How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart? Cleanse me from these hidden faults. Keep your servant from deliberate sins! Don’t let them control me. Then I will be free of guilt and innocent of great sin. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.
Psalm 19:12-14

Dear God, “the sins lurking in my heart.” I have them. We all do. Mine usually come back to some sort of selfishness or insecurity. They become about what I want. I want love, admiration, leisure, etc.; and then I let myself act in a way that will get me those things.

The irony is that the more I do the things that I think will get me what I want, the less appealing I am as a person. People don’t like needy people. You can’t get love by asking for love. You can’t earn admiration by seeking to be admired. And you can’t get fulfillment through leisure. On the contrary. When I selflessly give love is when people are more likely to return it (only if it’s not demanded or done on a quid pro pro basis). When I humbly serve without needing anything in return is when people are more interested in following my example. When I am generous and sympathetic to someone instead of badmouthing and judging them is when people will see something in me that is comfortable in my own skin.

Father, I suppose the best way to know all of the sins lurking in my heart is to, every day, clean house by fertilizing the fruit of the Holy Spirit in my life and then letting that fruit crowd out the weeds and thorns of the sin that binds me. So fill me with love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, faithfulness, kindness, goodness, and self control. Let them completely envelop my life so that the sin is crowded out. Only the Holy Spirit can get me there.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen