17 Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord—Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here—has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” 18 Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptized, 19 and after taking some food, he regained his strength.
Acts 9:17-19a
Dear God, the thing that strikes me about this story is how Paul went from really proud just days before to completely humbled. He carried a righteous indignation about persecuting Christians in your name. He arrested, at least was complicit in a killing, and reviled so many people. One of the interesting things about his transformation is that you were able to use the zealous part of his personality to great effect, but his anger seemed to subside. He no longer hated people who disagreed with him (although he was now on the other side of the fence). He loved them in a new way. In addition to his humility, your grace brought love to him too.
There are a lot of times that I am so prideful. Before I started working for nonprofits and depending upon the charity of others for my livelihood and the livelihood of my coworkers, I used to say that I could never be a missionary and live on the support of others. I also tend to get very proud of my political views, my religious views and my judgments on how others live their lives. But your grace is molding me. And it really does feel better to let go. There is freedom in letting go of any kind of façade that I might put on for someone else. Just as Paul experienced freedom and grace, so too have I felt more joy when I let go of my own life and simply embrace you and the reality that you give to me.
Father, help me to love well, worship you, and root out the remaining areas in my life where my pride rules me. Forgive me of my arrogance and help me to understand embrace humility—if for no other reason that my being humble makes it easier on the people who love me.
In Jesus’ name I pray,
Amen
Emails to God 