“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,so my ways are higher than your waysand my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9

Dear God, this where I just have to lean into trust. There are aspects of my life I simply don’t like. Yes, 80% of my life is really as good as I could imagine it, but I have 20% that brings me great pain, worry, and hurt. I don’t understand why it is the way it is. I don’t understand if I’m supposed to be doing something different. I don’t know why. But when I sink into despair I remember the essence of these verses in Isaiah: You are doing things I can’t see or don’t understand, and you’re doing them for reasons I can’t possibly comprehend.

It made me think of a Twila Paris song from the 80s called “Do I Trust You.”

“Do I Trust You, Lord?” By Twila Paris

Sometimes my little heart can’t understand
What’s in Your will, what’s in Your plan.
So many times I’m tempted to ask You why,
But I can never forget it for long.
Lord, what You do could not be wrong.
So I believe You, even when I must cry.

Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the river flow?
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the north wind blow?
You can see my heart,
You can read my mind,
And You got to know
That I would rather die
Than to lose my faith
In the One I love.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Do I trust You?

I know the answers, I’ve given them all.
But suddenly now, I feel so small.
Shaken down to the cavity in my soul.
I know the doctrine and theology,
But right now they don’t mean much to me.
This time there’s only one thing I’ve got to know.

Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the robin sing?
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does it rain in spring?
You can see my heart,
You can read my mind,
And You got to know
That I would rather die
Than to lose my faith
In the One I love.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Do I trust You?

I will trust You, Lord, when I don’t know why.
I will trust You, Lord, till the day I die.
I will trust You, Lord, when I’m blind with pain!
You were God before, and You’ll never change.
I will trust You.
I will trust You.
I will trust You, Lord
I will trust You

I will trust You.
I will trust You.
I will trust You
I will trust You.
I will trust You, Lord.

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Twila Paris

Father, I don’t know what I would do without my faith in you. I know some would call it a crutch. That’s an insult. You are more than that. Using you as a crutch means it’s still about me. It’s NOT about me. I don’t use you as a crutch. I simply throw myself upon you and trust that you are working for purposes higher than my purposes in ways I cannot see. And then I trust that. I trust you. And if I’ve wasted my life trusting you and none of this is true, then I still won’t regret a thing because trusting you and living life the way you created me to live it has brought me more peace than anything else ever could have. It’s brought me more joy. It’s brought me more love. All of the fruits of the Spirit. To quote another song but changing the meaning slightly, God, if loving you is wrong then I don’t want to be right.

I offer this prayer to you through the grace and power of Jesus,

Amen