Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.

James 1:2-3

Dear God, I had a trouble this morning, but it was of my own making. I let fear and lack of faith drive me to a dark place of anger and retribution. I lashed out at someone I shouldn’t have, and as I think about it, I think it boils down to the fact that I was worried and I didn’t bring my worry and fear to you. I didn’t let the fruit of love, patience, kindness, self control, and gentleness flow through me. Instead, I went back to my carnal motivations and actions. I am ashamed. I’m ashamed before you. I’m ashamed before the person I lashed out at. I am sorry.

So what is the opportunity for great joy here? I’m writing this on MLK Day, and I’m preparing to go to a ceremony at the courthouse at noon. Black people and people of all different races have experienced troubles of many kinds in this country that I’ve never faced. But what did someone like Dr. King do? He considered it an opportunity for great joy. His faith was tested, his endurance grew, he changed the world, and even though he suffered assassination, you even used that to continue his legacy.

As for my joy in my mistake, it’s to learn, do better, and then teach others from my mistakes. The stakes are much lower for me than they were for any person of color regarding the suffering they’ve experienced, but maybe it’s a stepping stone for me as I likely have more troubles before me.

Father, I will consider this day joy. Help me to love you well. I give you my praise, any glory that starts to come my way, and honor. I am sorry for how I failed you and others this morning. I believe. Help my unbelief.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen