²¹ I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. ²² I love God’s law with all my heart.²³ But there is another power^[a] within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. ²⁴ Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? ²⁵ Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.

8 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. ² And because you belong to him, the power^[b] of the life-giving Spirit has freed you^[c] from the power of sin that leads to death. ³ The law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature.^[d] So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. ⁴ He did this so that the just requirement of the law would be fully satisfied for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit.

Romans 7:21-8:4

Dear God, I remember when my daughter was six years old she said she wanted to be baptized. I was skeptical that she was old enough to understand the decision she was making so we had her meet with the children’s minister at our church. After meeting with her, the children’s minister came out and said, “Yes, I think she understands and is ready.” I turned to our daughter and asked, “Honey, do you think that if you get baptized you won’t sin anymore?” She said, “Yes.” Then I looked at the children’s minister and said, “She’s not ready.”

At the time, our daughter internalized a lot of guilt. She was one of those people who hated it when she made a mistake and she hated to be corrected by my wife and me. It was a delicate balance we had to walk with her because there were times when we needed to correct her, but she would take it so hard. She didn’t see Jesus as her sacrifice and atonement. She saw him as the path to not making mistakes any longer.

Growing up Baptist, I had similar experiences. I would go to a revival, a Fellowship of Christian Athletes Conference, or hear a particularly convicting sermon and I would walk the aisle, repenting of my sins and wanting to sin no more. I would think that maybe something went wrong from the last time I did this because I wasn’t who I wanted to be. It wasn’t until later that I realized that it doesn’t work this way. Paul describes it here. I am being formed. The chaff is being burned off. The dross is being removed. The Holy Spirit is molding me as I spend time with you, but that doesn’t mean I have arrived. In fact, I have no idea what it would ever look like if I did “arrive” on this side of death, but I guess I would not be a perfect person, but an incredibly loving person who had zero ego and was completely focused on you and others.

Father, I am not there, but I hope I am at least closer than I was yesterday, or last month, or last year, or last decade. I came to this job over 12 years ago. I hope I am closer to you and being who you need me to be now than I was then. And I hope I will be closer to you 12 years from now than I am now. You have a lot left to teach me. Help me to continue to submit to your authority, molding, and leadership.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen