19 When Ahab got home, he told Jezebel everything Elijah had done, including the way he had killed all the prophets of Baal. ² So Jezebel sent this message to Elijah: “May the gods strike me and even kill me if by this time tomorrow I have not killed you just as you killed them.”

³ Elijah was afraid and fled for his life. He went to Beersheba, a town in Judah, and he left his servant there. ⁴ Then he went on alone into the wilderness, traveling all day. He sat down under a solitary broom tree and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors who have already died.”

1 Kings 19:1-4

Dear God, I come back to this story often because it is so relatable. This is Elijah we are talking about THE Elijah. He’s coming off of this amazing victory against the prophets of Baal and seeing your power on full display. He had this amazing experience with you. And yet here he is, praying for death. Literally, talking to you and asking you to take his life, “for [he] is no better than [his] ancestors who have already died.” Ironically, he’s one of only a couple of people who never died. Hmm. I don’t think I’ve put that together before.

This kind of reminds me of the passage I read from the Sermon on the Mount yesterday in Matthew 7 about you being a good father who gives us good gifts. If we ask for bread will you give us a stone? If we ask for death and you still have use of us will you give it to us?

In this case, you were not done with Elijah. In fact, you won’t be done with him until 2 Kings chapter 2. There is work to be done. No, Elijah.

Later, you will ask Elijah, “Why are you here?” He responds that he has been zealous for you, but the Israelites have rejected you and killed your prophets. Now they want him dead too. The real answer is, he’s scared. Verse 3 says it. After Jezebel sends a message to him that she will kill him, it says, “Elijah was afraid and fled for his life.”

You have done so much for me. You have done so much in my life. And yet there are times when I just want to curl up and hide in bed. There are times when my faith is so small and the mountain looks so big. Sometimes my faith just fails. I guess it is nice to know that even Elijah felt the same thing. Moses did. David did. Peter did. Paul did. We all do. Sometimes I just need to regroup, sit before you, and let your Holy Spirit minister to me. Sometimes I need to clear the sand away from my foundation and make sure all of the piers for the foundation are set into the rock.

Father, prepare my heart this morning. I’m supposed to be teaching a Sunday school class. I’ve done my preparation. I’ve spent time with you. I’m excited about the topic. But, frankly, I feel inadequate. I don’t feel up to it. And I’m afraid, just like Elijah. Not for my life, but that I won’t look good. That they won’t be impressed with me as a teacher. Yes, that is where my ego truly is this morning. So help me to die to that, turn loose of how this day will reflect on me, and care about representing the words you might have to say to this group of people. Oh, Lord, be glorified through me. Help me to decrease as you increase. “I’m just a nobody trying to tell everybody about somebody who saved my soul.” (Casting Crowns).

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen