Where would I go? Where would I run,
Even if I found the strength to fly?
if I rose on the wings of the dawn
And crashed through the corners of the sky
And if I sailed past the edge of the sea
Even if I made my bed in hell,
Still there You would find me.

[Chorus]
Nothing is beyond You, You stand beyond the reach
Of my vain imaginations, my misguided pieties
The heavens stretch to hold You and deep cries out to deep
Saying that nothing is beyond You
Time cannot contain You, You fill eternity
Sin could never stain You, death has lost its sting
And I cannot explain how You came to love me
Except to say that nothing is beyond You,
Nothing is beyond You

If I shrink back from the light, so I can sink into the dark
If I take cover and I close my eyes, even then You would see my heart
And you’d cut through all of the pain and rage,
The darkness is not dark to you, the night’s as bright as day

Dear God, this is one of those last songs Rich Mullins wrote and recorded before he died, but the recording is something he did as a demo, just sitting in an old church with a piano and a “boom box”. Others like Amy Grant, have recorded since then, but I still prefer Rich’s version. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwbVy3Ak3V8

When they released this collection of songs after he died and called it The Jesus Record, this one was my instant favorite. It just kind of addresses that dark, sad place I let myself go to sometimes. There are times when I just want to be alone. I want to be away from everyone and everything, and that includes You. The seductive thing about these times is that they usually start pretty well. After all, a little alone time can be healthy (although I think I am still supposed to “take you with me” to those places. But what ends up happening is that I become self-indulgent. Then I start to feel sorry for myself. My heart gets darker and before I know it I am overwhelmed y everything around me and I have no perspective.

As I typed out the words to this song this morning, the second verse struck me in a new way. Here are the words that really hit me: “so I can sink into the dark.” What is it about sinking into the dark that is so appealing to a human who is in the Light? Maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s not. But there is something about the quiet hole of sin that is enticing.

Father, my other favorite part of this son is when he says, “Even if I made my bed it hell, still there You would find me.” You are, for whatever reason, always seeking me. Like the Prodigal Son’s father, seeing the son a long way off, you are always looking for me. So thank you for your love. As a father, I can get just a little feel for your love for me. I am sorry where I fail you. I am sorry for when I indulge my slothful, sinful side. I am sorry when I shrink back from the light and seek a little time away from you. The truth is, it is NEVER fulfilling. It is empty and hollow.