"How Long, O Lord" by Daniel Schutte
Based on Psalm 13, 22

Refrain: 
How long, O lord, will you hide your face
How long will the heavens be silent?
How long, O Lord, must we call out your name
'til you hear us and reach out your hand?

Verse 1:
Behold your children, forgotten, foresaken
Lost in our shame and our sadness.
Our hearts are barren, our spirits are broken.
Where is the love that you promised?

Verse 2:
Our hope is shaken, poured out like water
Dried like the sand in the desert.
Our hearts are hungry, famished and frightened
Where is the love that your promised?

Verse 3
By day we crow out in hunger and heartache
Hoping that heaven will hear us.
At night, in darkness, our spirits are restless
Waiting the dawn of your promise.

Verse 4
For you our parents had gambled their future
Trusting their fate to your kindness
Through fire and famine seeking their homeland
Staking their lives on your promise.

Dear God, in a couple of nights I’m going to be talking about prayers of desperation for a Lenten service. I picked Psalm 42, Elijah in the cave, and Jesus in the garden as the passages to be read.

We just don’t talk about praying through our pain enough. Modern songs are mostly about overcoming and victory in you, but we forget that sometimes we just need to lament. We feel weak. We feel betrayed. Maybe even abandoned. Maybe we can recognize that it was our sin that lead us away from you and to our current situation. But maybe it’s just life and neither the blind man nor his parents sinned to cause this situation (John 9). Maybe it is here so that your glory might ultimately shine. And it might be years before the glory shines.

The other thing for me to remember is that the lament keeps me on my knees. Even now, as I type this, I stopped typing for a few moments while I thought about sorrows in my life. Pain that I feel. And I see no end in sight. But that pain has become such a part of me now through the last several years that I’m not sure what my life would look like without it. Would I be who I am without that pain. Who would I be?

Father, I need to start putting together an outline of my talk on Wednesday. I think a piece of what I’m going to say is that we would not be who we are without the pain in our lives. For David, the author of the psalms that inspired this hymn, he wouldn’t have been who he became without the years of running from Saul. Elijah wouldn’t have been who he was without having to run from Ahab and Jezebel. Jesus’s sacrifice wouldn’t have been legitimate if he hadn’t shown us his pain in the garden. This life shapes us. Molds us. And if we allow you to use it to form us in the right way, then you have an opportunity to fill us. So form me into your vessel and then fill me with your Holy Spirit.

It’s with that Holy Spirit and through Jesus I pray,

Amen