Zayin

⁴⁹ Remember your promise to me;
    it is my only hope.
⁵⁰ Your promise revives me;
    it comforts me in all my troubles.
⁵¹ The proud hold me in utter contempt,
    but I do not turn away from your instructions.
⁵² I meditate on your age-old regulations;
    O Lord, they comfort me.
⁵³ I become furious with the wicked,
    because they reject your instructions.
⁵⁴ Your decrees have been the theme of my songs
    wherever I have lived.
⁵⁵ I reflect at night on who you are, O Lord;
    therefore, I obey your instructions.
⁵⁶ This is how I spend my life:
    obeying your commandments.

Psalm 119:49-56

Dear God, is it bad that I read this Zayim section of Psalm 119 this morning and my first thought was that this guy needs to chill out a little? Yeah, it probably is. What does that say about me?

I’ve been watching the texting thread from the “alumni group” of men from the Christian Men’s Life Skills Class. A lot of them are young. Some of them are new Christians or dormant Christians embracing their faith seriously for the first time, and I can see this psalm really resonating with them because I see so much zeal in them. So much enthusiasm. It’s all so new to them, and they are all-in. As I’ve watched them I’ve wondered why I don’t act that way anymore. I used to. I remember when I was about 21 going to a Bible study with my grandparents and getting frustrated with them because I thought they had lost their saltiness. They were gathered and thinking thoughts about you, but were they doing anything in the world? Were they being salty?

And I honestly don’t think I can be the way some of the CMLS alums are. Not because they are wrong. They aren’t at all! In fact, I appreciate and respect it. Maybe even envy it a little. But I’m also a little farther into the race than they are and some of that newness has worn off. It might be wrong, but I wonder if I haven’t gotten used to your grace. It felt amazing (no allusion to the song intended) the first time I felt it and soaked in it. Now, it’s just something I can appreciate. I guess it’s a little like marriage. When I first met my wife there was great infatuation that accompanied my love for her. We could talk for hours on the phone and had to be with each other every moment. I talked about her all of the time to everyone. And then the natural course of my human brain adjusted to her being in my life. We just had our 33rd wedding anniversary two days ago and while I think we are closer than ever, more in love than ever, and deeper with each other than ever, that ooey gooey emotion isn’t the driver. It’s just deep appreciation and love.

I guess that’s how I feel with you, and I think it’s a good thing. I really do love you. I really do appreciate you. And I really do want others to have this depth of love and relationship with you that I am continually trying to develop. Maybe that’s why I tend to want to spend more time getting people to deeply connect with you beyond the superficial American way of worshipping you on Sunday morning (maybe) and then moving on with life the other 167 hours of the week.

So now that I have all of that out of the way, let me look at these verses and see if I can connect my old soul to this youthful exuberance exhibited in Psalm 119.

• ⁴⁹ Remember your promise to me; it is my only hope. – So after I’ve said all of this about my feelings towards you, how do you feel about me? I know the answer. I know you love me. And I am so grateful for the Holy Spirit’s current presence in my life and for Jesus’s sacrifice and love for me. But I need to always remember that this is a two-way street and to be grateful that you are a faithful bridegroom to me.
• ⁵⁰ Your promise revives me; it comforts me in all my troubles. – There are times when I am very troubled and what comforts me is the promise that my life and experience here is very small compared with you now and eternity with you later. The promise that I am part of your creation that you love and part of your kingdom is what comforts me. It’s not the promise of an easy, good life here because you never promised that. You put me in a world already in motion into a body that will die of something. I guess it’s a little like the people I saw rafting down the river yesterday. They were working, but there was a guide in the back who was guiding. And that didn’t mean they didn’t still hit rocks. That didn’t mean the boat would get punctured and possibly go flat. It just meant they weren’t alone while they did it. Come to think of it, I really like that metaphor. I need to remember it.
• ⁵¹ The proud hold me in utter contempt, but I do not turn away from your instructions. – There are people who do not understand me. Some of them are relatives. Some of them are people in our community who get upset when I don’t respond to the world or to them they way they want me to. Okay.
• ⁵² I meditate on your age-old regulations; O Lord, they comfort me. – Even now, as I sit here in this cabin praying through this ancient poem to you, I am comforted. And for eight verses I didn’t like much when I started–I even scoffed at them a bit–they are really blessing me and comforting me.
• ⁵³ I become furious with the wicked, because they reject your instructions. – It’s interesting how I define “wicked” now. If I were to list the types of people I would label as wicked, I think it would be mostly populated with people who claim faith in you but use it for power over others and to judge them harshly. Who are cruel in your name. Yes, there are some people who are flat out evil at the top of society, but the wicked I think of are those who pervert what Jesus taught us about you into a cruel form of faith.
• ⁵⁴ Your decrees have been the theme of my songs wherever I have lived. – I do hope people see you in my life when they see me. Going back to talking about my marriage, I do still talk about my wife to people all of the time. I do still love her. No one doubts my love for her or that she is the most important part of my life next to you. I just hope that when they see me they can tell as much about you being in my life as they can her.
• ⁵⁵ I reflect at night on who you are, O Lord; therefore, I obey your instructions. – Oh, Father, help me to obey your instructions.
• ⁵⁶ This is how I spend my life: obeying your commandments. May this be true of me.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen