15 When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him?” 16 So they sent word to Joseph, saying, “Your father left these instructions before he died: 17 ‘This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly.’ Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father.” When their message came to him, Joseph wept.

18 His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. “We are your slaves,” they said.

19 But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. 21 So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.

Dear God, this family was deceptive until the end. These guys are awful. Up until now there is no indication that they had told Jacob what really happened to Joseph way back when (although this story intimates he found out somewhere along the way). But here they are lying to him and telling him that their father (whom Joseph loved) gave him instructions that he never gave. In fact, if Jacob were really to have given those instructions, wouldn’t he have more likely given them directly to Joseph than gone through the boys?

On the other side of this is the fact that Joseph was able to see beyond the pain of his situation and even any anger he had towards you for the way your plan unfolded. He accepted the suffering. He accepted the trials. Now, would he have accepted it if things hadn’t worked out so well for him in the end? Probably not, but it would still have been easy for him to not let his scars heal and hold on to the pain and bitterness.

Father, I still have grudges against people that I have got to let go of. In fact, while I was writing this my wife talked about some physical symptoms she felt during a recent illness, and it reminded me of a woman in this town who has done some things to hurt me because she is basically afflicted by the same symptoms on a constant basis but she doesn’t realize it. So when the thought of her crossed my mind I was instantly angry. So I still have issues. I still have grudges. Give me your perspective on these things and give me healing because I am, frankly, the only one they really hurt, and yet the feel so good to hold on to.