’s door
And man is blessed forevermore
Christ was born for this
Christ was born for this!

Good Christian men rejoice
With heart and soul and voice!
Now ye need not fear the grave
Jesus Christ was born to save
Calls you one, and calls you all
To gain His everlasting hall
Christ was born to save
Christ was born to save!

Dear God, why are we–why am I–so bad at getting this word out? Christ was born to save! The first verse of this son is just announcing who he is and how we should worship him. The second verse talks about the afterlife and our access to eternity with you through Jesus. And I suppose the third verse does this as well, but I left this song thinking about a sermon by Andy Stanley I listened to yesterday. I have such freedom and peace to tell people about. Why don’t I do it more.

I’ll be getting into this more when I start doing my series on Dear Evan Hansen next week, but there is so much loneliness out there. People feel so isolated. It’s tragic, really. And I’ve been becoming more and more aware of how many elderly are alone and even struggling to care for themselves. Okay, I’m off topic now, but I guess my point is, I don’t see a lot of Christians rejoicing. And I don’t see them selling rejoicing to the world. We tend to sell judgment. We tend to sell rules. We tend to sell guilt or even fear. Why don’t we sell rejoicing?

Father, help me to, first, live out your joy and freedom and, second, to share it with others. There are a lot of needs around me. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I can’t do it all, and I don’t think I should. But help me to know the role you have for me to make a difference in our community so that, through my life, your kingdom might come and your will might be done on earth as it is in heaven.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on December 25, 2019 in Christmas Hymns, Hymns and Songs

 

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“Silent Night”

24 Dec

“Silent Night”

Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon virgin mother and child!
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glory streams from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing, “Alleluia!
Christ the Saviour is born
Christ the Saviour is born”

Silent night, holy night
Son of God, loves pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth

Silent night, holy night
Wondrous Star, lend thy light
With the angels let us sing
Alleluia to our King
Christ the Saviour is born
Christ the Saviour is born

Dear God, I’ve been saving this one for Christmas Eve. It’s the standard candlelight service hymn. When the lights go out and we pass the flame of the candle from one person to another, we all sing this standard. No matter the church service or denomination I’ve been to for a Christmas Eve service, I’m pretty sure this was the hymn for that moment. It’s quite beautiful. So gentle. So peaceful.

It starts with just the image. A mom holding her child. It’s calm at the moment. Yes, they are in a barn, but after the travel, the uncomfortable pregnant woman having to camp out, the frantic search for a place to give birth, and the pain of childbirth, this moment is quiet and peaceful. And the rest won’t last. There will be things to do, but this moment…this moment is peaceful.

Then the shepherds arrive. They were told to be there by angels and they tell Mary and Joseph their story. I’m sure that this was a great comfort to the new parents as they tried to make sense of everything that was happening. Did they feel like failures for having had to give birth to your son in a barn? Did they doubt what they had heard from the angels in that moment? Well, if they did, here come the shepherds telling stories of angels in the hills proclaiming Jesus’s birth and pointing them to the barn. God did know they were there! The angels knew they were there! What an affirmation!

And now the baby. I don’t know how radiant Jesus actually was, but it’s a nice thought to think that he had a glow about him. Surely there was something that gave the newborn Jesus a different countenance than the average baby. And here’s a reference to the dawn. The Sun (Son?) rising. Hope. It’s the new advent of redeeming grace. Even in birth, Jesus was deserving of our worship, as the shepherds displayed.

In this last verse we join the angels in their worship from the second verse. And so, Father, I sing this morning, “Alleluia! Christ the Saviour is born!”

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on December 24, 2019 in Christmas Hymns, Hymns and Songs

 

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“O Holy Night”

23 Dec

img_2596

“O Holy Night”

O holy night, the stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour’s birth;
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
‘Till he appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn;

Fall on your knees, Oh hear the angel voices!
O night divine! O night when Christ was born.
O night divine, O night, O night divine.

Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is Love and His gospel is Peace;
Chains shall he break, for the slave is our brother,
And in his name all oppression shall cease,
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful Chorus raise we;
Let all within us praise his Holy name!

Christ is the Lord, let all the people praise Him!
His pow’r and glory, evermore proclaim!
His pow’r and glory, evermore proclaim!

Dear God, I have to start with a little surprise. I wanted to do this hymn, but I couldn’t find it in any of the three hymnals I have in my home, and they represent the Baptist, Catholic, and Presbyterian Churches. That was odd. So I had to go and get the lyrics from the Internet. I didn’t expect that.

With that said, this is a great hymn. I want to just take a look at the lines that strike me:

  • Verse 1: “Till he appeared, and the soul felt its worth (emphasis mine).” What is my soul’s worth? Well, it’s huge to you. My sin and shame can bog me down and hide the value of my soul. But repentance brings freedom and uncovers exactly what my soul is worth. What a beautiful choice of words! He appeared in my life, and my soul did, indeed, feel its worth.
  • Verse 1: “A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.” “Hope” is an amazing thing that Jesus offers. Hope for something beyond ourselves. Hope for something beyond what we see. Hope that there is something beyond our own wisdom. Hope that there is something beyond our insecurity and hate, our selfishness and pride. Because yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
  • First Chorus: “Fall on your knees, oh hear the angel voices.” This is how you get there. No pride. No posturing. You fall on your knees, humble yourself and worship with the angels.
  • Verse 2: “Truly He taught us to love one another.” That’s the life Jesus lived. By coming to earth as human, he taught us through example, and there is example after example of Jesus loving people unreasonably.
  • Verse 2: “In his name, all oppression shall cease.” Okay, I have to say that this hasn’t really happened. Plenty of Christians oppress others in Jesus’s name. I’ve probably done it too. No, this is a nice idea, but I don’t think it’s a vision realized.
  • Chorus 2: “Christ is the Lord, let all the people praise Him.” Yes and yes. Jesus, you are the Lord. You are part of my God. The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. I will praise you.

Father, tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Let it be a day when I will actually be very mindful of you and who you are. Let it be a day of worship.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on December 23, 2019 in Christmas Hymns, Hymns and Songs

 

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