1 Then Jacob called for his sons and said: “Gather around so I can tell you what will happen to you in days to come.

2 “Assemble and listen, sons of Jacob;

listen to your father Israel.

3 “Reuben, you are my firstborn,

my might, the first sign of my strength,

excelling in honor, excelling in power.

4 Turbulent as the waters, you will no longer excel,

for you went up onto your father’s bed,

onto my couch and defiled it.

Dear God, bitterness and holding onto a grudge is interesting. I am having some conflicts with a family member right now, and most of the problems go back to things I did to hurt this person years ago that they still hold against me. I have done hurtful things, although they were mostly done with good intentions (I won’t say always), but I have apologized for all of them at one time or another. Now, they are still used against me. I know I have really hurt them, and they have a right to their anger against me. I just don’t know how to move forward until there is forgiveness.

I see that in Jacob here. The sin that Reuben committed was practically a lifetime ago, but Jacob was holding on to the grudge. The man who begged Esau for mercy because of the sin that he committed against Esau now could not forgive his son and, in essence, cursed him for it.

Well, I honestly don’t know what to do with the anger this family member feels towards me. There is a lot of bitterness there, and I don’t see them turning loose of it any time soon. They haven’t turned loose of it over the last four years, so I don’t think it will start now. The problem that this leaves me with is that I don’t know how to go on with a normal relationship with this person from here. No apologies will do because they cannot forgive me. I really don’t know what to do from here. That is probably what vexes me the most.

Father, I simply offer all of this up to you. Only you can redeem the situation. Only you can redeem me. Only you can redeem any of us. The more I think about this the more lost in my thought I get, so I will end this prayer here, simply asking that you will please help me know what to do from here.