I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles. Moreover, as you Philippians know, in the early days of your acquaintance with the gospel, when I set out from Macedonia, not one church shared with me in the matter of giving and receiving, except you only; for even when I was in Thessalonica, you sent me aid more than once when I was in need. Not that I desire your gifts; what I desire is that more be credited to your account. I have received full payment and have more than enough. I am amply supplied, now that I have received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent. They are a fragrant offering, an acceptable sacrifice, pleasing to God. And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Philippians 4:12-20

Dear God, I’ve been on both sides of this equation. Twenty years ago, I could never have imagined being on the receiving end of this equation. I was only on the giving end. I would try to give charitably. I made donations and supported different causes and missionaries. My wife and I have always taken a portion of the money each of us receives and earmarked it to give away. But I could never imagine being on the receiving end. To be the person who lives off of the charity of others as they support the work that I do, but as a nonprofit director that is exactly what I do. My salary comes from someone else’s decision to give of their resources to support our work. Even sitting here and typing this right now is quite humbling–even shocking. I can’t believe this is the live I’ve lived for the last 17 years and believe I will continue to live for the foreseeable future.

It’s important for me to note here that Paul does something interesting at the end of this passage. He assures them that he has enough. He is consciously turning off that pipeline from the Philippians to him and allowing that money to go somewhere else. It’s a brave thing to do. Can we ever have enough? What about tomorrow? Shouldn’t my prudence dictate that we need to receive as much as possible? It’s an incredibly fine line to draw–living by faith in you and not by faith in my bank account. I guess the way I try to live out the spirit of this passage is to not cry poor when I’m talking about raising money for our clinic, but instead tell them about our work and then allow you to move them as appropriate. If healthcare for the low-income, uninsured is their thing then we are a good outlet for them to participate in their lives. But if childcare, food, or helping with emergency expenses like rent are their thing then we aren’t a good place for their dollars. And so far you seem to have honored this path. Since I’ve been at the nonprofit where I work over the last 15 years, I’ve seen you organically grow our income to match the programs we offer, while also growing our operating reserves commensurately so that our cash flow can withstand any ebbs and flows throughout the year or over a couple of years. In fact, our reserves have been about the same percentage of our annual operating budget this entire time. It’s all just kind of worked out, but I know that isn’t coincidence. I can feel your provision. I can see when you move in someone’s heart unexpectedly in a way that shocks me. You are so good, and I am so grateful.

Father, help me to be a generous giver of my personal resources, help me to be a good steward of the resources we have at work, and help me to be part of helping others find deeper relationship with you through their decisions to share their resources with those in need. And in the end, make it all about your glory. This is for you, Father. It’s all for you. I love you.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen