I just want to be with you 
So come close and put your arms around me. 
I just want to love you. 
So come close and look right at me. 

So I can sing into your eyes. 
So I can look into your heart. 
So I can feel you by my side 
And know that you're here.

Dear God, my wife and I went to the chapel at our church last night to pray for a friend who is seriously ill. While we kneeled on the front row and prayed silently, I had this song come to mind. The church we attended nearly 20 years ago in Waco used to sing it. I’ve searched it and Googled it, but I can’t find it online anywhere. Maybe it was original to the church and the music minister, Antioch Community Church and James Mark Gulley, respectively. I don’t know.

One thing I’ve always found interesting about this song is that it is a little vague about who the singer is. Who is “I” in the song and who is “you?” My inclination is to say that I am the singer and it’s from my perspective. And that’s certainly how I felt last night as I prayed. I just wanted to be with you. As I prayed, I was praying about my lack of faith. I was praying, “Father, I believe. Help my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24) But as I sat there in the silence and tried to tap into the Holy Spirit’s presence, I just felt this song pouring out of me. “I just want to be with you.” Sometimes there aren’t great, or even good, answers to our concerns. In those moments, all I’m sometimes left with is your comfort. I just want to be with you so I can feel your arms around me. So I can feel you look right at me. So I can sing to you. So I can look at you. So I can feel you. So I can just know that you’re near.

But then there’s the flip side of this song. What if it is you singing to me? What if you are the one saying, “I just want to be with you”? What if you want to feel my presence? What if want to sing to me? What if you want to see my heart? What if you want to feel me by your side and know that I’m near?

Hagar named you El-roi, the God who sees me. (Genesis 16:13) You see me now. You see me as I sit here at my computer. You see me when I am scared. You see me even when I walk away. But the idea that you love me that much…well, sometimes it’s simply impossible to believe.

Father, I am substitute preaching tomorrow morning for a pastor who suddenly got COVID this week. I think I know which direction I’m going, but I want to make sure. I want to just sit with you for a bit and feel your presence. I want to feel you by my side and know that you’re near. Thank you, Father.

I pray all of this only through the grace you afford me through Jesus’s life, death, and resurrection,

Amen