⁶ And while they were there, the time came for her baby to be born. ⁷ She gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no lodging available for them.

Luke 2:6-7

Dear God, as I read this passage this morning and tried to remember back to the time in the hospital after our son was born, I had one specific memory. I remember holding our son, looking at him, and just wondering how I would mess up. Oh, how I didn’t want to mess up. In those first few moments of his life, I knew they would be the only moments in which I hadn’t made a mistake raising him. But to some extent, I was destined to fail him. I didn’t want to, but I did. I mean, I’m human, right? There is no way to not fail. We have all failed as parents in some way or another. None of us do it all right.

So as Mary and Joseph sat there and looked at their new baby, what must they have been thinking. I’m sure they both felt incredible pressure, knowing who he was. This was God’s son, for crying out loud. Your son! You, incarnate! And they were now responsible for him. How would they raise him? Were they really up to it?

Oh, and they were poor. How would they provide for him? How would they educate him. He was never easier to take care of than when he was in Mary’s womb. But now he was here, and he had to be dealt with. His needs had to be met. What unique needs would he have.

Then there might have been some doubt on Joseph’s part. What was he doing here? Was Mary really telling the truth? Did your angel really appear to him in a dream, or was it just a dream? As Joseph looked around the room they were in, whether it was a stable or a tent, I’m sure he wondered a lot of things. It reminds me of the 4Him song “Strange Way to Save the World.” The chorus:

Why me? I’m just a simple man of trade
Why him? With all the rulers in the world
Why here? Inside this stable filled with hay
Why her? She’s just an ordinary girl
I’m not one to second guess what angels have to say
But this is such a strange way to save the world

So before the shepherds get here tomorrow, I want to just sit in this uncertainty. The insecurity. I’ve been hearing the phrase “imposter syndrome” a lot lately, and I’m sure Joseph and Mary felt it in that moment. How could they not?

Father, I failed my children in a minimum of hundreds of ways over the last 28 years. My wife did too. And they failed us as well. We fail each other. I’m sorry. I did my best. I know Mary and Joseph did their best as well. Most parents do. But from Adam and Eve through today, we all make mistakes. Give us your grace. And give us grace for each other. Give me grace for my wife and children, and give them your grace for me.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen