¹² And I want you to know, my dear brothers and sisters, that everything that has happened to me here has helped to spread the Good News. ¹³ For everyone here, including the whole palace guard, knows that I am in chains because of Christ. ¹⁴ And because of my imprisonment, most of the believers here have gained confidence and boldly speak God’s message without fear.

¹⁵ It’s true that some are preaching out of jealousy and rivalry. But others preach about Christ with pure motives. ¹⁶ They preach because they love me, for they know I have been appointed to defend the Good News. ¹⁷ Those others do not have pure motives as they preach about Christ. They preach with selfish ambition, not sincerely, intending to make my chains more painful to me. ¹⁸ But that doesn’t matter. Whether their motives are false or genuine, the message about Christ is being preached either way, so I rejoice. And I will continue to rejoice. ¹⁹ For I know that as you pray for me and the Spirit of Jesus Christ helps me, this will lead to my deliverance.

²⁰ For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will continue to be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past. And I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die. ²¹ For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. ²² But if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ. So I really don’t know which is better. ²³ I’m torn between two desires: I long to go and be with Christ, which would be far better for me. ²⁴ But for your sakes, it is better that I continue to live.

²⁵ Knowing this, I am convinced that I will remain alive so I can continue to help all of you grow and experience the joy of your faith. ²⁶ And when I come to you again, you will have even more reason to take pride in Christ Jesus because of what he is doing through me.

Philippians 1:12-26

Dear God, this passage makes me think about what impresses me most about Paul and I would love to be able to emulate, but I haven’t quite gotten there yet. At least verbally, he is able to say that his personal circumstances are irrelevant as long as whatever is happening to him is furthering your gospel. He’s in prison, but people are inspired and growing closer to you and sharing your gospel? Fine. He’s been beaten but people see how to live in service to you? Fine. He’d just as soon die and be with you in the new earth, but as long as you have a job for him to do he’ll do it.

I truly question how much I’d be willing to suffer for you. There is a book called Everything Sad is Untrue, and it is about an Iranian woman of Christian faith and her family. A good portion of the book is her life being in danger while she is in Iran simply because of her faith. As much as I love you, am I really willing to say (and mean it) that I am ready to sacrifice everything up to and including my life? I think it’s the physical pain and torture that would scare me the most. Firing squad where I die quickly? Okay. But flogging and torture? I hope not.

Not that following you hasn’t cost me nothing. My life has followed some of the patters of yesterday’s gospel reading on being separated from others due to faith in you. I’ve lost some relationships and I know that at least part of the charge against me is how seriously I try to live out my faith. I’ve wept over it. I’ve felt sorry for myself over it (which reveals to me how selfish I can really be). But you have also formed me through it. You’ve made me more loving towards those from whom I’m divided as well as other sojourners who are going through the same pain.

Father, if I can still be of use to you in this earth then use me. Use me however you will. Start with my wife. Bless her through me. Help me to know how to love my adult children, relatives, and friends. Help me to know how to serve them and serve my community. Help me to know how to share you with others. Help me to see into their hearts and what they need. Make my life a prayer to you.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen