¹⁹ When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, ²⁰ idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, ²¹ envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

²² But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Galatians 5:19-23

Dear God, you know that I love the show Ted Lasso. It has a ton of worldly stuff in it, but what I discovered pretty early on is that the thing that makes the main character and then the show itself so compelling is that he exhibits most of the fruits of the Spirit that Paul lists in Galatians 5:22-23. In my opinion, he has all but peace. The neat thing is that Ted’s exuberance of these traits begins to rub off on the other characters to the point that they are honored. When I watch young people react to the show they are delighted by the atmosphere Ted creates throughout.

So I was watching a YouTube video this morning on “Healthy Masculinity” as it relates to Ted Lasso. I got to thinking about it before the video even started. Just seeing the title and knowing that I liken Ted to an exhibiter of the fruits of the Spirit Paul calls out, I wondered if Jesus wasn’t a picture of “Healthy Masculinity.” That’s when my head started to swirl a little: So if Jesus is healthy masculinity, how would the Bible define toxic masculinity? That’s where Galatians 5:19-21 come in.

It’s pretty simple, really. A health man (and woman) is loving, joyous, peaceful, patient, good, kind, gentle, faithful, and in control of themselves. I don’t know how much deep thought Paul put into this list when he wrote it, but it is a great list.

On the other side, a toxic man (and woman) is sexually immoral (interesting how the first three revolve around this same theme), idolatrous (this one deserves more attention than it gets because it can be so subtle and stealthy), into mysticism, hostile, argumentative, jealous, temperamental, selfish, divisive, and not in control of themselves–looking for other things to ease pain.

I was in a safety training yesterday where we went through ways to deescalate dangerous people and situations at work. It made me think a lot about the types of people over the years who have concerned me at work. They visibly had the hostile, argumentative, jealous, and temperamental traits. Behind the scenes, they probably had several of the others. When I think about the apostles who were around Jesus, they exhibited a lot of the negative traits at one time or another. Peter could be temperamental. James and John could be selfish and divisive. Judas was selfishly ambitious. But Jesus was there showing them and even me to this day how to be a healthily masculine man.

Father, there is a national organization in our area that claims you as their head, but the fruit that I see from them in of the world. They idolize power. They are divisive. They are selfish. And I can struggle with some of these things as well. I’m not saying I don’t. I just know I am doing my best to recognize those things and repent of them. So for those who are out there, whether they are in this organization, with this organization in spirit (lowercase s), or supportive of them in some way, but they claim to call on you, please help them to recognize the fruit of the flesh they are allowing to grow. Help them to open their eyes and see the difference between what Jesus wanted us to be and what Judas wanted us to be. If Judas had been setting the agenda for Jesus, I cannot help but think it would have looked a lot like Christian Nationalism. Why? Because it has all the hallmarks of toxicity, whether masculine or feminine. And if my eyes are blind t certain things about myself that need to be revealed to me, please let me know. I am sorry for my sin. I am sorry for the things I give in to that are in verses 19-21. I’m not perfect. I’m not there yet. But I am grateful to be on this journey with you.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen