But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.

James 3:14-16

Dear God, so the way I read this is that James is saying, if you’re a jealous, insecure person then the best things to do is realize it in yourself, own it, and admit it to the world. Then at least people will know that you know who you are and have at least that amount of respect for you.

So what are the negative things I need to own? One that always comes to mind quickly is insecurity and a need to be impressive to others. I really care about how others see me. One of the biggest problems that causes me is in the area of not being confrontational enough when it’s required. It’s a problem.

It also makes me a needy person. I took a personality test one time that basically said that I was confident but I need a lot of compliments. I paraphrased it to say that I’m arrogant, but it needs fed. For a long time, probably the first eight-ish years of my marriage, my neediness was very draining on my wife until I started to be able to see what she meant and realized how a lack of relationship with you contributed to it. But the closer I get to you the less needy I am.

Father, even as I try to leave behind my weaknesses I’m reminded now that I can’t just consciously let them go. I have to leave them through drawing closer to you. So help me to do that. Let the fruit of the Spirit crowd out the thorns and thistles of my flesh so that I might be the man you are calling me to be.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen